Out in the eviction studio, Julie asks James why no one got up. He tells her that he asked them not to because he has no desire to say goodbye to people who don't keep their word. When Julie asks him who is playing the best game in the house, he tells her Sheila, which is sort of true by accident. I mean, it's true, but it's not like she's doing it on purpose. James also tells Julie that he does like Chelsia, and he hopes that they get to hang out after the show is over. Julie is like, "Wait, how are you going to do that with the whole 'biking around the world' thing? Is she going to come with you?" And you can tell for a moment that Julie is envisioning this whole scenario where they ride along on one of those big tandem bikes while the sun shines. And there are balloons!
They show Chelsia's goodbye message, which seems earnest and honest. James diffuses the tension by being like "INTENSE!" when it's over, which is perfect. I think he might actually be kind of cool. Julie asks him what he would say if she told him that this wasn't "the end of the line". He looks at her very seriously and goes, "I might...crap my pants."
That, right there? Is brilliant, because Julie (like most robots) has no concept of hyperbole, so she thinks, momentarily, that he is actually going to poop all over the studio.
I'm not kidding about that. Nothing more needs to be said, but go watch it again. It will blow your mind. Best moment of a pretty awesome episode. She also thinks that the word "crap" is somehow taboo and on the FCC blacklist, so she is super worried that all of James' responses will now involve at least one four letter word. You can see her tense up, it's great.
Then Julie sets off the siren, and they all run screaming into the living room, babbling about how something is about to happen. Chelsia is trying not to get excited and everyone is speculating as they hit yet another commercial. The best part is Joshuah's face, which is 100 percent certain that he's going to have to deal with Allison again. Oh, how I wish that would have happened.
So, Julie tells the Houseguests about the "mystery box" and how they'll get an option between that and James. She gets to this part and they all start colluding about who to vote for; Julie keeps trying to talk over them to keep the drama from diffusing (even though you can tell that it's James by now), so she is like "THERE IS NO TALKING NOW!" and DisciplineBot will make you pay. You can almost see the lasers trained on them from off-camera.
One by one, the HGs come in to vote. Ryan is first, and he votes for the Mystery Box, because if he does not, there will be no box of any kind for him when he gets home. Chelsia votes for James, obviously. Matt and Sheila vote for the box. Josh votes for James (because he is effing convinced that Allison will haunt his ass, which again would be AWESOME) votes for James, as does Nat. Adam is like BRING BACK JIMMY! LET'S BREAK STUFF! And then Sharon votes for James too and it is over. Back from commercial, the box is in the middle of the living room and there is screaming as James emerges from the box, reborn. Hey, a metaphor! Gross.
It's time for the HoH competition and everyone heads out to the backyard. It is decorated like a giant Lisa Frank sticker. There is sparkles and disco balls and unicorns. It's an endurance competition, in which they have to stand on disco balls that rotate around, and the last person standing wins. Pretty simple, really. Since explaining challenges is the bane of my recapper existence, I am often thankful for stuff like this. And then, of course, they have to spray dumb shit on them, and even Natalie is like "Wow, here it comes!" so you know that when her ass figures it out, there is no surprise left to your boring repurposed crap. However, I love endurance challenges; they're great. This one looks like it could last forever.
Wow, that was actually an awesome episode. This season is starting to pick up!
As a reminder, if you post spoilers about the competition or who won in the comments, Madeyoulaugh and Flipit will come to your house with tire irons.
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Comments (12)
I would love to have Madeyoulaugh and Flipit come to my house with or without their tire irons. I would grill up some fresh salmon and Alaskan King Crab, open a few local Alaskan ales or imported California chardonnays and invite the bears in to watch Big Brother with us.
1 of 12 | Posted by caughtdoinit | Posted on March 13, 2008 8:04 PM
Tonight's episode has restored my faith in BB. This season might not be a total waste after all. My favorite part was Chenbot freaking out when everyone was talking over her. It was hysterical.
Oh yea and my boyfriend rewound the show 5 times and kept asking 'Who's the dude in the yellow shirt?' when all the evicted guests where on the porch. What was up with Parker's dp?
2 of 12 | Posted by mere2142 | Posted on March 13, 2008 8:15 PM
Tonight's episode has restored my faith in BB...this season might not totally suck afterall.
Chenbot freaking out over the people talking over her was priceless.
My boyfriend replayed all of the houseguests on the front porch and kept asking who the dude in the yellow shirt was because he didn't even recognize Parker.
3 of 12 | Posted by mere2142 | Posted on March 13, 2008 8:17 PM
alex's buuueeeennoo killed me.
i also love natalie. she's great tv.
i think if sharon was evicted alex would be in the house right now (no cbs box twist at all)
4 of 12 | Posted by nestofvipers | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:59 AM
Hey Schoonie, conjugate your verbs!
"There ARE sparkles and disco balls and unicorns."
Teehee ;-)
So, Adam and Nat totally boned it by voting James back in, right? While they still have the numbers on their side, what could be worse than a nerd herder scorned? "Mystery Contestant" would have totally been psyched just to have the opportunity to return.
5 of 12 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:41 AM
Loved the part when Natalie found out about Matty kissing Sharon. That whole sequence which ends with Matty eventually apologizing was fascinating. I didn't know there were people like Natalie in the world and then I looked in the mirror.
Josh will never stab Ryan in the back. Josh is to Ryan what Natalie is to Matty.
6 of 12 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 14, 2008 8:56 AM
I really hope other people noticed this: near the end of the show, when the houseguests were on their disco balls, there was a quick close-up camera shot of their hamster (or gerbil)!! It was a RIOT! It was when Julie was asking James something.
Did anyone else catch this?!
7 of 12 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 14, 2008 9:37 AM
Scarlet, I agree. It made no sense for Adam (and especially Natalie) to vote James back in, when they'd just voted him out. He obviously knew his only vote was from Chelsia. I bet Natalie is so dumb that she thought he wouldn't be mad at her since she voted to bring him back in.
I would much rather have seen Alex back in the house than James. Ryan's HOH week was basically useless and now he is going to be targeted unless Matt win HOH basically.
8 of 12 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on March 14, 2008 10:46 AM
You're right. Natalie is lovable because she's so vulnerable. Airhead, yes. Sweet, also yes. She was picked for the show precisely for those reasons.
Now, Chelsia has developed some serious jones for James, but how will she feel when she discovers he's a gay porn actor? I'd like to see THAT follow-up after the show! Frankly, with all the dangers involved in that profession, I think it was bad of CBS to pick him or not reveal the "guests" true professions before the show.
I honestly don't understand the thinking behind bringing James back in immediately after bouncing him out. Ryan was the only one with a justifiable reason to vote to bring him back, because he was afraid he may have been voting Jen away, but I can't see anyone else's earthly reason to do so.
Ah, well, this ship of fools continues on its merry way. Does anyone else think Matty is serously in the closet? NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT!
9 of 12 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:19 AM
I was pretty pissed that again they omitted something that happened. After the POV, Josh and James poured stuff over Nat's head. Pickle juice and water. And then Josh, of course, attacked her. So did Chelsia, and the stuff she said that day is one of the reasons she disgusts me. I won't even repeat it here.
Honestly I think they came up with the mystery box idea that day, after the contestants casted their votes and the producers knew James would be going home. Why not make more drama by giving him the chance to stay??
I would have loved to see Alex back =(
10 of 12 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:10 PM
That episode was a waste of my time. I intend to read solely the recap from this point forward!
I don't care how cute you all think Natalie is...she's an idiot! Her I.Q is comparable to a plant or a gerbil! If any of these idiots (Adam and Natalie) had some brains, they would have voted for the mystery houseguest. They had the numbers. If Alex was swarn in, he would have allied himself with the Matt and Ryan alliance.
I think its understood that none of these fools are playing the game properly or are playing the game at all!
You may all disagree; but, Chelsia, James, Joshua and Sharon are the new nerd herd!
11 of 12 | Posted by sowhat1234 | Posted on March 14, 2008 2:59 PM
You're so right Schoonie! Natalie IS Ralph Wiggum. I can totally picture her sad face as a train Valentine falls to the floor and she says, "But Matty, I choo-choo-choose you." So true, hilarious and kind of sad all at the same time.
12 of 12 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on March 15, 2008 4:58 PM