Tonight on Big Brother, everyone talks like an eight year old.
Post-nomination ceremony, thinks are typically tense. Dan has a dumb metaphor about being the mayor of a town in shambles, and it's dorkily dumb (and oddly endearing) just like everything Dan's done so far. How did I end up actually liking the closed-minded Republican? Steven tells us that his feelings were hurt after he was nominated, and he calls Jessie's reasons for nominating them BS. The sad thing is that to a normal person, "you didn't come up to my room" would be a BS reason, but to Jessie the ten-year-old, it makes perfect sense. Jessie then tells us about his favorite thing, which is Jessie. Jessie talks about how strong Jessie is, and how Jessie doesn't even have a target on Jessie's well-defined back, even though Jessie was nominated last week.
Up in the HOH room, Dan talks to Jessie about the nominations as Jessie tells Dan not to worry at all because Steven is definitely the one going home. Jessie stands there and talks like he's Don Corleone, because he seems to have forgotten that he's not going to be HOH next week and that he won't be immune forever. Man, I really, really want him to go home. Dan then tells Jessie that he's safe if Dan wins HOH, which I hope is not true. I'd like to think that Dan is the kind of guy to screw a man over when it benefits him. How awesome would it be if Jessie didn't even make the jury? I'm dreading his idiotic question already.
Meanwhile, Steven hides out in the 60s room reading the Bible when Angie walks in to comfort him. Steven tells her not to worry too much about him, because Angie will be next if someone on their side doesn't win HOH next week. He tells us again from the Diary Room how much it hurts his feelings when people want you out of the house. That's an unfortunate way to think, because everybody should want everybody else out of the house so that they can be the last one standing, of course. It's not personal.
In the spa room, Michelle paints Jessie's nails or something. Jessie asks Michelle if she "had higher expectations" for the people that she would be sharing a house with. That question tells you a lot about Jessie, who clearly thinks that everyone in the house is inferior to him both in brainpower and appearance. He would be wrong on both counts. Okay, so maybe it doesn't tell you anything you don't already know, but still: what a jerk. How is Michelle not offended? Anyway, Michelle is just like "Well, I would have liked to have a showmance" and then she tells us how much she enjoys hanging out with Jessie. So, I can add "terrible judge of character" to the list of Reasons Why I Don't Have High Hopes For Michelle, along with "looks like Amber when her back is turned".
Memphis (who is wearing a Memphis U hat, check out the irony!) tells us how there are eight people in the house who are running things right now. He wanders around the house wearing an idiotic hat, discussing with Jessie his ultimate plan of creating an alliance with Angie and Michelle to take to the end of the game. They decide to call it "Team Badass", which makes me even more sure that a more appropriate name would be "Team That Guy", as in "Don't be That Guy who has a moustache like an old prospector", and most importantly "Don't be That Guy who names his alliance 'Team Badass'".
Out in the backyard, Steven talks to Renny about what happened during Hurricane Katrina. Renny tells us that she didn't lose her house in the storm or anything, but she did lose quite a few of her possessions. I can only imagine the vast sea of wigs that were floating around the French Quarter for days afterwards, far as the eye can see.
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Comments (20)
Libra's already broken her word from the first episode that she's not the stereotypical crazy black woman on reality shows. Ekk.
1 of 20 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on July 23, 2008 9:19 AM
Sorry to dish on Libra again, but looking at all the ages of the contestants on the CBS Big Brother page shows that Libra (31) is the 4th OLDEST in the house behind Jerry (75), Renny (53) and Steven (35).
2 of 20 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on July 23, 2008 9:30 AM
Wait, Libra's only 31? DAMN. I would have guessed that she was like 40.
3 of 20 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:02 AM
"I think April may have slipped one in past the sensors. And that's not the only thing that's getting slipped in, from what I've heard!"
How clever you are to just slide (sorry) that in there. I wonder if they'll show anything about it on the show tonight...I think it could lead to the demise of what some people are calling the best player in the house...Guess we'll just have to wait and see.
4 of 20 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:18 AM
Renny's comment about "what does that imply" summed up the entire argument for me. Black, white, brown, old, gay, man, woman, what-the-f-ever...there are always differences in people. How you deal with those differences, pardon the word play, makes the difference. Had someone else said "we had two black players on our team, it would have been more fair to distribute it better" would have caused Libra to have a motherf-ing breakdown, as it should. The whore does not see how what she said was WRONG, period. For that, I have zero respect for her now.
5 of 20 | Posted by wattage | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:18 AM
Schoonie, great recap and I am so glad that someone else besides me noticed Memphis' disappearing mustache!! It made no sense because the scenes seemed to be pretty much in sequencial order, so it was making me crazy!! Nobody at work that watches it noticed that his mustache kept reappearing. Good job. I had a feeling that Michelle wasn't going to use the Veto, they always do that, make it look like they are and at the last moment don't. The Renny/Jerry/Libra fight was pretty funny especially that Keisha pretty much started it all and sat back innocently....
6 of 20 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:23 AM
Oh my gosh!!! I can't stand Jessie. If he says one more time, people think I'm a meathead but I'm so smart...I'm going to rip my hair out. You are a meathead. You do have a target on your back. The only reason people are being nice to you is because you are HoH. Just wait until you aren't.
Ugh...anyway. They really should have gotten Libra out. She really could be a threat. She is actually fairly smart. However, she is imploding, so maybe it would be best just to sit back and watch.
Anyhoho, great recap!
7 of 20 | Posted by jenday | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:37 AM
Team Badass???? More like Team Dumbass.
8 of 20 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 23, 2008 10:51 AM
Guess if I was there, I'd be toast, coz I said to avoid the old people in challenges too . . . whoopsie!!!!
Thanks Schoon, and Flip and Fozz for your lightning fast recaps this time around!!!! So fun to jump in with all the hot topics!
For me, I ain't hatin' on Libra, but she did have her mouth wide open for a lot of this episode, I actually think Jerry continues to slide, if I was 75 up against some 20 and 30 somethings, I would gladly own my age and limitations and not try to insist I was equal, nor would I call a young woman a bitch for stating the obvious! I was glad to see Renny get in on the action though!
Jessie is meh to me, guess he's not raising my ire as I could care, but I'm glad he's bringing out the hater in all of you!!!!
9 of 20 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 23, 2008 11:25 AM
Wouldn't it be just DELICIOUS if instead of winning a bunch of money at the end, it turned out they lied and instead the winner got a lifetime supply of TREET (fake-SPAM) and Corn-Nuts™? (and Diet Cherry 7-Up?) Then all the horrible things they do to each other would have all been for nothing!
And THEN, ha ha, PSYCHE! They really DID win a million dollars... in Zimbabwean dollars ($1 USD is currently valued at $495,932,559,520 ZD).
There'd be rioting.
love, J-Mo :)
10 of 20 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 23, 2008 1:00 PM
Wow, Steven is 35? He is so adorable. He looks much younger.
JustJesse can you elaborate on your comment at all or does that count as a spoiler? I assume you are referring to April and Ollie? Hard to believe either of them would be called the best player in the house though, they both seem useless to me.
11 of 20 | Posted by BRaps | Posted on July 23, 2008 1:36 PM
Okay, forget the disappearing mustache, what about the disappearing houseguest?
In the spirit of Where's Waldo?...
Where was Ollie?
12 of 20 | Posted by badassbtch | Posted on July 23, 2008 1:42 PM
Jerry: Look Libra, you liberal leaving baby abandoning no butt having sista, did you call me old?
Libra: Look JerryATRIC you civil war veteran sick wife leaving social security collecting early bird special getting 15% off on Monday's at Ross backstabbing pervert, no I did not
Jesse Bravo for the win! That would be all kinds of wrong and totally awesome. I predict that this will be the season with the least deserving winner. The game plan every week seems to be "form an alliance to get out anyone who is playing the game"
13 of 20 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 23, 2008 2:12 PM
I have a man crush on Schoonie for being so flat out funny, but, dude, "I am big. It's the pictures that got small."
Are you saving it, or is it too easy?
14 of 20 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 23, 2008 6:14 PM
Ollie's kind of faded out because apparently he's spending most of his time exploring his new life as a man (as opposed to his former life as virginal jesus-freak crushed by overbearing jesus-freak parents). What's going to be lots of fun is watching what happens to him when April dumps him -- she's going to move on, you just know she will.
They're going to have to do something to rescue this show. I mean, at this point, I prefer the clowns from the last season (technically Season 9A...this is 9B).
Although I am fascinated by the freak show that is jesse. I mean, isn't it cool that his personality so perfectly matches his freakishly shaped body and that awesome caricature that is his face? They really could build an entire cartoon series around this guy...the new Freakazoid. My kids would love it.
15 of 20 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 23, 2008 11:57 PM
So I know everyone is gaining on Libra but to be honest, he comments were taken out of proportion. IF you always had the old people on your team you would lose! And lets not forget that April blantly bitched that they always had the old people on their team.
If they balanced it out more often, than either of these geezers could have food for the week. Its really not a bad proposition.
And to remove Libra this early in the game would be a stupid move! She's not a threat! Steven is!
16 of 20 | Posted by sowhat1234 | Posted on July 24, 2008 6:08 AM
Sorry Sowhat1234, I disagree. Some challenges are physical, some mental. You could say the same for women, men who are not athletic, or people who are just plain stupid. You never know what a challenge is going to be, so trying to divide up the oldies is just as useless as trying to divide up the women evenly, etc.
17 of 20 | Posted by wattage | Posted on July 24, 2008 7:31 AM
Libra's only 31? I would have guessed 40, too! I guess black does crack.
18 of 20 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 24, 2008 8:31 AM
Uh, I would service Jessie's feet.
19 of 20 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on July 24, 2008 6:14 PM
Jessie - even his name sums it up. Jessie is a ridiculous name for a man, period.
20 of 20 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on July 27, 2008 7:23 AM