As the slamming starts, Dan says "If you're gonna be a monkey, be a gorilla!" Alright, who wants to be the one to tell Dan that gorillas can't swing on vines? No one? K, moving on. Dipshit. Rerun quotes Tupac's "Me Against the World" to inspire himself, which seems like a bad choice to me. After all, it didn't end too well for Tupac. Rerun might have more success if he quoted something nice and positive. Like "Tomorrow" from Annie. Or "Please Don't Stop the Music". Just some advice. Dan says after this, kids might be out of the picture. Let's hope so, for their sake.

Michelle says that she wants to win because she wants to get vengeance for April, which I find hilarious. I think she just likes vengeance. They were friends for what? A week? Rerun is "distrut" about April's leaving, but he's gonna carry on even if big black birds from Albert Hitchok movies keep trying to get him. It was cute seeing Rerun's parents last week, because at least we know where he gets his wack verbiage. Did anyone understand a thing his dad said?

Catholic Dan yells into the camera about how April tried to give him five grand but he's playing for half a mil so she can suck it. Poor Dan must have been slammed up against the wall pretty hard, because he's louder than usual and something's wrong with his left eye. Or is the haircut Renny gave him so bad that I'm just noticing his lazy eye for the first time? Get a song from Renny, but not a haircut.

Picture 1-74
Next challenge: how many baseballs can you take to the head?

Memphis tries to relate to us how difficult the swinging competition is by revisiting his childhood. You know how when you were a kid? How you would swing from a tree and then get scared and hold on and then hit the tree? Uh, no, but it explains a lot, mixo. Then Dan tries to explain how difficult the challenge is by comparing it to "the carnival ride from hell because you had a lot of fun right when you got on, but then you realize you're not getting off any time soon." Monica must feel like that sometimes.

Twenty six minutes into the game, and Jerry is the first one to show signs of weakness. No, it's not because he's old, it's because he has the giant balls of a 75 year old and the rope won't let them be. I would get on the not fair train, but Michelle hasn't complained about her giant vagina so suck it up, Jer!

Picture 2-69
Dang. It's like the set of Wipeout in those pants.


At 46 minutes, he finally falls and goes into the fetal position, screaming about gooks and missing legs, but then Renny tells him it's 2008 and his legs just fell asleep and ps we call them Japs now. The HGs still on the vine start pulling water balloons off the wall and throwing them at each other. Memphis throws one at Rerun but misses, instead hitting Michelle right between the eyes. She is cool about it in the diary room, telling us that it was meant for "Ali". Why is she insisting on pronouncing his name that way? It's Goal Weight Rerun, idiot!

Keesha is the next one down, at the hour mark, which really pisses Memphis off because it's almost like the other HGs are actually planning on him doing something on his own to stay in the house instead of riding on their backs like he has been for the past two months. The nerve! The other four make it to the two hour mark, and that's when Groedner gets really nasty and starts slamming them really hard and fast against the wall. Renny whispers that Michelle looks pretty beat up. Then she tells us it's 2008 and water is wet.

Picture 3-75
You shoulda seen her after she was slammed against the wall a few times.

Her sneaker gets caught in the fake plants on the wall and she's down. Rerun knows that Michelle is the only one who most likely wouldn't put him on the block, which gives him "more sense of urgency." Memphis isn't worried, as it's now two against one. He trusts Dan, because they're the Renegays and nothing with ever break them apart. Then he falls. Wussy! Jerry is the first one to help him off the mat, which seems odd at first, but it goes to prove my theory that everyone is more likable without a fauxhawk.

Picture 4-67
Now if you'd get rid of the mandannas and the Panama Jack hats, you might have a shot at winning this thing.

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Comments (30)

Cherie:

LMFAO! That was some seriously funny shit! Except now I have a picture of Jerrys big Wipeout balls in my head! Thanks! This is definately going to be an interesting week.
Love ya.

steveninseattle:

In typical true BB fashion - at this point - I get tired and bored watching all the idiots in the house - except Renny! (TEAM RENNY)

But Flipit - I continue on just to enjoy for your recaps even more!

loiseau_chante:

Did Dan's girlfriend look identical to his sister from a few weeks ago, or am I just crazy?

Dirty Sanchez:

It just amazes me when people over think the BB game. "Rerun is shivering and shaking and couldn't win a contest to save his life, so maybe I should make a deal to give him all the power this week? That way I can piss off my alliance AND not get to compete for the next HOH! Brilliant!"

Note to Dan: You don't need to keep up the "make the other houseguests think I'm a weak pussy" charade. Trust me bro, they're convinced.

Scarlet:

Ted: OK Wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?

Future Bill and Ted: 69, Dudes!

tv freak:

"He considers putting Rerun and Michelle up, but he knows that whoever stays in the house will be coming after him. Yeah, but guess what? Neither one is aligned with ANYONE, so who cares?"

If he were to put up Ollie and Michelle, he would lose 2 potential jury votes. This way, he only loses Memphis, who may still vote for him, depending on who else is in the final two

Did anyone notice near the end when Memphis made that remark about Fr. Dan. I did not understand what it was supposed to mean but I think its safe to say that it was a cheap shot at Dan's religion...Wasn't it Memphis who was mad about people taking shots at Dan's religion a few weeks ago. Yet, now that you are mad at him, you have a right to make similar remarks? What a hypocrite. I'd be happy to see him go soon, although Jerry needs to go first.

sowhat1234:

Dan can still save his alliance if he or memphis win the veto.

The deal was simply that Ollie picked someone on the block and the other person for the veto.

IF dan thinks strategically, he could either play to win the veto and take off Memphis (OR simply assure that memphis wins the veto) so that Ollie (as stated in the deal) pick the replacement for the block which wouldn't be Memphis!

Again, thats wishful thinking because Dan is in fact an idiot!

DP Hooker:

Yes, Memphis said if he had to put his faith in "Father Dan," then "God save us all." I thought it was pretty funny. I can see why it might seem hypocritical but he was making it in a diary room confessional and not yelling SCREW YOU PEOPLE HOOOONK JUDAS BURN IN HELL to his face, so that's why I thought it was funny.

baymenxpac:

how did these two d.r. gems about the competition not get mention

memphis: "i busted one right in michelle's face."

michelle: "i got pounded"

nestofvipers:

ok next season can we get a nix on people who swear on the bible, catholic schools, or their children and then go back on it? i'm sick to death of that crap. i have no problem with lying in big brother but swearing on things that are supposed to mean something to you is kind of sick.

also.. what was up with the hoh contest? was dan the only one who got the dress in warm layers and wear your rain slicker memo? everyone else seemed horribly unprepared (save ollie with april's gloves but really that was all her doing)

mrsc:

VNeck needs to suck it up and quit being such a victim about being on the block. He is as good as safe. No one will be sad to see Jerry go, Renny will vote with Keisha and Keisha wants him to stay. Even if Hoooonk wins Veto and Keisha or Renny goes up, they have the numbers- they are safe. So except for Dan not making a deal about being safe next week, this might not have been as big as a bonehead deal as it appears.

Time will tell if Dan goes down as the #2 (Dr.Will will always be #1) strategic player in BB history or one of the biggest boneheads in BB History. If he can convince everyone he just HAD to see his Monica and they were as good a safe and survive next week, I think he will take it.

serjen:

Actually, Dan's deal is not so bad....and remember, he only swore on everything for the FIRST deal that Ollie didn't take. On the second deal, he didn't swear on anything/anyone to Ollie. Plus, he made Ollie promise not to tell anyone about the second part of the deal, and Ollie broke that. IF he finds out that Ollie broke that, than he can have an excuse to break his part of the deal.

He's not too stupid, in my opinion. At this point, he's got EVERYONE who wins veto wanting to use it. His alliance would use it to get down Memphis and put up Ollie or Michelle, and Michelle and Ollie would use it because now they think that Ollie will have choice over who goes up. It's pretty genius, in my opinion.

Mr Dangerous:

Thanks for the show update. Since I live in Los Angeles I had thought about going "to be part of the live audience" but after your BB report I know I can pass now. Did they ask the audience to smile whenever the camera was on? You look very happy! Almost crazed. I hope Julie has lots of security.

I'm glad everyone is concerned about Jerry's big balls. Maybe, he's got something going on down there and that's why he's been happily married for 50+ years?

Didn't find the Fr. Dan comment offensive.

serjen:

Mr. Dangerous, if you read b-side's BB blogs @ bsideblog.com, he has gone to two live tapings and blogged about it- and he makes them seem like a really great experience. But he's also a HUGE BB and Chenbot fan, so that could be why.

cattyfan:

Dan's plan could be genius...if he thinks it through.

It didn't matter who Ollie chose to put up. Ollie and Michelle are only two votes. Jerry is on the block. That leaves Renny, Memphis, and Keesha. As long as the remaining two of them vote for Jerry, Dan has the tie-breaking vote.

If (God forbid) Jerry wins the veto, Dan can put Ollie up. Deception and back-stabbing are part of the game, and all the players have used those methods to one degree or another. All the posturing about "ethics" is just that: posturing.

But if all goes as planned, Dan can send Jerry home.

Loved Dan's "covert" shout out to his fellow "Renegade" Memphis during Dan's "why I nominated you" speech.

carriec:

Is Dan forgetting that Ollie totally broke his word week one by turning on his alliance with Dan and Brian? Dan's an idiot for making the deal in the first place but even more so if he sticks to it. Grow a pair, win the veto and put up Ollie, Dan!

Hey Buddy:

Dan will keep his word and not put up Ollie if the veto gets used.

The only way the veto gets used is if Memphis or Jerry wins it (chances? slim to none), because nobody else wants to go up in his place. I would love to see either Ollie or Michelle win PoV, use it on Jerry and put either Renny or Keesha up for eveiction. How great would that be? I guess if Jerry wins PoV that scenario plays out as well.

How do so many people use words inappropriately? Reiterate, Rerun? Come on.
And Dan, I expected more out of you... recluse instead of reckless? I don't think you meant Renny lives in seclusion from the rest of the world...but I guess that does kind of describe the houseguests at this point in time, doesn't it?

trink621:

mrsc: "Vneck" LOL

suckitbitches:

Dan's plan will be brilliant or blow up in his face. Either way, it makes for more interesting BB than it has been lately. So, thanks Dan.

Memphis's gray v-neck shirts are driving me crazy!!!! I keep getting flashbacks to Dustin! Yuck!

brittanyro:

I love the recaps

Just wondering....did anyone else find themselves turning down the volume when Dan came on last night then having to turn it up when the other houseguests came on

His students must be deaf.

badassbtch:

Okay...
Dan is definitely related to that insufferable screaming Billy Mays.

I do not have a doubt in my mind.

serjen:

I think if people watch the live feeds, their opinions of a lot of the houseguests would change immensely.

Dirty Sanchez:

Serjen - Without giving away any gameplay or results, give us a little thumbnail sketch of what these people are like on the feeds.

suckitbitches:

I watch BB After Dark and it has made me think differently in two ways:

1. It's a lot more boring in the house than they portray in primetime and

2. Michelle is a future alchoholic, if not already.

mistichristie:

dirty sanchez
Without giving away the game here you go

Keesha: talks about the others all the time, bad bad drunk
Reeney: super cool
Michelle: sulky (always)
Ollie: Blah
Jerry: Talks about others all the time
Dan: smart, never gets emotional
Memphis: Blah, hangs with Keesha alot

juddfan:

Thanks Flip it! Loved the letter from home!!! And how adorable you look, even out of focus in the audience!!!

Hmmm, does that mean April is up there with most hated like Jessie!?

I wish Dan was secretly trying to rid himself of Memphis w/out doing the dirty work, and I agree, it's pretty safe unless Renny flips--loved the Dan exchange, we all know she's his first and only GF--why pretend!

SnackyCakes420:

I think the deal Dan made was pretty dumb, because even if Jerry is the one to go home Memphis seemed pissed and definitely didn't trust him anymore, AND he can't compete for HOH. What I really don't understand is if he's not trying to shake things up and really evict Memphis, why did he give so much power to Ollie to not get his "hands dirty". Like anybody cares or would be mad if Jerry left. And Jerry is only one jury vote who probably wouldn't vote for Dan to win in the end anyway. It just seemed really unnecessary.

"I knew he was a tool, but I didn't know he was this big of a tool. He's a fucking tractor." BEST closing line EVER!!!

schoonie:

"I think if people watch the live feeds, their opinions of a lot of the houseguests would change immensely."

I actually disagree. When I've watched the feeds (on Showtime), it actually reinforces what I already think about all of these people from watching the show. For instance, I definitely find Michelle more annoying than I already did. I find Dan just more cheesy and awesome than ever, Memphis as bland, Renny as ridiculous and hilarious, and so on.

itchy:

I'm still rooting for Dan actually using his brain to psyche people out. His 'loser' strategy is a bit annoying, but it definitely seems a good way to play with these people -- so far, anyone who has shown even a bit of assertiveness has got himself voted out. The rest of the crew are sheep, they're looking for a shepherd, not a wolf.

Though Renny seems pretty cranky lately.

Anyway, I fell behind in watching the eps, this is going to be old news pretty soon...

bitchristine:

Dan is a tool. I think we was being recluse with his strategy this week.

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