Libra and Ollie come up to the HOH room and join them. Keesha wants to get rid of Angie for letting her cowmo hang out to dry, and everyone agrees with her and suggests Angie go on the block with her butt buddy Memphis to take his vote away. Libra rolls her head and says "That's a no brainer honey". Keesha smiles and nods, but tells us that she's planning on possibly putting Libra up. I am not liking all these maybe's and possibly's. I'm not saying I want to see Libra go. I actually want her to stay, and I want her to be really pissed off. I'm not watching this for my health here.
Memphis comes up to the suite and for some reason, Keesha uses the time in front of everyone to tell Memphis that Angie's going up. He says that Angie told him she was only going to put up the people that the group of eight agreed on if she won, Dan and Jerry, but his words are useless against Keesha's cute old people and West Side Story theory. Angie and Renny come into the room and Keesha asks them to give her five minutes. OUCH. Renny just goes back to her room to practice the box step while moving forward so she doesn't get run down by her traveling band when she gets home, but Angie knows that she's being talked about, and she's freaking out. She finds Jessie and Michelle, but they're no help. Jessie is staring at his biceps and Michelle's cooking herself in the sauna waiting for him to come in and realize that he's completely in love with her. Their minds are occupied.
Whattaya cryin' to me for? I'm gonna die alone in this glass box.
Memphis tells Keesha that if it was him he wouldn't put someone up on the block on suspicion alone and she should talk to Angie and settle things. Keesha doesn't agree to that and asks him to not repeat the conversation to anyone. Of course he walks right to the relaxation room and tells Jessie and Michelle that Angie's in trouble. But ya didn't hear it here! Jessie contorts his face like "of course not!" and then makes out with the under side of his elbow.
Catholic Dan goes up to the HOH suite to find Keesha alone and tells her that he doesn't have any alliances and will give her his allegiance if she asks for it. He doesn't have to say much, though, cuz Keesha is fawning over him and telling him how much she likes him. She can trust him, he's from the midwest!
Even the serial killers have a sense of humor in the midwest!
She tells him the plan was for him to go on the block this week, but she'll save him if he does her the same favor later on. He keeps giving her the hard sell like he's at a very important job interview and she keeps cutting him off like "alright. You got the job. Put on the uniform already. Those Quarter Pounders aren't gonna flip themselves."
Next, she goes to find Libra and sits her down, saying that she got the feeling that Libra wasn't having her before she won the HOH comp. Libra, instead of getting riled up and screaming, admits it. Letdown! Boooooo! Keesha says that she told Libra everything and didn't like that she was being made a target. Libra doesn't deny that either (?? WTF Libra? Did someone feed you or what?) and shakily stutters that she was targeting her relationship with Steven and would totally understand if she had to go on the block. At first this seems like a completely idiotic move, but it calms Keesha down. She laughs and good naturedly tells Libra that she needs to watch her mouth or it's gonna make her a target. Forgiveness and good advice? What is this? Laverne and Shirley? Someone needs to get scratched soon. I'm getting bored.
Later, Libra, Keesha, April and Michelle chill in the VW room and wonder aloud what the food competition will be. April hopes it's not eating pig's feet. Michelle says that she would kick ass if that was the challenge cuz she loves pigs feet. She also likes pig's ears and cow intestines. No, not because she's a Satan worshipper, because she's Portuguese. There is silence and everyone gets a calm look on their face, like they're finally all realizing at the same time why Michelle's burps are so wrong.
That story instantly aged April by a decade.
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Comments (17)
I have a feeling we're headed for another season 9. Didn't Grodner learn anything last go-round? These people are getting to be beyond stupid. And I had high hopes for Jerry, but he's turning out to be a weird old ex-military fart.
1 of 17 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on July 28, 2008 6:18 AM
Awesome, hilarious recap!!!
(I won't mention that Keesha didn't win the license plate veto, Michelle did; Keesha won the alien HOH comp)
I was so psyched that Jessie went up on the block, yay! I didn't think Michelle could disgust me more, and then came the pig's feet. No wonder she can handle Jessie's feet. Ugh, if those two have a "showmance" I will have to rip my eyes out of my head.
I am still kind of hoping that Libra gets backdoored this week. Or any week for that matter.
2 of 17 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on July 28, 2008 6:49 AM
If we're gonna f**k on national television, let's do it on the floor so I don't look like I'll just crawl into bed with anyone, k?
>>>>I think we need this on a billboard here in the Valley of the Sun.
These two are nuts and Ollie's dad is going to smack him in the back of the head.
The feeds are showing many more fights than the show which I don't understand.
These people are mildly entertaining but on a 24/7 screen.... it gets long... and it is only like what? Week three?
Nice recap Flipit......
your speed is impressing me, what have you changed? Stopped drinking? Smoking?
Something is up!
3 of 17 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:19 AM
April and Ollie - Please God, use protection if you two end up screwing. Listening to those two talk about construction signs and Chicken Soup for the Soul books made my head hurt.
Jessie is an epic douche for going up to the HOH and berating Keesha. Why not slap her on the ass and call her sugar tits while you're at it?
4 of 17 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:32 AM
It'd be awesome if Keesha turned out to be another Jannelle (i.e., smarter than everyone else in the house), but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen.
Dan seems to be hard of hearing--why is he always yelling at the camera? I get the feeling they're having a little joke on him, insisting he talk REALLY LOUD because there's a problem with the mike.
I'd hate to see Jesse go...I'm convinced that if he stays in the pressure cooker long enough, he's going to freak out and do something awesomely stupid. Please don't take that pleasure away from me.
Here's hoping this is just a way of back-dooring Libra.
But then, these people play the game even worse than last season.
Ollie's just floatin'. What a dork. Can't wait until he dumps April. Next week?
5 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 28, 2008 10:00 AM
thanks for the heads up, loiseau! it's fixed now. i get my useless challenges confused easily. xo
6 of 17 | Posted by flipit | Posted on July 28, 2008 10:18 AM
"Don't worry, Jer, he wasn't wearing a military uniform when he said it so it's totally ok." I think this may have been my favorite line in the whole recap. Totally had me cracking up! Then again, this was pretty funny too..."Let me put this in girl language for you. Blah blah shoes blah Libra blah I have my period. Got it, dingbat?" Can't wait to see what the next two shows bring. :-)
7 of 17 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on July 28, 2008 11:21 AM
Actually, wouldn't it be nice to see Jessie so desperate at one point that he gives in to said shomance with PigsFeet!!! I'm sure he sees her as sooo beneath him, and in their case, I hope she chews the tip off that prophylactic and traps him in her dead breath for life!!!
I did think it was funny when Jerry said, "He didn't just call the girls bitches, he called us all bitches" That's right bitch!
I'm glad weeepy cowmo is gone!
Thanks again Flippy for the lighting cap, and I can't believe giffordsaz could suggest it's less drinking . . . i'm just sayin' HEART
8 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 28, 2008 11:46 AM
Steven's probably drunkenly cheering Keesha on right now, but I think this will bite her it the ass later on. If April goes, Jesse will be gunning for her and vice versa. It doesn't seem too smart, oh wait now it makes more sense.....
9 of 17 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on July 28, 2008 11:53 AM
Ick!! Did anybody see the naked photos of Jesse on tmz.com? My eyes, my eyes...
10 of 17 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on July 28, 2008 12:12 PM
I don't know what the hell he's saying but it's cute that he finally has some screen time and sweet to find out why it's so rare. What a Gump.
CAN'T.STOP.LAUGHING. POOR BORING Goal Weight Rerun(GWR), bless his heart. At least he is not a bandanna wearing tool (Dan), an old tool (JerryAtric), a roid tool (Jessie; who has a body like Yogi and a head like Boo Boo), or a tool in a cool hat who I would find attractive were he not on Big Brother (Memphis). Also GWR reminds me of the guy who is really smart in the "hood" so the gang members respect him and don't mess with him but then there is a shoot out in the neighborhood and he gets killed and the gang member sets out for revenge but finds his soul along the way and goes to church and puts his gun int the collection plate starring at least 2 of the members of B2K and angry bald guy from Jason's Lyric
11 of 17 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 28, 2008 2:05 PM
Um, I am of the opinion that Jerry IS a bitch, so I think the word was fitting.
Jessie is a sad, annoying douche. It makes me smile to think how people will react to him when he gets out!!! Get ready for a freak out on TMZ at some random LA club. Ha!
12 of 17 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 28, 2008 2:49 PM
I think I saw that movie Fayellis1 haha.
13 of 17 | Posted by eightyschica | Posted on July 28, 2008 4:51 PM
Love jessie's girlspeak.. LOL.. and was that a freudian thing, saying that Renny tells Jessie she's like her daughter?
I was amused at ollie basically petting april's head absently like you would a small dog or cat.
Not liking Jessie anymore. It would be fun to see him in the weeks to come, though..
14 of 17 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on July 28, 2008 6:28 PM
itchy, I, too, noticed how Dan seems to always be on volume 10. It drives me nuts! Well...if it IS because he's a bit hard of hearing, it explains why he couldn't understand Renny's screeching. hee hee
15 of 17 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:40 PM
Dan is the new Zach. He will make it far because everyone is so busy fighting and scheming against each other, they barely notice that he pledges his allegiance to anyone with a really big stupid key around their neck
16 of 17 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 29, 2008 7:34 AM
"Renny tells us that she thinks of Jessie as her daughter"
BEST TYPO EVER!
I think they need to stop feeding libra again. Nobody on this show is crazy enough yet.
17 of 17 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on July 29, 2008 8:47 AM