Michelle goes on to share an anecdote about going to a Portuguese Day celebration. It's like Lebanese day, but slightly louder and hairier. She was walking around checking out the goat snout belt buckles when she smelled something funny. Turns out it was two dead pigs dressed as bride and groom hanging from their necks. A couple of guys took them down and started dancing across the floor with them. She recreates the dance, complete with a dip, and Keesha is horrified. She informs Michelle that pigs have the intelligence of three year old children and that story is sick. LOL. No one can come up with anything else to say, but I for one will never think of three year old children the same again.
"So. You're single?"
Time for food competition! The game is to dress like a waiter at Johnny Rockets and pick matching socks out of a laundry basket while standing on opposite sides of a wall and rotating on giant records. I don't know if one sentence is enough to really capture the intricacies of this challenge, but it's all I'm willing to give it. Michelle and Jessie partner up first and they describe the socks to each other well. April and Goal Weight Rerun are next, and they take forever. April blames Rerun for "not listening to meeee", which he will probably hear for as long as he does her. Anyway, if he had listened, he would be looking for a sock that's ten different colors and shapes, because April doesn't seem to know what "red" or "stripes" look like.
Black! Giraffe! Square!
Jerry and Libra pair up, and Libra kinda bitchily says that she did it to work together and smooth over their big fight. Describing a sock as white with rainbows on it may not be easy, but saying sorry is way harder. What is wrong with these bird brains? Libra just keeps screaming rainbow red white sock. Jerry luckily grabs the right one and gets it on their food item, but it takes him awhile to figure out how to get off the rotating record.
Where the f am I?
Renny, who kinda reminds me of Kathleen Turner in Peggy Sue Got Married as a forty year old who got a chance to go back in time to remember the days when Nicolas Cage wasn't all creepy and hair plugged. She shouts out that she found an orange and yellow sock with a chicken on it, but the girls on her side keep yelling like she's doing something wrong. They want her to describe it better and she's like how many fucking socks can be yellow and orange with a chicken on it? Those young bitches need to get schooled. Renny deserves points for not mooning them and calling them young punks. When it's her next turn, Dad shouts that he can't understand what she's screeching and then she tells her team to shut up so he can hear. Then it turns out Dan just can't hear period and can't tell if they are shouting "drinks" or "meats". Dan's doing a great job of keeping with that dumb strategy. The problem according to April is that no one's liiiiistening!! April seems to grapple with feeling disrespected a lot, and I just can't imagine where that comes from.
If we're gonna f**k on national television, let's do it on the floor so I don't look like I'll just crawl into bed with anyone, k?
April tells us what a mess Renny is (and she's not wrong) and then proceeds to not be able to find a matching sock with Rerun. She starts screaming and jumping up and down like someone told her she'd never get an Oompa Loompa. The timer goes off and she throws down her sock and scowels like Michelle just burped in her face. The only socks that didn't match were a pair of Renny and Dan's because everyone told them just to put anything on the board so they wouldn't have to listen to Renny screech any more. Renny is not amused that this cost her her wine for the week.
You can call me old, you can call me slow. But you take my wine and you're gonna pay MOTHAFU**AS!
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Comments (17)
I have a feeling we're headed for another season 9. Didn't Grodner learn anything last go-round? These people are getting to be beyond stupid. And I had high hopes for Jerry, but he's turning out to be a weird old ex-military fart.
1 of 17 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on July 28, 2008 6:18 AM
Awesome, hilarious recap!!!
(I won't mention that Keesha didn't win the license plate veto, Michelle did; Keesha won the alien HOH comp)
I was so psyched that Jessie went up on the block, yay! I didn't think Michelle could disgust me more, and then came the pig's feet. No wonder she can handle Jessie's feet. Ugh, if those two have a "showmance" I will have to rip my eyes out of my head.
I am still kind of hoping that Libra gets backdoored this week. Or any week for that matter.
2 of 17 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on July 28, 2008 6:49 AM
If we're gonna f**k on national television, let's do it on the floor so I don't look like I'll just crawl into bed with anyone, k?
>>>>I think we need this on a billboard here in the Valley of the Sun.
These two are nuts and Ollie's dad is going to smack him in the back of the head.
The feeds are showing many more fights than the show which I don't understand.
These people are mildly entertaining but on a 24/7 screen.... it gets long... and it is only like what? Week three?
Nice recap Flipit......
your speed is impressing me, what have you changed? Stopped drinking? Smoking?
Something is up!
3 of 17 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:19 AM
April and Ollie - Please God, use protection if you two end up screwing. Listening to those two talk about construction signs and Chicken Soup for the Soul books made my head hurt.
Jessie is an epic douche for going up to the HOH and berating Keesha. Why not slap her on the ass and call her sugar tits while you're at it?
4 of 17 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:32 AM
It'd be awesome if Keesha turned out to be another Jannelle (i.e., smarter than everyone else in the house), but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen.
Dan seems to be hard of hearing--why is he always yelling at the camera? I get the feeling they're having a little joke on him, insisting he talk REALLY LOUD because there's a problem with the mike.
I'd hate to see Jesse go...I'm convinced that if he stays in the pressure cooker long enough, he's going to freak out and do something awesomely stupid. Please don't take that pleasure away from me.
Here's hoping this is just a way of back-dooring Libra.
But then, these people play the game even worse than last season.
Ollie's just floatin'. What a dork. Can't wait until he dumps April. Next week?
5 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 28, 2008 10:00 AM
thanks for the heads up, loiseau! it's fixed now. i get my useless challenges confused easily. xo
6 of 17 | Posted by flipit | Posted on July 28, 2008 10:18 AM
"Don't worry, Jer, he wasn't wearing a military uniform when he said it so it's totally ok." I think this may have been my favorite line in the whole recap. Totally had me cracking up! Then again, this was pretty funny too..."Let me put this in girl language for you. Blah blah shoes blah Libra blah I have my period. Got it, dingbat?" Can't wait to see what the next two shows bring. :-)
7 of 17 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on July 28, 2008 11:21 AM
Actually, wouldn't it be nice to see Jessie so desperate at one point that he gives in to said shomance with PigsFeet!!! I'm sure he sees her as sooo beneath him, and in their case, I hope she chews the tip off that prophylactic and traps him in her dead breath for life!!!
I did think it was funny when Jerry said, "He didn't just call the girls bitches, he called us all bitches" That's right bitch!
I'm glad weeepy cowmo is gone!
Thanks again Flippy for the lighting cap, and I can't believe giffordsaz could suggest it's less drinking . . . i'm just sayin' HEART
8 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 28, 2008 11:46 AM
Steven's probably drunkenly cheering Keesha on right now, but I think this will bite her it the ass later on. If April goes, Jesse will be gunning for her and vice versa. It doesn't seem too smart, oh wait now it makes more sense.....
9 of 17 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on July 28, 2008 11:53 AM
Ick!! Did anybody see the naked photos of Jesse on tmz.com? My eyes, my eyes...
10 of 17 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on July 28, 2008 12:12 PM
I don't know what the hell he's saying but it's cute that he finally has some screen time and sweet to find out why it's so rare. What a Gump.
CAN'T.STOP.LAUGHING. POOR BORING Goal Weight Rerun(GWR), bless his heart. At least he is not a bandanna wearing tool (Dan), an old tool (JerryAtric), a roid tool (Jessie; who has a body like Yogi and a head like Boo Boo), or a tool in a cool hat who I would find attractive were he not on Big Brother (Memphis). Also GWR reminds me of the guy who is really smart in the "hood" so the gang members respect him and don't mess with him but then there is a shoot out in the neighborhood and he gets killed and the gang member sets out for revenge but finds his soul along the way and goes to church and puts his gun int the collection plate starring at least 2 of the members of B2K and angry bald guy from Jason's Lyric
11 of 17 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 28, 2008 2:05 PM
Um, I am of the opinion that Jerry IS a bitch, so I think the word was fitting.
Jessie is a sad, annoying douche. It makes me smile to think how people will react to him when he gets out!!! Get ready for a freak out on TMZ at some random LA club. Ha!
12 of 17 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 28, 2008 2:49 PM
I think I saw that movie Fayellis1 haha.
13 of 17 | Posted by eightyschica | Posted on July 28, 2008 4:51 PM
Love jessie's girlspeak.. LOL.. and was that a freudian thing, saying that Renny tells Jessie she's like her daughter?
I was amused at ollie basically petting april's head absently like you would a small dog or cat.
Not liking Jessie anymore. It would be fun to see him in the weeks to come, though..
14 of 17 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on July 28, 2008 6:28 PM
itchy, I, too, noticed how Dan seems to always be on volume 10. It drives me nuts! Well...if it IS because he's a bit hard of hearing, it explains why he couldn't understand Renny's screeching. hee hee
15 of 17 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on July 28, 2008 7:40 PM
Dan is the new Zach. He will make it far because everyone is so busy fighting and scheming against each other, they barely notice that he pledges his allegiance to anyone with a really big stupid key around their neck
16 of 17 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 29, 2008 7:34 AM
"Renny tells us that she thinks of Jessie as her daughter"
BEST TYPO EVER!
I think they need to stop feeding libra again. Nobody on this show is crazy enough yet.
17 of 17 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on July 29, 2008 8:47 AM