Rerun gets more and more worked up and spills the beans on the deal with Dan. He was supposed to get to pick a nominee (Memphis), he was supposed to get to keep Michelle safe, and he was supposed to get to pick the replacement nominee. And then he lied! HE LIED! OMG YOU GUYS WHY AREN'T YOU FURIOUS? Once he's run out of things to shout about that no one reacts to, he just starts yelling "I'm supposed to be HOH! I'M HOH!!" When he takes a moment to breathe and come up with some new words, Keesha laughs and says "so basically you're telling me that you wanted me to go on the block instead of Michelle, and I'm supposed to be mad?" Rerun says yes, she should be mad because Dan's a liar and there are two headed Mexican babies hidden at Area 51. Memphis asks Rerun what makes him think that Dan's alliance didn't know what he was up to, which causes Rerun to call him a "red headed Cabbage Patch Kid" and storm inside. Well, that explains the name. You don't meet many bartenders named Memphis Willa Jean.
Man Rerun's an idiot. Did he really think he was gonna turn the house by telling them that they should be mad at Dan for not making them lose? Dumdum. Rerun gets to the HOH suite and asks Dan why he took him for a fool. Dan restrains from answering that it was because Rerun is in fact a big dodo bird and says it's just a game and he wants to score some points. Rerun says that he was embarrassed in front of millions of people and Dan tested his manhood. Dan says nothing. What can he say? Grades are in. You got an F in manhood. Summer school time.
Although you did have a point about the Cabbage Patch thing.
Later, Renny, Keesha and Memphis hang with Dan in the HOH and Renny, the only one who seems to know the rules of Russian roulette, asks Dan if that whole stupid game was really necessary. Then they see on the TV that Rerun is getting violent and throwing shit around. He breaks a candy dish. A candy dish? DANGEROUS. Was there not a pillow handy? Then he goes outside and throws the weight bar, screaming about roulette and coverups and aliens. April, don't ever forget to bring home the milk.
Michelle goes up to the HOH suite and Dan says he'll only let her in if she doesn't yell. HA. She's calm for now, she just wants to know why he did that to her? Uh, cuz you're on the other side? Dipshit. He says nothing, and then she starts repeating the question in a very loud but not yelling voice. She wants to know why he wouldn't put up Muhammad Ali and Dan reminds her that Ali isn't in the house, he's somewhere in Arizona staring at a wall. Michelle keeps her not yelling promise and instead makes her way to the diary room to sob at us in a really low grovelly man voice about how she would rather be put up because she's a good player, or carries around the lingering smell of hamsters and turtles. But no reason? WHYYYY??? Michelle, you should never ever sob in public. I just had a flashback to the drag episode of Project Runway. But this is way sadder and less sparkly.
He was too lazy to make sleeves.
The bot welcomes the HG's to the living room and breaks the news about the double eviction. Rerun starts clapping. I don't really know what to say to that, except that now that April's gone we get Rerun's personality all to ourselves, and I actually want April back. The two nominees get to state their cases. Jerry says that he's old and has been through a lot and if he gets voted out then this will just be a pot hole in the road of life. Never mind that a pot hole could cause a 75 year old man whiplash or even a concussion, Jerry just wants to make sure that people vote how they want to. As long as it's not for Hillary. If they keep him, he promises to try and fit one more logo on him next week.
Maybe a JUICY on the ass?
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Comments (23)
I was thinking you were going to go with Cocoon, but then: Awakenings poster = genius. That is all.
1 of 23 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 29, 2008 12:43 AM
April and Ollie are going to have one batshit crazy child. Should we just call child protective services now?
I loved how Keesha laughed at Ollie's rant in the backyard - "Uhh, I'm supposed to be mad that you got played instead of you putting me on the block?"
I'd bang Keesha's hot little wing slinging body until exhaustion set in (or my wife walked in), but that missing tooth took me back a bit. Who am I kidding? I'd still bang her.
2 of 23 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 29, 2008 5:55 AM
That was one of the funniest recaps of the season, I can't stop laughing! :)
3 of 23 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on August 29, 2008 6:08 AM
I was watching Memphis pretty closely and I believe he purposely threw the veto competition. He does not want to get his hands dirty and he's leaving the work for everyone else.
4 of 23 | Posted by wornsey | Posted on August 29, 2008 6:55 AM
It was a pretty fun hour, but the one thing we talked about most was how completely unattractive that audience was last night. Did anyone catch that? We kept pausing it to look for someone, anyone doable, but it was all in vain.
My apologies if any of you were in the audience.
5 of 23 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on August 29, 2008 6:57 AM
These recaps are usually pretty freaking hilarious. But when I got to the part with that Cabbage Patch Kid with Memphis' hair on it, I completely lost my sh*t. When he said it on last night's show, and then Memphis said, all defensively "What did he just call me?" I just couldn't stop laughing. Besides the fact that I never though Memphis has red hair...but CPK? As an insult? Huh? The picture is classic! Thank you!!
6 of 23 | Posted by shmoopy32 | Posted on August 29, 2008 7:06 AM
I may be wrong here....but during the Veto competition, it appeared to me that Dan did not put the Veto symbol on the peg. Thats why his buzzer did not go off. It looked like he simply hit the buzzer a couple of times, and threw the Veto symbol accross the yard. Anyone else notice that? I think Chne blew it (again!) by prematurly announcing Dan as the winner.
Im glad he won...but I wonder if anyone else caught that?
7 of 23 | Posted by switz | Posted on August 29, 2008 7:14 AM
Switz - I did notice that. He didn't put it on the post and he just kept hitting the buzzer. I thought Memphis was going to end up winning (but I also think he threw that on purpose). But whatever...Ollie is gone and that is all I care about!
8 of 23 | Posted by shmoopy32 | Posted on August 29, 2008 7:22 AM
was Dan supposed to put the 2nd symbol on the peg? Well, either way, there's no way Ollie or Jerry would have won.
About Keesha's tooth, I remember one time when April was trash-talking Keesha and saying how Keesha was jealous of her, she mentioned her missing tooth. I think Jerry did, too, recently, while making fun of her.
I think it's eery how much Keesha is similar to Daniele (but I think Keesha's prettier). And doesn't Keesha have fake boobs? I could be wrong, but I thought that was one of the reasons April was so set on proving hers were real...
Great recap, as usual. And I loved that episode. It worked out perfectly. At this point, I wouldn't mind if Memphis left. I'm rooting for a Dan/Renny F2 but I don't see that happening...no one wants to sit next to Renny in F2- she's too well-liked.
I loved Ollie's exit, I can't wait for him to see how stupid he looked half the time. And LOL @ Michelle being told by Julie that Dan wasn't a plant. That wasn't a lie at all- he wasn't a plant. He was AP for just one week...but not planted by production like Mich and Ollie thought.
9 of 23 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 29, 2008 8:04 AM
Am I the only one who heard Keesha say "It's hard because it's so fast"? I have to figure it's not the first time she's said that.
And I loved when the bot invited everyone to the "meto Veeting"...
10 of 23 | Posted by zengolfguy | Posted on August 29, 2008 8:05 AM
Yes, Keisha's boobs were big last night. Even I noticed them. Doesn't her missing tooth make her MORE ATTRACTIVE? She's got a Hillbilly thing going on now. Isn't that irresistible to straight men?
I was going to suggest that you gay up your recaps but you did put in a picture of Liza. It doesn't get any gayer than that.
Hope the pizza was good. The elephant convention is next week so put the pizza place on speed dial. (Oh, wait. It's already on speed dial, isn't it?)
Good Recap.
11 of 23 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on August 29, 2008 8:08 AM
Yeah, I've noticed Keesha's missing tooth for awhile, and if you're wondering: yes, it does make her hotter.
12 of 23 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 29, 2008 9:23 AM
I was blindsided by keesha's missing tooth last night. i don't know how i've missed that.
I think jerry might have been confused on the 2nd tie-breaker question. Wasn't it # of seconds it took for the winner of each heat of the POV combined? He put 320 which would have been a little over 5 minutes. He is usually better at those kind of questions. HOOONK!
Also, when the audience laughed when he and Keesha both wrote 100 for the first tiebreaker, I'm surprised he didn't let out a "SCREW YOU PEOPLE!!"
I thought Ollie said "Eye for an eye and a too for a too" but toof is funnier. CBS really edited down his breakdown with Memphis after the POV ceremony.
13 of 23 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on August 29, 2008 9:48 AM
Go back and look at all the live shows. Keesha has a special push-up bra that she trots out for evictions. It's doing very good work.
14 of 23 | Posted by echo27 | Posted on August 29, 2008 10:46 AM
Hmm, Flip, seems politics brings out the vim and vigor in you!!!! Awesome recap, just filled with spunk!!!
CAn't believe what a total idiot Ollie is, I feel the urge to paste in succession all the scenes where he and Pan face swore they were going to wreak havoc and all hell was going to break loose . . . . um, perhaps if he was referring to the candy dish . . .
All I can say is: ha ha!
Love you Flip!!!!
Go Renny!!!!!
15 of 23 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 10:55 AM
[and Rerun starts screaming "I HAVE THE POWER OF VETO! I DO!" and calling people My Little Ponies.]
OMG - I was laughing so hard! Flipit - you are my favorite.
16 of 23 | Posted by pollyanna_di | Posted on August 29, 2008 1:41 PM
Without a doubt Dan's keeping Jerry around for the final two. They all are--he's such an ass, there's just no way he could win this.
Love the way he immediately sucks up to whoever's in power. Guess that's a military thing too.
I think it's hilarious that the moment April's out of the game, and Ollie finally has the play the game a bit, he completely fucks it all up. What a complete dork. I really hope she is pregnant. Then he can embarrass himself in front of millions driving her to the abortion doctor.
The biggest disappointment with the season has been the very little bikini time we've been given. Especially of Keesha.
She's been on the back burner edit-wise lately. I still think she might win. She's not stupid, and not as reckless as Dan.
17 of 23 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 29, 2008 2:40 PM
Ha, you said "filled with spunk".
18 of 23 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 29, 2008 3:06 PM
Ha, you said "filled with spunk".
And it wasn't even referring to April!
I'm kinda pissed that there has been no Keesha in a bikini time this season. Yippee, we got hours and hours of Wahhhmber but no Keesha? My civil rights have been violated.
19 of 23 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 30, 2008 5:31 AM
Switz - I'm almost positive (I watched it twice), that Chenbot said they had to get back with the Veto, not actually put it on the peg, to hit the buzzer and win.
I think the peg was just to hold the first one, so those of us watching from home could tell at a glance who had already found a Veto and who had not.
20 of 23 | Posted by lonebutterfly | Posted on August 30, 2008 10:40 AM
Two things from that episode:
1. When Chen told Michelle that Dan wasn't a plant I was confused. I didn't think things like that were supposed to be told to the jury members, as they are to go to the jury house and make their decisions based on what their perceptions in the game were. But I guess if they all didn't vote for Dan in the end because they thought it was true, then Dan could go after CBS for inventing the whole America's Player thing and putting doubt every season into people's heads.....maybe I answered my own question lol.
2. I can't believe Rerun didn't say goodbye to Jerry. What a fucking child. And more of a reason for me to be happy he is gone. I'm not fond of Jerry, but they were in an alliance of sorts together, so why not at least hug him?
21 of 23 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on August 31, 2008 9:01 AM
I noticed they never told Ollie that Dan's not a plant. They must've realized they screwed up.
Dan can only win against Jerry at his point. He's lost the votes of Michelle, Ollie, Jerry, and possibly April (Ollie will brainwash her not to vote for Dan, unless he's up against Keesha, but Renny would vote Keesha over Dan) Let's hope it gets ugly in the house, otherwise Dan doesn't have a prayer. no pun intended...
I lol'd at your comment DP about the tie.
22 of 23 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 31, 2008 2:09 PM
Flipit, you need to go back and read this week of Feedcaps. Look for the fight after the POV Ceremony and find the links I posted to the Ollie meltdown. Along with the scenes you saw they are a few more. One where Ollie invites Memphis Nashville Knoxville to suck his **** about 5 times.
I didn't know cabbage patch dolls did that but maybe Ollie's mom got his at a different store than mine.
23 of 23 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on September 2, 2008 2:50 PM