Sheila and Sharon chat on the couch; Sheila seems to think that Matt and Natalie both have a shot at winning the game, and Sharon is hilariously like "Um, no." She then proceeds to spill the beans about her numerous makeout sessions with Matt, which Sheila cannot believe. The first thing she wants to know is whether he is a good kisser or not, but my favorite part is Sharon's response, which is, "No, but I would kiss a freaking dog to get to the end of this game." That is awesome, and I cannot wait for the HoH competition where the has to stick her tongue in a schnauzer's mouth.
So, what's a batshit crazy, fucknuts insane, bananas-ass woman to do when she finds out that Sharon has made out with Matt? Why, immediately tell Natalie, of course! You can see the gears (well, gear) turn very lonely in Natalie's head, and she is very matter-of-fact all "I have come to a conclusion. And that conclusion is that I must get Sharon out of this house." Why is it that I love Natalie so much? When did this happen? She is so dumb, and yet I cannot help but root for her.
Sheila then tells Natalie that she was thinking "the exact same thing", which whatever, she was not. She is a walking roulette wheel with no rhyme or reason. Attributing logical thoughts to Sheila is useless. Most species of dolphin possess greater powers of human reasoning.
So Sheila and Natalie go and grab James to tell him that they're going to vote to keep him in the house. James's face: "Yeah, right, skanks." Nonetheless, James shakes their hands as they make him promise not to turn on them and team up with the boys. I hate Sheila, you guys. She loves to stir up shit and be ridiculous, and I cannot wait until she is vanquished, but she has definitely done her part to make this season interesting.
Matt grabs Natalie and takes her into the bathroom area to "reconfirm" that James is a goner. Natalie goes all jealous girlfriend on him, all "Well, are you taking me to the end or her?" about Sharon, because this house exists in a parallel dimension in which everyone has conversations as if they are in tenth grade and it is the high school hallway. Natalie then tells Matt that she's going to "make the best move for me!" Which, two responses: 1.) Whatever. Everybody knows you're going to do whatever Matt tells you, and 2.) You totally don't know what that move is, because most of your brain function is currently busy doodling your name and Matt's on the back of some mental spiral notebook.
Matt takes Natalie to the back room to try to do some damage control, and the discussion is ostensibly about the game, but it is really about Natalie's jealousy over the Sharon situation (which Matt wisely outright apologizes for) and wanting to be treated nicely by Matt, because that's what every conversation is about for them. She literally says to him, "I just want some attention" which is simultaneously sad, endearing and pathetic in exponential ways which I cannot describe. Finally, he gets fed up and offers to end their partnership. He tells her he's moving out of their bed, and they can stop with their whatever, and she doesn't know what to say because she's slowly coming to the realization that he's a douche and she should stop trying so hard. Just kidding, that's never going to happen.
Wow, that whole segment was intense. Why is this show so randomly awesome sometimes?
At this point, Chenbot is sitting down to segue into commercial, and I notice that not only is she wearing two sweaters, but that she has a leopard skin blouse on underneath those. Three layers! Her cooling unit must be working overtime. I hope she doesn't overheat, that would be terrible. I am concerned. DID ANYONE BOTHER TO WINTERIZE HER?
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Comments (12)
I would love to have Madeyoulaugh and Flipit come to my house with or without their tire irons. I would grill up some fresh salmon and Alaskan King Crab, open a few local Alaskan ales or imported California chardonnays and invite the bears in to watch Big Brother with us.
1 of 12 | Posted by caughtdoinit | Posted on March 13, 2008 8:04 PM
Tonight's episode has restored my faith in BB. This season might not be a total waste after all. My favorite part was Chenbot freaking out when everyone was talking over her. It was hysterical.
Oh yea and my boyfriend rewound the show 5 times and kept asking 'Who's the dude in the yellow shirt?' when all the evicted guests where on the porch. What was up with Parker's dp?
2 of 12 | Posted by mere2142 | Posted on March 13, 2008 8:15 PM
Tonight's episode has restored my faith in BB...this season might not totally suck afterall.
Chenbot freaking out over the people talking over her was priceless.
My boyfriend replayed all of the houseguests on the front porch and kept asking who the dude in the yellow shirt was because he didn't even recognize Parker.
3 of 12 | Posted by mere2142 | Posted on March 13, 2008 8:17 PM
alex's buuueeeennoo killed me.
i also love natalie. she's great tv.
i think if sharon was evicted alex would be in the house right now (no cbs box twist at all)
4 of 12 | Posted by nestofvipers | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:59 AM
Hey Schoonie, conjugate your verbs!
"There ARE sparkles and disco balls and unicorns."
Teehee ;-)
So, Adam and Nat totally boned it by voting James back in, right? While they still have the numbers on their side, what could be worse than a nerd herder scorned? "Mystery Contestant" would have totally been psyched just to have the opportunity to return.
5 of 12 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:41 AM
Loved the part when Natalie found out about Matty kissing Sharon. That whole sequence which ends with Matty eventually apologizing was fascinating. I didn't know there were people like Natalie in the world and then I looked in the mirror.
Josh will never stab Ryan in the back. Josh is to Ryan what Natalie is to Matty.
6 of 12 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 14, 2008 8:56 AM
I really hope other people noticed this: near the end of the show, when the houseguests were on their disco balls, there was a quick close-up camera shot of their hamster (or gerbil)!! It was a RIOT! It was when Julie was asking James something.
Did anyone else catch this?!
7 of 12 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 14, 2008 9:37 AM
Scarlet, I agree. It made no sense for Adam (and especially Natalie) to vote James back in, when they'd just voted him out. He obviously knew his only vote was from Chelsia. I bet Natalie is so dumb that she thought he wouldn't be mad at her since she voted to bring him back in.
I would much rather have seen Alex back in the house than James. Ryan's HOH week was basically useless and now he is going to be targeted unless Matt win HOH basically.
8 of 12 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on March 14, 2008 10:46 AM
You're right. Natalie is lovable because she's so vulnerable. Airhead, yes. Sweet, also yes. She was picked for the show precisely for those reasons.
Now, Chelsia has developed some serious jones for James, but how will she feel when she discovers he's a gay porn actor? I'd like to see THAT follow-up after the show! Frankly, with all the dangers involved in that profession, I think it was bad of CBS to pick him or not reveal the "guests" true professions before the show.
I honestly don't understand the thinking behind bringing James back in immediately after bouncing him out. Ryan was the only one with a justifiable reason to vote to bring him back, because he was afraid he may have been voting Jen away, but I can't see anyone else's earthly reason to do so.
Ah, well, this ship of fools continues on its merry way. Does anyone else think Matty is serously in the closet? NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT!
9 of 12 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:19 AM
I was pretty pissed that again they omitted something that happened. After the POV, Josh and James poured stuff over Nat's head. Pickle juice and water. And then Josh, of course, attacked her. So did Chelsia, and the stuff she said that day is one of the reasons she disgusts me. I won't even repeat it here.
Honestly I think they came up with the mystery box idea that day, after the contestants casted their votes and the producers knew James would be going home. Why not make more drama by giving him the chance to stay??
I would have loved to see Alex back =(
10 of 12 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:10 PM
That episode was a waste of my time. I intend to read solely the recap from this point forward!
I don't care how cute you all think Natalie is...she's an idiot! Her I.Q is comparable to a plant or a gerbil! If any of these idiots (Adam and Natalie) had some brains, they would have voted for the mystery houseguest. They had the numbers. If Alex was swarn in, he would have allied himself with the Matt and Ryan alliance.
I think its understood that none of these fools are playing the game properly or are playing the game at all!
You may all disagree; but, Chelsia, James, Joshua and Sharon are the new nerd herd!
11 of 12 | Posted by sowhat1234 | Posted on March 14, 2008 2:59 PM
You're so right Schoonie! Natalie IS Ralph Wiggum. I can totally picture her sad face as a train Valentine falls to the floor and she says, "But Matty, I choo-choo-choose you." So true, hilarious and kind of sad all at the same time.
12 of 12 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on March 15, 2008 4:58 PM