James tells us that it's sad seeing someone you pretend to be a heterosexual for act like a raging bitch and he plans on voting against her. He also says that she's ruining his game, which is hilarious because he really sounds like he believes that he has game. Dude you were just nominated AGAIN after acting like a huge dick all week. You're lucky you don't have a gag reflex. And so is every "actor" you've ever worked with.
ChenChen is wearing a flesh colored number from Contempo Casuals tonight, which is a bad move as it makes her pored rubber look even faker. Where's Gunnbot when you need him?
This looks hammered and nailed to me. Hammered and nailed to me. Hammered an nailed to me.
Chen says hi to the HGs gathered for the vote and asks Moose about his favorite baby food. He doesn't get it, so she clarifies her "joke" and he doesn't get it again and then blames his mom for sending the baby food in a care package because she wants him to stay a virgin so he will be home forever to take care of her instead of running off with some harlot.
Clips of Evel Dick and his skanky ass. The bot asks Sheila if she wants to bone him and she says hell yeah, she's already had chlamidya and all the hepatitises so she's ready to get all up in that. Sorry, hon. I saw him at the Fox Reality Awards and his date was like twelve. But thanks for stripping away the last shred of respect I had for you. It made me uncomfortable anyway.
Next question is for Nat. Are you still psycho and will you kill Matty Poo when you get out of the house and he rejects your advances? Yes and yes. Then a joke about Matt having eight letters in his last name to which Nat responds "I keep my secrets to myself, Julie!" Nat seems confident and coherent tonight, and I don't think I like that color on her.
Just in case you're not completely engrossed and fascinated by this episode yet, Sharon tells the bot that if she gets evicted she wants Nat to take care of her "beebeeees!!!" Those poor guinea pigs. If Richard Gere drove up right now they'd jump in his car and never look back. I know that's an old one, but it has never ceased to entertain me.
Until this moment, I have refused to refer to this week's HOH as anything but Moose, but since this is his episode, I will make an exception. And now, for The Ballad of Baller, as told by his mother and brother.
There once was a sweet big boned boy with giant eyes that popped out of his head. He was five feet when he came out of the womb, and his mother still looks like she is in pain to this very day. Before he learned to walk around in his big oaf-y body, Baller started to babble nonsensically. Soon, realizing that something went very very wrong in the gene pool, his family started attributing false information to his blubbering so that they could convince themselves that what the kid was saying was brilliant. Unfortunately, this led to Baller's brother hearing "mwahdadak" as "Get the gayest, most out of fashion faux hawk you can" and his mother heard "lgbeedskks" as "mommy, please thwart any chance I might someday have of getting laid by sending me baby food in a care package on national TV and referring to me as Rain Man.
The end.
Before break, Hobo Hank tells us that Chelsia is like the Titanic and "her antics don't look good on me". Neither does anything else, but you still get dressed in the morning. He says that she's bringing him down, which is hilarious since she's getting voted out because she helped bring him back. This guy? CHARMER. He's right about one thing. He aligned with one sick bitch.
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Comments (26)
omg.....i am now on team Natalie. I saw it coming but wow! Go Nat!
1 of 26 | Posted by mistichristi | Posted on March 27, 2008 7:24 AM
ha what a perfect episode for Team Nat! Chelsea still gets the dream edit though because she was far worse then they showed. although so were josh and james at one pt not that you'd know it from the cbs show. j/j on the block this week for sure!! haha!
2 of 26 | Posted by nestofvipers | Posted on March 27, 2008 8:14 AM
This is funniest recap I ever read, I couldn't stop laughing.
Yes, I am Team Natalie now, she's still the most ridicolous person on this show, but she's probably the most likable one too. I would root for Ryan but that racist thing always gets me.
3 of 26 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 27, 2008 8:14 AM
Chel - SEE YA! I couldn't stand her from the get-go.
GO NAT GO!
4 of 26 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on March 27, 2008 8:21 AM
You know things are bad when even Hobo Hank doesn't want to be associated with you!!! I am routing for Ryan right now. I just don't believe that racist thing. I think Jen just talks out of her ass.
You crack me up, Flipit!!!
5 of 26 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on March 27, 2008 9:34 AM
Great recap Flipit!! I love Natalie. She is just so HUMAN. I love watching her figuring out all her clues. At least she tries. So glad to see "C" go and I do not mean Chelsia. Has this creature taken a good luck in the mirror lately? She has some nerve calling other people names and putting them down. What an immature child. The show tonight showed that. She did the deed for all of TV world to see and with JAMES..YUCK !! I am pulling for Team Nat to go all the way. Good bye Joshua I hope, he is just another nasty person.
6 of 26 | Posted by Rvrctylady | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:01 AM
Great recap Flipit!! I love Natalie. She is just so HUMAN. I love watching her figuring out all her clues. At least she tries. So glad to see "C" go and I do not mean Chelsia. Has this creature taken a good luck in the mirror lately? She has some nerve calling other people names and putting them down. What an immature child. The show tonight showed that. She did the deed for all of TV world to see and with JAMES..YUCK !! I am pulling for Team Nat to go all the way. Good bye Joshua I hope, he is just another nasty person.
7 of 26 | Posted by Rvrctylady | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:01 AM
Great recap Flipit!! I love Natalie. She is just so HUMAN. I love watching her figuring out all her clues. At least she tries. So glad to see "C" go and I do not mean Chelsia. Has this creature taken a good luck in the mirror lately? She has some nerve calling other people names and putting them down. What an immature child. The show tonight showed that. She did the deed for all of TV world to see and with JAMES..YUCK !! I am pulling for Team Nat to go all the way. Good bye Joshua I hope, he is just another nasty person.
8 of 26 | Posted by Rvrctylady | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:03 AM
OOPS!! sorry for the triple comment. Computer at work is going crazy today.
9 of 26 | Posted by Rvrctylady | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:07 AM
I kind of felt bad for Adam's mom because you know his family knows he was fired, but they can't say a thing. So instead they talk up all his good deeds to try and redeem him, but in the meantime call him Rain Man lol.
I am so happy the C is dead. Her outburst was laughable, but she probably thought she was just so cool. She's only 21 and needs to desperately grow up. And, yes Nat may not be that bright, but telling someone that they need an education is lame. At least she's doing something with her life, and doesn't fall for skanky hobos.
If Josh or James leave this week I'll be very happy.
GO NAT GO!!!!
10 of 26 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:19 AM
Why does every picture of Nat look like she's absolutely bat-shit crazy? Oh wait...I know why.
11 of 26 | Posted by wattage | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:24 AM
The rode hard and put away wet comment totally went over Sheila's head. I was watching the live feeds last night after the show and she was whining about it saying that it must be something those biker-bar-type-people must say. James just sat at the table shaking his head and smiling. For anyone else who don't know, it's an equestrian phrase. When you give a horse a good workout ride, they salivate profusely. If you don't give them a cool-down, that's known as being put away wet. The phrase has transformed into a sexual euphamism. Oh! Those biker bar people!
12 of 26 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 27, 2008 11:00 AM
Was Sheila really in Penthouse? I thought she was being funny when she said that. LOVED-LOVED-LOVED the comment about Sheila and finishing school. HAAAAAAAA!!!!
Did anyone else notice that Adam's brother looked like Mike "The Miz" from REAL WORLD: New York? I was wondering if Coral was going to show up as his "sister". I was so repulsed when Adam came out of his bedroom adjusting his junk. He is a disgusting ogre.
Did anyone else notice Joshuah jumping like a baby when Evel Dick came into their room? He's a tool.
13 of 26 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on March 27, 2008 1:15 PM
GREAT RECAP.
These people are all so unlikeable!! And unworthy!! They don't even play the friggin' game. I'm sorry, but just because Nat was brutalized by the Biatch Chelsea, I do not have amnesia that she was handing out BJs and remains absolutely delusional that she is in a "relationship" with Matt. NATALIE, THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHED YOUR HEAD BOBBING on night 2! Stop with the bible thumping already. I'm pretty sure Jesus isn't down with the BJs!
I'm gonna have to start rooting (half heartedly) for Sharon. Yes. I said it...Sharon. Ryan would get my vote, but his awful girlfriend Jen would benefit if he won, and my next choice is Adam, but he's just so damn freaky in a special needs kinda way. James/Josh are both scum.
Sharon, while incredibly boring, is the least appalling. And she has flown under the radar pretty successfully.
14 of 26 | Posted by MissThing | Posted on March 27, 2008 6:37 PM
Anybody watching the live feeds would argue with Chelsia that she never breast fed off anyone. She did. Natalie with icecream on her nipples. Not kidding.
I'm rooting for Nutty Natty all the way!
Love ya flipit!
15 of 26 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on March 28, 2008 12:06 AM
Loved the recap! I look forward to reading it after every show. Those of you watching the live feeds sure are getting a different view of the people than what we see. What else have we missed?
16 of 26 | Posted by tammy | Posted on March 28, 2008 12:22 AM
tammy-one thing they never showed, for obvious reasons, was Chel and James getting it on all the time, and I don't just mean foreplay-eww. And she was probably one of the nastiest people I've ever seen in the house. I don't even want to write all the gross stuff she did. Also apprently there was a hook up early on between her and Allison, not just kissing either.
Sharon IS actually that boring, and isn't just edited that way. Although she did participate in the pool orgy. And she admitted she cheated on Jacob first.
I don't watch the feeds, but I read Morty's every day. I'm addicted while bored at work lol.
17 of 26 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 28, 2008 8:38 AM
Such a funny recap! The Ballad of Baller was the best part. His brother was such a weirdo!
I am not on Team Nat at all. I agree completely with MissThing (#14). Natalie is an IDIOT and I cannot in good conscience root for her in any way. Chelsia may have been a bitch and a slut, but at least she owned it. I was actually rooting for Josh to win, because I wanted to see a really really good Sheila freak-out. Oh well, maybe next week.
18 of 26 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on March 28, 2008 8:38 AM
I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Chelsia gets back to "real" life and sees the articles and pictures of James' past life. No disinfectant will fix that, girl! Usually people who think they know the most actually know the least. She will find out the hard that she was played worse than Natalie by Matty.
19 of 26 | Posted by wornsey | Posted on March 28, 2008 10:17 AM
I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Chelsia gets back to "real" life and sees the articles and pictures of James' past life. No disinfectant will fix that, girl! Usually people who think they know the most actually know the least. She will find out the hard way that she was played worse than Natalie by Matty.
20 of 26 | Posted by wornsey | Posted on March 28, 2008 10:17 AM
this article sucks..its almost as immature as Chelsia smashing easter eggs..
Natalie fucking sucks..she's ugly, psychotic, and a bible thumper..hope she fucking chokes on the easter eggs she made
21 of 26 | Posted by john_rober | Posted on March 28, 2008 11:48 AM
this article sucks..its almost as immature as Chelsia smashing easter eggs..
Natalie fucking sucks..she's ugly, psychotic, and a bible thumper..hope she fucking chokes on the easter eggs she made
22 of 26 | Posted by john_rober | Posted on March 28, 2008 11:48 AM
thanks pixi-stix, it sounds interesting.what's morty's?
23 of 26 | Posted by tammy | Posted on March 29, 2008 1:04 AM
Id like to meet the asshole who wrote this! fucking kick their ass! peice of shit! a loser like you doesnt deserve to write about big brother, since you suck at it. fucking douche
24 of 26 | Posted by youreanidiot | Posted on March 29, 2008 2:01 AM
tammy-morty's is a site that types up what is going on on the live feeds. Just Google bb udpates, it comes up there.
And I think some of the c's and hobo's loser friends found this site. Suck it asses.
25 of 26 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 30, 2008 3:30 PM
Couldn't have said it better pixie-stix.
26 of 26 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on March 30, 2008 4:08 PM