Michelle says in the nicest, womanliest way she can muster, that she is grateful to have been there. Then she slips into the more gravelly drag voice and says that people should vote for themselves and not for the person next to them. If it benefits the person next to them for her to stay, then...wait. If it benefits them for the person next to them to vote...no. If you guys wanna (choke gasp cry gasp) vote for...next to you... flying Lizas waaaahhhhhh.
Well said. The bot cuts her off and gets voting underway. Keesha votes against Michelle. Memphis does too. Rerun votes to evict Jerry and then throws a Snickers Bar at the camera. Renny stays with her team and with a "Michelle, I love you dowaling", evicts Michelle. The bot breaks the news to Michelle, who hugs Jerry and Keesha and Renny and Rerun but not Dan. Sorry to be a perv, but have Keesha's boobs always been this big?
I'm just saying.
And while I'm pointing stuff out, look who's in the audience!!
Holla, B-Side! Love ya miss ya call me!
ChenChen asks Michelle why she thinks she became the target this week and Michelle tries to not break down while answering that Dan's been after her the whole time and she thinks he's a plant. Then she says "one plus one doesn't equal two to Dan". LOL. I don't think that's what she meant to say, but it's very astute nonetheless. She thinks that Dan's not just playing a game, he's trying to make everyone look stupid and turn them against each other. Nice work, Sherlock. If you'd have come to that conclusion last week you could have told Rerun to hold on a little bit longer. The bot tells her that Dan was in fact not a plant and she is sitting here purely because of game play and a really annoying constant sob. Now is that considered a lie? I know Dan was only America's player for a week, but he did get Jessie sent home that week, which couldn't have helped Michelle any. Shady shit right there.
Anyway, upon hearing this sack o crap, Michelle surmises that Dan is just crazy then and he will be sitting in the eviction seat later tonight. Chen asks her if she thinks Dan is scared and Michelle says that yes he is scared of her and she doesn't know why. First of all, that wasn't the question, and second, you don't? Really? I know why I'm scared of you.
Jessie? Jessie are you there? Kiss me. KISS ME. And feed the ferret. LOVE YOOOOOOUUUUU!!!
Chen calls her out for having a temper and Michelle says she's on her best behavior. LOL. Chen doesn't believe that Michelle's behavior can get any worse in real life but says at least she understands now why Michelle is chronically single. The HOH competition is a quiz show about headlines from the future. Audience members went online and voted for who they thought fake headlines fit the most.
Headline: "Houseguest gets lost coming home from work." It's between Jerry and Keesha, but everyone knows that no one who wears jorts as much as Jerry does is employed. Everyone but Renny chooses Keesha. Then Renny steps off the platform, thinking she's out. LOL Ren. The bot laughs condescendingly and moves on.
Headline: "Houseguest headlines comedy tour." It's between Renny and Jerry's balls. Memphis is the only one that guesses Jerry's giant balls, which makes him even with Renny, one point behind the others.
Headline: "Houseguest called a hero for saving a child from a burning building." Uhh, really? It's between Dan and Rerun, and everyone but Jerry chooses Rerun!! I hope Dan's paying attention, because that's pretty telling. I love that Jerry hates Dan the most but believes he's a hero. How sweet!
Headline: "Houseguest entrusted with National Security Secret". It's between Memphis and Jerry. Memphis is the only one that thinks he would be trusted. I would guess Memphis too, since he works in a bar and our President has been known to choke on a peanut or two and fall off the stool in his time. Dammit these elections are really starting to get to me.
Headline: "Houseguest's life is made into a movie." It's between Jerry and Renny. Renny is the only one to choose herself. Atta girl! Come on people. They already made Jerry's story into a movie.
This puts Jerry in the lead with 4, Keesha, Rerun and Renny tied at 3, and Memphis way behind with 1.
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Comments (23)
I was thinking you were going to go with Cocoon, but then: Awakenings poster = genius. That is all.
1 of 23 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 29, 2008 12:43 AM
April and Ollie are going to have one batshit crazy child. Should we just call child protective services now?
I loved how Keesha laughed at Ollie's rant in the backyard - "Uhh, I'm supposed to be mad that you got played instead of you putting me on the block?"
I'd bang Keesha's hot little wing slinging body until exhaustion set in (or my wife walked in), but that missing tooth took me back a bit. Who am I kidding? I'd still bang her.
2 of 23 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 29, 2008 5:55 AM
That was one of the funniest recaps of the season, I can't stop laughing! :)
3 of 23 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on August 29, 2008 6:08 AM
I was watching Memphis pretty closely and I believe he purposely threw the veto competition. He does not want to get his hands dirty and he's leaving the work for everyone else.
4 of 23 | Posted by wornsey | Posted on August 29, 2008 6:55 AM
It was a pretty fun hour, but the one thing we talked about most was how completely unattractive that audience was last night. Did anyone catch that? We kept pausing it to look for someone, anyone doable, but it was all in vain.
My apologies if any of you were in the audience.
5 of 23 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on August 29, 2008 6:57 AM
These recaps are usually pretty freaking hilarious. But when I got to the part with that Cabbage Patch Kid with Memphis' hair on it, I completely lost my sh*t. When he said it on last night's show, and then Memphis said, all defensively "What did he just call me?" I just couldn't stop laughing. Besides the fact that I never though Memphis has red hair...but CPK? As an insult? Huh? The picture is classic! Thank you!!
6 of 23 | Posted by shmoopy32 | Posted on August 29, 2008 7:06 AM
I may be wrong here....but during the Veto competition, it appeared to me that Dan did not put the Veto symbol on the peg. Thats why his buzzer did not go off. It looked like he simply hit the buzzer a couple of times, and threw the Veto symbol accross the yard. Anyone else notice that? I think Chne blew it (again!) by prematurly announcing Dan as the winner.
Im glad he won...but I wonder if anyone else caught that?
7 of 23 | Posted by switz | Posted on August 29, 2008 7:14 AM
Switz - I did notice that. He didn't put it on the post and he just kept hitting the buzzer. I thought Memphis was going to end up winning (but I also think he threw that on purpose). But whatever...Ollie is gone and that is all I care about!
8 of 23 | Posted by shmoopy32 | Posted on August 29, 2008 7:22 AM
was Dan supposed to put the 2nd symbol on the peg? Well, either way, there's no way Ollie or Jerry would have won.
About Keesha's tooth, I remember one time when April was trash-talking Keesha and saying how Keesha was jealous of her, she mentioned her missing tooth. I think Jerry did, too, recently, while making fun of her.
I think it's eery how much Keesha is similar to Daniele (but I think Keesha's prettier). And doesn't Keesha have fake boobs? I could be wrong, but I thought that was one of the reasons April was so set on proving hers were real...
Great recap, as usual. And I loved that episode. It worked out perfectly. At this point, I wouldn't mind if Memphis left. I'm rooting for a Dan/Renny F2 but I don't see that happening...no one wants to sit next to Renny in F2- she's too well-liked.
I loved Ollie's exit, I can't wait for him to see how stupid he looked half the time. And LOL @ Michelle being told by Julie that Dan wasn't a plant. That wasn't a lie at all- he wasn't a plant. He was AP for just one week...but not planted by production like Mich and Ollie thought.
9 of 23 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 29, 2008 8:04 AM
Am I the only one who heard Keesha say "It's hard because it's so fast"? I have to figure it's not the first time she's said that.
And I loved when the bot invited everyone to the "meto Veeting"...
10 of 23 | Posted by zengolfguy | Posted on August 29, 2008 8:05 AM
Yes, Keisha's boobs were big last night. Even I noticed them. Doesn't her missing tooth make her MORE ATTRACTIVE? She's got a Hillbilly thing going on now. Isn't that irresistible to straight men?
I was going to suggest that you gay up your recaps but you did put in a picture of Liza. It doesn't get any gayer than that.
Hope the pizza was good. The elephant convention is next week so put the pizza place on speed dial. (Oh, wait. It's already on speed dial, isn't it?)
Good Recap.
11 of 23 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on August 29, 2008 8:08 AM
Yeah, I've noticed Keesha's missing tooth for awhile, and if you're wondering: yes, it does make her hotter.
12 of 23 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 29, 2008 9:23 AM
I was blindsided by keesha's missing tooth last night. i don't know how i've missed that.
I think jerry might have been confused on the 2nd tie-breaker question. Wasn't it # of seconds it took for the winner of each heat of the POV combined? He put 320 which would have been a little over 5 minutes. He is usually better at those kind of questions. HOOONK!
Also, when the audience laughed when he and Keesha both wrote 100 for the first tiebreaker, I'm surprised he didn't let out a "SCREW YOU PEOPLE!!"
I thought Ollie said "Eye for an eye and a too for a too" but toof is funnier. CBS really edited down his breakdown with Memphis after the POV ceremony.
13 of 23 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on August 29, 2008 9:48 AM
Go back and look at all the live shows. Keesha has a special push-up bra that she trots out for evictions. It's doing very good work.
14 of 23 | Posted by echo27 | Posted on August 29, 2008 10:46 AM
Hmm, Flip, seems politics brings out the vim and vigor in you!!!! Awesome recap, just filled with spunk!!!
CAn't believe what a total idiot Ollie is, I feel the urge to paste in succession all the scenes where he and Pan face swore they were going to wreak havoc and all hell was going to break loose . . . . um, perhaps if he was referring to the candy dish . . .
All I can say is: ha ha!
Love you Flip!!!!
Go Renny!!!!!
15 of 23 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 29, 2008 10:55 AM
[and Rerun starts screaming "I HAVE THE POWER OF VETO! I DO!" and calling people My Little Ponies.]
OMG - I was laughing so hard! Flipit - you are my favorite.
16 of 23 | Posted by pollyanna_di | Posted on August 29, 2008 1:41 PM
Without a doubt Dan's keeping Jerry around for the final two. They all are--he's such an ass, there's just no way he could win this.
Love the way he immediately sucks up to whoever's in power. Guess that's a military thing too.
I think it's hilarious that the moment April's out of the game, and Ollie finally has the play the game a bit, he completely fucks it all up. What a complete dork. I really hope she is pregnant. Then he can embarrass himself in front of millions driving her to the abortion doctor.
The biggest disappointment with the season has been the very little bikini time we've been given. Especially of Keesha.
She's been on the back burner edit-wise lately. I still think she might win. She's not stupid, and not as reckless as Dan.
17 of 23 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 29, 2008 2:40 PM
Ha, you said "filled with spunk".
18 of 23 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 29, 2008 3:06 PM
Ha, you said "filled with spunk".
And it wasn't even referring to April!
I'm kinda pissed that there has been no Keesha in a bikini time this season. Yippee, we got hours and hours of Wahhhmber but no Keesha? My civil rights have been violated.
19 of 23 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 30, 2008 5:31 AM
Switz - I'm almost positive (I watched it twice), that Chenbot said they had to get back with the Veto, not actually put it on the peg, to hit the buzzer and win.
I think the peg was just to hold the first one, so those of us watching from home could tell at a glance who had already found a Veto and who had not.
20 of 23 | Posted by lonebutterfly | Posted on August 30, 2008 10:40 AM
Two things from that episode:
1. When Chen told Michelle that Dan wasn't a plant I was confused. I didn't think things like that were supposed to be told to the jury members, as they are to go to the jury house and make their decisions based on what their perceptions in the game were. But I guess if they all didn't vote for Dan in the end because they thought it was true, then Dan could go after CBS for inventing the whole America's Player thing and putting doubt every season into people's heads.....maybe I answered my own question lol.
2. I can't believe Rerun didn't say goodbye to Jerry. What a fucking child. And more of a reason for me to be happy he is gone. I'm not fond of Jerry, but they were in an alliance of sorts together, so why not at least hug him?
21 of 23 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on August 31, 2008 9:01 AM
I noticed they never told Ollie that Dan's not a plant. They must've realized they screwed up.
Dan can only win against Jerry at his point. He's lost the votes of Michelle, Ollie, Jerry, and possibly April (Ollie will brainwash her not to vote for Dan, unless he's up against Keesha, but Renny would vote Keesha over Dan) Let's hope it gets ugly in the house, otherwise Dan doesn't have a prayer. no pun intended...
I lol'd at your comment DP about the tie.
22 of 23 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on August 31, 2008 2:09 PM
Flipit, you need to go back and read this week of Feedcaps. Look for the fight after the POV Ceremony and find the links I posted to the Ollie meltdown. Along with the scenes you saw they are a few more. One where Ollie invites Memphis Nashville Knoxville to suck his **** about 5 times.
I didn't know cabbage patch dolls did that but maybe Ollie's mom got his at a different store than mine.
23 of 23 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on September 2, 2008 2:50 PM