Dan sits down at the kitchen counter with Renny as he tells us that he's been entertaining himself by aggravating her. Indeed, she looks like she would be fun to pick on, and it is hilarious to watch her get all excited and yell crazy stuff. He ends up playing the mimic game with her until she completely loses her shit and tackles him, just like Eric did to Dick that one time. That little number right there is probably not helping the whole "Dan is America's Player" thing he's been trying to dispel.
Dan continues to aggravate Renny later that day, coming into peace room and making snide comments to her. "Tell me something funny, Dan," she says to him. "Hold up a mirror," he responds, making the "BAM!" finger guns that you make when you know you've made a lame joke, but cannot resist because someone's made themselves such an easy target. Renny, slightly annoyed by Dan, starts getting all paranoid about the game, asking everyone what they think. Dan says it's pointless to speculate, since they're "all on the same boat, and that boat is named the S.S. Jerry. We have to go where the boat takes us." Next stop: Jort Island.
Dan continues to pick away at Renny until she gets fed up with him, which causes her to...spank him. Kinky! He's lays there and mutters "physical violence!" undoubtedly quoted verbatim from the Big Brother handbook, and she gets all huffy and storms out. Renny then tells us in confessional that she would really like to get Dan out of the house. Apparently, she's planning on accomplishing that by having drinks with F. Scott Fitzgerald and doing the Charleston until the sun comes up.
Veto competition time! Big Brother sends everyone to different rooms, and you know what that means: it's time for the stupid face mashup thing that they do every year. This year, they are babies composed of Big Brother houseguests, and you have to guess who the "parents" are. I would like to point out that a prime opportunity was missed here: how awesome would it have been make the houseguests wear giant diapers and hold huge rattles for this? You're dropping the ball, Grodner.
So anyway, there are scary hybrid Cylon babies all over the place. It's tough to tell which is the most disturbing, but the Jerry/Michelle combo would definitely be the one that grossed me out the most re: imagining the moment of conception.
So, anyway, there is racing and name placing and whatnot. Dan appears to get done pretty quickly. Jerry sucks at this game, as with all things in life. Memphis also gets it pretty quickly. Keesha is too grossed out about her "gorilla" baby with Stephen to do well and she makes little noises every time a new baby is onscreen. Renny, of course, is the most awesome to watch. First she tells us that her baby (with Jessie) was the only one that was cute, and then when the crazy Drag Queen Jerry/Michelle Devil Child appears onscreen, she can't figure out who it is, even though it is probably the easiest fake baby hybrid ever. Wow, I can't believe I just legitimately typed that sentence. Renny's signature kooky theme music starts playing as she spends a bajillion years switching everything around and the demon spawn looks on.
When the times are revealed, Renny is about eight hours behind everyone else, and Memphis ends up winning the veto for doing it in a little under three minutes. Jerry tells us in confessional that he hopes Memphis keeps his word and keeps Dan and Keesha on the block. I don't remember Memphis ever promising not to use the veto this week, but we're getting to the time of year where my head gets filled with NFL stats and primetime schedule grids, but I could be wrong about that. I'm pretty sure I'm right, and that's enough, so we're going to all go with the "Memphis never promised that" theory, if only because it gives us another reason to dislike Jerry.
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Comments (17)
Finally, my favorite part of the show is coming up - first visit to the big ball of bitterness known as the Jury House!
Well, ball of bitterness and spunk now that Ollie and April are going at it. I wonder if there are any updates on April's "lateness"? You'd think BB would have morphed a Rerun/April baby during the POV in honor of the occasion.
1 of 17 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on September 3, 2008 5:10 AM
Schoonie,
You've outdone yourself. I actually let out a few chuckles during this one, and I'm more of a "grin on the outside, chuckle on the inside" kind of girl.
I was also befuddled by Jerry's reaction, b/c I thought Memphis was pretty non-commital about what he was going to do with the POV.
My new catchphrase: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, I call you a Judas and make myself look like a giant asshole."
Ha.
2 of 17 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on September 3, 2008 7:05 AM
Jerry's a doofus. But as much as I loved his fall into the pool, have to say it doesn't come close to the spectacular Lisi face plant, IMO.
Now, Jerry tripping as he walks up the sidewalk to the jury house next week, as the rest of the jurors run to find hiding places to avoid Jerry's rambling ... THAT would have possibilities!
Awesome recap as always, Schoonie.
3 of 17 | Posted by ChicagoGal | Posted on September 3, 2008 7:38 AM
I think the Jerry Michelle baby grew up to be the bad guy in Lethal Weapon 2. And the kindly old guy in Mighty Ducks.
4 of 17 | Posted by zengolfguy | Posted on September 3, 2008 8:16 AM
"Let's see what the Magic Man has left in his wand."
Isn't that what BB6's Howie said before he went in the 'Jack Shack'?
5 of 17 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on September 3, 2008 8:26 AM
"Jerry tells us that he's making all these statements to cover the fact that he has an alliance with Memphis. Wow, what a ninja you are; I don't think you've succeeded in anything but making us wonder what the hell you're talking about."
Schoonie
When I accused BB of being anti-ninjites, Jerry was not the representation I had in mind. He could never be a Ninja, jorts and visible eye-boogers are against the Ninja code.
Sidenote: Who knew from week 1 that our little Dan would grow up to be quite the BB player. I have not been this impressed since "Operation Six Fingers" Nikomas came up with to get rid of Jase. To this day, I know the law that says you pick veto players by random is named after her. She was a Ninja!!
6 of 17 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on September 3, 2008 9:53 AM
Why did Renny refuse to believe that the Jerry/Michelle baby was part Jerry?????? Who else in the house is bald?? That really just made no sense to me. I love Renny, but she really made no effort in the POV game.
I actually think it would be wise to take Renny to the final two. I think "gameplay" would conquer "loveability" in the jury vote, wouldn't it??
Also..about April's "being late"...doesn't BB provide condoms? Why do smart people do stupid things? I'm just saying.
7 of 17 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on September 3, 2008 10:06 AM
Holdon...the NFL? I thought Big Brother and the NFL were mutually exclusive...well, great recap anyway. In fact, sometimes I think I only watch this show in order to read the recaps after.
So glad Memphis didn't change his mind -- Dan's been one of the most entertaining BB players I've seen, he definitely deserves to make it to the final two.
Notice how quickly after his fall into the pool that Jerry reappeared with his sleeveless red shirt and jorts?
Man, when I'm that old, I'll be sitting on my front porch, strumming a guitar with a joint in my mouth...but wearing jorts? I don't think so
8 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 3, 2008 10:24 AM
I'm with Itchy, only for sure I'm watching the show for the recaps!!!! Good one Schoon, lately I just start reading and try to guess if it's you, fozzie or flip, and I must say, it's getting harder to tell!!!
Well, I kinda like the 4 in the pact this time, and I'm sad to see someone go, but I guess it's that close to the end--wouldn't anyone win against Jerry . . . am I crazy!? (okay, yes, but I can't help asking . . . )
9 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 3, 2008 11:01 AM
This is the first veto meeting of the season that I really wasn't sure how it'd go. I thought Memphis would save Dan and bring him to the final two (figuring he'd have the bet shot of winning next to him) but you just never know. He also did a great job of breaking the news of using the veto to Keesha. Jerryjorts was gonna be pissed no matter what, but he tried.
Dirty Sanchez... great post! You made me LOL with every typed word. Bitter jury members, we await you!
10 of 17 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 3, 2008 11:12 AM
So they didn't show this, but according to the BB feeds, all the houseguests except for Dan had been drinking before the Veto competition. They didn't think it would be held because it was already so late at night. But apparently Keesha and Renny were trashed. Explains a lot!
11 of 17 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on September 3, 2008 11:40 AM
What's worse? The coon cap with the v-neck or the 'renegades' showing solidarity by whipping out red bandanas during a competition?
Sorry to see Renny go....
12 of 17 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on September 3, 2008 11:51 AM
Bye, Bye Renny. She was crazy and a goofball but still entertaining. My Karnak abilities may be skewed by the determination of "Los Renegados" and Memphis' use of the veto but I suspect Renny's on her way to the BJ House. (Bitter Jury House)
I'm glad Los Renegados didn't pull out their red bandanas and I hope they don't do it anytime soon because that would be almost as lame as Jerry's "let's talk" "X."
Lovin' the coon skin hat. Memphis is such a fashionista. Will Brian be right about Memphis? Was the winner called week 1?
13 of 17 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on September 3, 2008 12:45 PM
Mr Dangerous- I don't think nothin'... even the matching bandanas, in BB or reality history can be as lame as Jerry's "let's talk" "X." LMAO!
Brian left so early, we didn't get to know him well but I gave him major points for keeping a straight face and not bursting into giggles like an adolescent girl.
Will be interesting to see if Brian called it right from the get-go. But hopefully Dan's The Man!
14 of 17 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 3, 2008 1:02 PM
Ha! I like to play a little game when I read BB recaps where I try to guess which recapper wrote it by reading the first couple of paragraphs before seeing the author's name.
I knew as soon as you mentioned Lisi falling that it was definitely a Schoonie recap!
15 of 17 | Posted by aholic | Posted on September 4, 2008 7:18 AM
Hey
Schoonie I love your idea that the cast should have worn diapers for the face mashup baby contest, but wouldn't that be overkill for Jerry? I already hear the distinct sound of rubber and plastic against his ass every time he moves!
16 of 17 | Posted by dizzy | Posted on September 4, 2008 11:43 AM
Best recap this season imo.
I agree that they should have had an April-Ollie one, but that may have been too obvious.
Diapers would have been Jenius!
The Dan-Renny flashback to E.D. and Eric was rich. I just wish Renny would've poured cereal on Dan...
17 of 17 | Posted by samiamnot525 | Posted on September 5, 2008 6:09 PM