Watch CBS Videos Online

Angie

Schoonie: She actually seems kind of (dare I say it?) cool, which means that I will probably loathe her by week 2. Women's Guinness chugging champion? Check. Enjoys football? Check. Beats up people who make fun of her mentally handicapped brother? Check, although she's probably following Flipit around with a tire iron as we speak. Guinness is absolutely terrible, but any woman who wins a beer chugging contest automatically gets one free pass. Here's to Angie using it up immediately by inevitably saying something derogatory about the Jews!

FozzieBare: I immediately am distrustful of anyone who lists The Notebook as their favorite movie. And Asians. Now Angie, I see that you listed "fun things" as your favorite thing to do? Why is that? Is it their funocity of thingyness?

Flipit: Angie is in pharmaceutical sales, so I kinda like her right off the bat. Maybe the woman can get me some ephedra. Her smile is tight and big, and she wears a tiara in her get to know me video. Her personality seems chill and lighthearted, and not being able to judge her right away both worries and confuses me. Please say this year's twist won't be boring nice people with the potential for successful, happy lives. I don't even want to make fun of her mentally disabled brother, and I don't know if I can live with that.

Brian

FozzieBare: Brian still owes me money for our failed flatiron franchise. Telecommunications Account Manager? "Hello Sir or Madam as the case may be. How many times have you said, 'gee my phone smells?' With our revolutionary phone cleaning product you can virtually elimina....hello?"

Flipit: Brian describes himself as "a guy's guy" who watches a lot of sports and reads Men's Health. Did you date Teri Hatcher too, ya big girl? This guy screams Seacrest. He says that if he could choose any political office, it would be Vice President, and I hope I get to meet him one day so I can ask him to spell potato. He says the words "Air Force" and "tough Italian" lots in his bio, and he mentions that his sisters told him not to have sex while on TV. Smooth. He's already come up with an excuse not to go near an actual woman this summer. Pros? He looks like he put a bunch of gel in his hair and spent an hour in the bathroom with a blow dryer before falling asleep on the couch while waiting for his turn with the photographer.

Schoonie: Brian still reads Maxim, apparently. I bet he's not really going to be thrown off when he finds out that the twist is that everyone has to pretend that it's 2002. He's also involved in "several entrepreneurial ventures", and we know what that means: he owns a piece of Mike Boogie's restaurant, just like everyone else that's been on this show, EVER.

Memphis

Flipit: My brother in law had a sweet dog named Memphis who died of leukemia, so when I saw this "mixologist" my first reaction was "aaaaw!" Then I remembered that that dog always smelled funny and never brought a ball back in his life. Memphis sports a faux hawk (please just let that hair cut die, people) and says that he seems all nice and laid back until the door closes. Then, he's on the inside and we're on the outside. This one's a thinker. Is it too soon to call this the smartest cast ever?

Schoonie: Okay, so something awesome just happened to me. Please do the following, right now:

Step 1: Go to Wikipedia.

Step 2: Type 'mixologist' into the search field.

...
...
...
You back?

AWESOME, right?

I think that about covers it. Shove it, Memphis.

FozzieBare: A Memphis in California? What's next a New York in Georgia or a Paris in Beverly Hills? I mean....Seriou....ya know. *Gulp.* Is this thing on? His picture looks like somebody Photoshopped Corey Haim's head onto my Aunt Mary Jo's Glamour Shot.

April

« Big Brother Countdown: Four Days Left! | Main | The Bachelorette: The Men Hate DeAnna »

Posted in Big Brother by Flipit, Schoonie, and FozzieBare at 5:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: wincha on Jul 13, 2008 01:18 PM.