Flipit: Libra "recently gave birth to a medical rarity... 4-month old twins, one black and one white." She gave birth to four month olds? It's official. Libra has the biggest vagina ever. I am holding back judgement on this one, because like her hero, Obama, she says a lot and I still have no idea what she stands for.
FozzieBare: She gave birth to twins, one black and one white? How can she get away with that but when my mom gave birth to a black baby my dad got so pissed?
Schoonie: Think about how much fun that will be for them in college. It's like the world's coolest party trick.
FozzieBare: Donde es Libra? En la bibliotecca. Those Spanish classes are finally paying off!
Steven
FozzieBare: What the hell is a geographic consultant? I think that means he gives directions at the gas station where he works.
Flipit: I would like to thank Allison Grodner for putting a boner fide hot gay guy on BB. If Jake Gyllenhall looked like this, I think Heath Ledger would have totally married him. That said, Steven spends a lot of time in his video and bio talking about how hot everyone thinks he is and then mentions his one eyed dog. I am officially uncomfortable.
Schoonie: Steven is a gay cowboy. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that either Flipit or Fozzie have already made a Brokeback Mountain joke, and: everyone gets one, and one only. I'm afraid that I must be strict about this.
Flipit: Darn. I'm cut off.
FozzieBare: Not me. Gay cowboys are so two years ago. Gay blacksmiths are the new "it" boys.
Schoonie: On a side note, I'm just really hoping that he eats pudding sometime during the course of the season.
Renny
FozzieBare: She looks like a 1920s flapper. Twenty-eight scadoo! Anybody else wanna bet she's gonna whip out a penis around week three?
Schoonie: Renny looks like a drag queen, but is actually not. She says she has outfits and wigs for all social occasions, which (again) makes her sort of like a drag queen. However, I'm willing to be that she ends up being the coolest one in the house. She's that aunt in every family who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and starts talking to the house pets.
Flipit: Shirley McLaine!!! OMG did she die because this is so Out On Limb. Even her bio pic looks like the Sweet Charity poster. I cannot say anything bad about this woman. I pledge my undying love to Renny. LOVELOVELOVE.
Dan
Flipit: Dan is an openly misogynistic right wing Catholic School Teacher. Come on, guys, openly misogynistic right wing Catholic School teachers are people, too. "He doesn't think that America would have been ready for a female president and if Hillary Clinton had won the presidency, he would have moved out of the country." Can we re-vote?
FozzieBare: Dan looks like that greaser, bad-boy, conservative, Catholic School teacher that mom warned you about. I think I would have moved out of the country if Hilary had won too. Not because she's a woman, but because I don't need someone to whom I owe money with that much power.
Schoonie: Dan is an asshole. I think that about covers it.
Keesha
Schoonie: Keesha looks like Daniele, works at Hooters like Daniele, and will hopefully replace Daniele in every form and fashion after this, like the Talented Mr. Ripley of Big Brother. If Keesha were just to Eternal Sunshine the memory of Daniele right out of my brain, I would be cool with that.
FozzieBare: I think Danielle just put on 40 pounds and changed her name to get back on the show. I love anyone whose loftiest aspiration is to move from Hooters hostess to Hooters night manager.
Flipit: Keesha thinks she will do well in the game because all the backstabbing, manipulation and drama is exactly how it is at Hooters. All About Skeeve. Her proudest accomplishment is moving to LA "without knowing a sole". Poor thing's feet must be a blistery mess by now. Keesha is a fucking moron, and I think I love her.
Jessie
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Comments (12)
Oh boy, am I the first to comment. I don't completely watch this shoe but I LOVE THE RECAPS. And this review shows me why. You guys are totally awesome. I love everything about you guys. Can't wait for the show to start.
1 of 12 | Posted by Bremm | Posted on July 9, 2008 9:26 AM
"His bio says he is a preacher's son from "The Black Brady Bunch". Oh, Jan. Rerun's hat makes you look fat."
Dear Flipit, where shall I send the bill for my keyboard? It won't work with all the spit out coke everywhere
I will do like I always do, don't ever watch the show but read the recaps and spoilers from the ppl who actually subscribe to the live feed. I'm disappointed, I was hoping there would be a Ninja in the cast. Ninja's are so underrepresented on television. America is ANTI-NINJA!
2 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 9, 2008 10:16 AM
Now that you mention it, ninjas are woefully underrepresented on American reality television. Racists!
3 of 12 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 9, 2008 10:33 AM
well, I'm disappointed there's no hunk of burning love (or chunk, as some might say) for my eye candy, and therefore, I'm luke on the viewing-I do think I'll watch the first epi so I'm more intune with the recaps I WILL be reading!!! 3 of my favorite gasm cappers, I'm there!!!
I didn't watch the video's, but I'm with you Flipit, I think I'm in love with Renny!!!
4 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 9, 2008 12:17 PM
Who names these people? Libra? Memphis? Ollie? Renny? It's like a bad nighttime soap opera.
Here are my quick impressions:
Ollie has a completely fake smile. So does Brian, who seems to think his dimples are the key to life.
Michelle is not nearly as cute as she thinks she is.
April has the pointiest chin ever grown.
Memphis looks like a Mike Boogie wannabe (why would anyone want to be?) with a better vocabulary.
Keesha...buy a hairbrush.
Dan is either A.) there to fight with Steven or B.) going to be Steven's new BFF.
Jessie's head is too small for his body. I'm betting his brain is, too.
Libra is a way for CBS to give plenty of free airtime to the Democratic Savior, Barack Hussein Obama. I'll beat the rush, and just start hating her now.
Renny thinks she's auditioning for Gypsy.
It's gonna be an...interesting season.
5 of 12 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 9, 2008 2:46 PM
well, this has probably been mentioned somewhere, but this season is obviously about people who are Politically/socially/sexually/racially/etc. polar opposists. We have "staunch" conservatives and liberals, gay cowboys, anti-this, pro-that...I'm sensing the season will focus a lot on these issues.
Should be interesting.
6 of 12 | Posted by serjen | Posted on July 9, 2008 3:52 PM
It was very funny to read. I like Steven the gay cowboy.
Wish there was a big beefy guy to lust after.
On a scale of 1 to 10 I give the cast a "4" for overall sex appeal.
Can't they just do a GUY BIG BROTHER and get rid of all the icky girls?
7 of 12 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on July 9, 2008 4:14 PM
I am looking forward to watching BB again after boycotting the BS that was Season 9.
8 of 12 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 9, 2008 6:38 PM
Ohhh I love these people already! And by love I mean I already know who I am gonna hate! God bless the geezer, who wants to bet he and the gay cowboy become besties?
Can't wait for the recaps from FliFozzSchoo!
9 of 12 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on July 9, 2008 7:01 PM
Can't wait!! Especially looking forward to the recaps, AGAIN!
10 of 12 | Posted by EZ Rider | Posted on July 10, 2008 2:54 PM
I will be the first to predict - bizarre love triangle between Dan, Steven and Jessie!
The movie in my head is rolling....
11 of 12 | Posted by krut | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:25 AM
Great Recap!
I hope these morons(I mean hamsters) are just as funny as your recaps.
One gal is leaving her 4 month ole twins. Somebody doesn' t like mommyhood and wants to get away as long as she can!
12 of 12 | Posted by wincha | Posted on July 13, 2008 1:18 PM