Hey! Schoonie here. I'll be entering the Big Brother rotation beginning this evening, so there will be a whopping three of us covering the show from now on. Two are gay! One is straight! TVGasm has got to be thinking sitcom, right?
The episode begins, as all Big Brother episodes do, with stuff they've already shown us eight billion times. Hey, Matt/Natalie and Alex/Amanda are nominated! It's like Groundhog Day, but with more cold sores.
Matt tells us how mad he is about being nominated after he was told that he would not be by James and Chelsia. Hey, check it out! It's that clip that we just saw of Matt being promised that he would not be nominated! The editors hope that you do not have very many shiny things in your living room. Matt tells us that he "made a deal with the devil", and I sort of don't remember any deal. That would mean that Matt would have to give something in return, and I don't remember that happening. What kind of deal is that? Oh, wait, he's probably a Patriots fan.
James, in response, tells us that he doesn't really care because nominating people is sort of the point. He says that you're supposed to "lie, cheat and steal" to win the game. Don't forget that you also need to provide an unsatisfying outcome at the end! That's sort of become a prerequisite. Oh, and you also need to be a poseur.
Alex, fuming over the nominations, does not react kindly when Amanda approaches him as he is sitting outside. He blames her for the outcome, because of the way she's been gossiping about everyone. He points out that Chelsia/James had nothing bad to say about him during the nomination ceremony. I'm thinking he's not really feeling the whole couples thing right now. That's exactly how Danny DeVito felt in 1988, and now his twin is Governor of California. There's a lesson there, somewhere.
And now, Allison and Natalie are in bikinis, screwing around with Windex squirt bottles, which they have strapped to themselves using microphone belts. That sentence: brought to you by the manatees who write Family Guy.
Meanwhile, Amanda, Matt and Shiela talk about how Allison doesn't want to hang out with Sheila anymore now that she's safe from eviction this week. First of all, the veto hasn't happened yet. I'm starting to think that Sheila is one of those people who doesn't feel fulfilled unless she has something to bitch about/feels wronged by someone. Then she tells us that her "gut has never steered her wrong", and that she feels played by Allison. Indeed, always trust the gut instinct of a Penthouse Pet. Good advice my grandfather gave me on the day I graduated from high school.
Outside, Matt and Alex (likely drunk), sort of mess around with James about the nominations, and Matt attempts to make the point that neither of them would be up on the block if it weren't for their partners. Wait, so he blames Natalie? Man, you go down on one guy on a live internet feed and pretty soon people are blaming you for Hurricane Katrina. Alex, however, catches the pass because he's actually sort of smart, all "I don't know, though! He SAYS it's because of Amanda, but..." And then he swears revenge on James if he stays in the house. He is going to DJ your wedding, and you are going to ask him not to play the Macarena, but he's going to anyway. And then all of your annoying uncles and aunts will swarm the dance floor, and we shall see who has the last laugh!
Back from commercial, we open on a quote on the wall by Dostoyevsky, and I must say that I love the quotes, because bring one of these people over to that quote, point at it, and ask them to pronounce the author's name. Yeah, I totally believe that Matt has read Crime and Punishment. I mean, Julie Chen reads entire books in mere seconds, but that's because she's the cousin of the robot from Short Circuit.
Time for the veto competition! James/Chelsia come out to announce the veto, and there is a hilarious moment where everyone is all fake "YAY!" about it, and Alex is on the couch, with the saddest face all pouty. You can't be sad when you're wearing an American Flag bandana! It's like wearing a pirate patch and a mullet at the same time.
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Comments (11)
Yay Schoonie! I'm so happy you're doing this recap as I always love yours =)
It wasn't just Amanda that mispronounced Barack's name, it sounded (to me) like they all did, because all I heard was a chorus of "barrack", like the military housing.
Watching her pass out and have a seizure was very scary, more so since I'm hypoglycemic.
Sheila is a tard and I don't get why they are still there...
Also they were all in bikinis because that was day the women had to wear them for 24 hours (from the last HoH comp).
I hope Matt and Nat go. At this point I'm rooting for Ryan and Amanda even though they aren't together.
1 of 11 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on February 27, 2008 11:53 AM
I'm sorry - Amanda needed a screencap Schoonie - imagine how incredibly Wicked Witch of the East she would've looked....
2 of 11 | Posted by krut | Posted on February 27, 2008 1:03 PM
Thanks for clearing up the bikini situation. While watching the show I thought, "Why are they wearing bikinis? It's freezing outside. Now it makes sense.
REGARDING:
"Yeah, we'll see who's a loser when we both get ourselves out of this." Um...does he know how the veto works?
That was funny.
3 of 11 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on February 27, 2008 1:21 PM
Love reading your recaps! I wanted to thank you for not making a joke of what happened to Amanda. Really means something to me that you didn't. My husband had a similar type of response happen last year and seeing that happen to Amanda brought back some really bad memories. I, as well, want to know what, if anything, happened to Allison.
4 of 11 | Posted by nwokpeach | Posted on February 27, 2008 2:17 PM
Re: "Man, you go down on one guy on a live internet feed and pretty soon people are blaming you for Hurricane Katrina"
Uhm....WHAT? Did Natalie go down on Matt on the feeds? Or is this something else? C'mon. You can't drop that tidbit and not give more info.
5 of 11 | Posted by aholic | Posted on February 27, 2008 2:21 PM
Re: Allison. From what I read in regards to the live feeds she had an alergic reaction to something in the slop. At least that is what is assumed. She had also eaten a peanut, but that was ruled out I think. When she came back that night she said the hospital told her they didn't know what caused it and she needed to go back the next day for more tests. I haven't caught up to see if she did.
God knows what they put in that slop, or what the houseguests add to make it more tasty.
6 of 11 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on February 27, 2008 2:43 PM
aholic:
Yes, it is true, I saw the video clip of Natalie going down on Matt. It was on Newsfilter if I remember correctly.
7 of 11 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on February 27, 2008 4:37 PM
Sorry, that would be Newsvault, NOT Newsfilter. Definitely not Newsfilter, LOL.....
8 of 11 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on February 27, 2008 5:00 PM
can we talk about the naked stripping and pool orgy now, since cbs is likely not going to show it. I am really disgusted by this new cast, for like 2 hours on sunday, they did a very x rated, no tops, whip cream strip dance, and several of them carried on in the pool afterwards, passing one girl around the guys, it was very disgusting. It was funny, because Amanda actually did not participate, and was the sane one to explain how they could have all given each other an STD.
9 of 11 | Posted by nflow | Posted on February 27, 2008 6:58 PM
nflow-I hear ya. I saw clips of it and it was just too gross. The best part is wasn't Chelsia the one that came down on Amanda for walking around with her butt hanging out??
All the guys liked Amanda with her clothes on, but I guess Chel had to take them off to gain interest.
And Allison, Sheila, and Amanda did not participate. Ryan just did in the lap dance part, and Adam barely did either. Even Josh made out with Chel..
10 of 11 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on February 27, 2008 7:04 PM
Yeah, it was fairly gross! And Chelsia...what a hypocrite!!
11 of 11 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on February 28, 2008 10:56 AM