After the nominations and the numerous flashbacks, we receive the following new information during the first five minutes of the program: Matt's pants are dumb. Seriously, he's wearing highwaters. I do not understand why people who know that they are going to be on camera 24 hours a day insist on bringing dumb things to wear. I mean, I was wearing overalls and yellow galoshes during the podcast last week, and y'all didn't know until I told you just now. What? I like to take advantage of new technology while dressing like Paddington Bear. It adds a certain irony to the proceedings.
Josh tells us that he's happy Allison is nominated because she's "ugly inside and out", which is a very Disney way of looking at things. Chelsia (because she is smart) tells us that she really wants to get Matt and Natalie out of the house because they're the bigger threat. Josh and Sharon talk in the HoH after the nomination ceremony, and Josh is very proud of himself for not going off. Good for you for not acting like a dick this one time! That makes you...one for twenty million! Hey, at least you're still ahead of Dick and Daniele.
Downstairs, Matt is giving James and Adam shit for never having been on the block. Adam is like YES, I AM VERY LUCKY! LET'S GO PUNCH BABIES! IT IS ALL ABOUT TIMING! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU LIGHT A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL ON FIRE IN FRONT OF A HOBO! Sheila is bragging to Allison and Natalie in the kitchen about never having been nominated as well, and you guys know how Big Brother is with the foreshadowing: it's been done more subtly in Daman Wayans movies.
And now, a montage of Natalie harassing Matt for some of that sweet, sweet Boston Cream Pie. She is absolutely, positively pathetic, asking him for a massage like eight billion times, following him around like a puppy, asking him for a massage like eight million times. Matt bitches about how much she follows him around, and if you didn't want someone stalking you, YOU SHOULDN'T LET THEM GO DOWN ON YOU IN A CONFINED SPACE FROM WHICH NEITHER PARTY CAN ESCAPE.
In the steam room (wait, they have a steam room?) Allison has a cunning plan: one of the nominated couples will win the veto and take themselves off. I know, genius, right? But wait! There's more! That couple will then (wait for it...) campaign and save the other one! OMG, how can this go wrong? Someone put her in charge of Homeland Security!
Back from commercial, they pick players for the veto competition. Sheila and Adam get to play, and James will host. Afterwards, Matt is confident that he and Natalie can beat Ryan and Allison. Josh tells him that even if they don't win, Josh will take him off the block and put someone else on. Before any of that can make sense, James comes out of the diary room wearing a toga. It appears that his nipple is blurred out, but it might just be some sort of offensive tattoo that says something deep about the establishment. Burn CBS to the ground!
The veto competition involves putting a bunch of puzzle pieces together while in the air, that one partner retrieves and brings to the solver. Both are connected to a pulley that means that they have to work together to coordinate the piece bringing and puzzle solving. Or something. I don't know, it's difficult to explain. Then you have to stab an arrow into a heart to win the veto, because that's why everyone is dressed stupidly. We must follow the theme, even if the competition is hard to explain in paragraph form.
Before the competition starts, Sheila tells Adam that he's going to have to be in the harness, because she is afraid of heights. It's like seven feet in the air! What is she, related to Casey from RR/RW Challenge? That can't be possible, because Casey is sort of awesome and Sheila is pretty much heinous in every conceivable way. Pieces are retrieved and people are hoisted. Sheila sucks at putting the puzzle together, which is supposed to look like the veto symbol.
Allison screams the entire time, and the competition is actually close and interesting when both she and Natalie only have one piece left. Ryan, unfortunately, is sort of dumb (well, really dumb) and can't figure out which piece of the remaining ones fits into the puzzle, and it's totally his fault that Matt and Natalie win the veto.
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Comments (9)
Great recap, Schoonie.
You nailed everything and everyone perfectly!
On another note, where the hell did Sharon's eyebrows go? She only has like 1/4 of one.
1 of 9 | Posted by renoblondee | Posted on March 5, 2008 5:59 AM
I have given up on watching this season this season. Thanks for the recaps - they are actually more interesting than the show. Usually I get sucked into the feeds and everything, but this season I find so unwatchable. Chances are if an episode of Cane was shown in BB's place - I would watch instead. Here's hoping a decent twist is revealed on the live show. Then again, probably not. There's always the summer......
2 of 9 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on March 5, 2008 6:31 AM
Yes, Matt does have a lazy eye. I noticed it awhile ago and wasn't sure about it until Princess Joshuah started to talk about it behind his back as if it were a character flaw. Apparently, he has learned to control it when he wants to but I'm guessing it must be pretty difficult to control 24 hours a day.
Wow, I thought Dustin was a preteen princess but JoshUAH is bordering on 8-year old Hannah Montana fan grotesque (which by the way he requested as a wake-up song from producers this week).
3 of 9 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 5, 2008 6:37 AM
I love this website and all the blogs and such but I have never been motivated to write until the moment I realized I wasn't the only one who noticed Matts wandering eye. Wait - all men have wandering eyes - I meant Matt's LAZY eye. I have to give him credit - playing that game while concentrating on not looking google eyed cannot be easy.
4 of 9 | Posted by OYWHATNEXT | Posted on March 5, 2008 6:46 AM
Hi! I thought a key part of the episode was when, after the "friend" talk w/Lazy Eye, Natalie told the Diary Room that there's still a good chance L.E. is her soul mate!! Way to keep the dream alive, Natalie! I feel sort of badly for her. Without the make-up, frosted hair and funbags, she'd be quite a dog.
Also - here's to the most overused phrase in BB history, "with that being said..."
what a LAME expression! it drives me nuts!
5 of 9 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 5, 2008 7:00 AM
Wow with all the screaming during the veto comp and all the mindless bitching this episode, I realized that every single girl's voice in this house is grating and completely obnoxious. Allison's veto screaming and condescending tone with Josh, Natalie's whining to Maaaaattttty, Sharon's like midwestern ghettoness "uh uh no you di-int," and Sheila. Enough said. Chelsia didn't really say anything but that haircut alone is enough to annoy you.
6 of 9 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on March 5, 2008 7:01 AM
"Chelsia didn't really say anything but that haircut alone is enough to annoy you."
Her haircut kills me. It was trendy about 10 years ago, and one side is longer than the other. Every time she is on screen, I am mesmerized by the longer side, willing it to be even.
7 of 9 | Posted by amycakes | Posted on March 5, 2008 11:28 AM
Matt and Sharon's hookup wasn't too out of place, as they both were involved int the pool orgy last week. And were making out heavy then. Still can't believe CBS didn't show ANY of it...
I really really want the twist to be good, because at this rate I see either Chelsia and James or Josh and Sharon winning and I can't stand them the most.
8 of 9 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 5, 2008 11:45 AM
Ladies and Gentlemen take note: Don't act like Natalie. She is so pathetic. So desperate. So like all of us when we've got it bad.
Still lovin' Josh but I'm thinking he needs to start working out. Somebody needs to put him on slop too 'cause he's looking really flabb-o.
I hope the Hail Mary pass saves Ryan but I want to be the one who tackles him when he gets the ball.
9 of 9 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 5, 2008 12:52 PM