Tonight on Big Brother, this is only the second most embarassing outfit the houseguests are being forced to wear.
After the nomination ceremony, Michele worries, because apparently "sometimes pawns go home". Hey, did you guys know Michael Jackson was dead? I mean, since we're all doling out valuable and lesser known nuggets of information, I thought I would contribute by notifying as many people as I could of this highly guarded, incredibly secret news. You heard it here first, people. In your FACE, Katie Couric!
Jessie explains that he didn't put up Ronnie because Ronnie hasn't really "hosed" him yet. Wait, is Jessie Canadian all of a sudden? Because I think Robin Sparkles might have something to say about that. Well, besides "Let's Go To The Mall", of course.
After the nomination ceremony, Jeff and Jordan conduct another meeting of the minds, which is to say that Jeff talks and Jordan pretends to listen while imagining what it would be like to meet Miley Cyrus. Jeff points out that Jordan's probably safe no matter what, since she's up against Michelle. She's also safe because she's the least threatening player in the history of this show, but Jeff doesn't point that out because Can A Guy Get A Little On Camera Action? Jordan responds by blatantly adjusting her boobs, which she does so much that I am beginning to believe that it might be some kind of Morse Code for her family at home.
After trying to get a little sympathy from Jeff with no result, Michele returns to the Have Not Room, where she finds Ronnie laying down. "It probably should have been me up there," Ronnie says unconvincingly. "I'm so emotionally drained!" he continues. Way to look for sympathy with the person who just went up on the block instead of you, idiot. You should be lucky she's giving you the time of day, since she's the person you turned into a scapegoat and blamed for all your terrible, ill-conceived schemes.
Ronnie then gives her some sage advice, which is to win the veto and use it on herself. He then tells her that if she gets the 'Houseguest's Choice' option when it's time to pick players for the veto competition, than he would definitely use it on her. She hilariously laughs in his face, which is exactly what he deserves, pointing out that he would also be safe if he won the veto. "Come on, Ronnie, I'm not that stupid," she says as she leaves the room, laughing to herself. She then heads into the kitchen, where she tells most of the remaining houseguests what Ronnie just told her. Russell sits there looking guilty, I guess because of his super-secret alliance with Ronnie.
Up in the HOH room, Ronnie talks to Jessie and Natalie, who confirm that everyone in the house still wants him kicked the eff out. Jessie tells him that Casey is at "the tip of the arrow" and leading the charge to get him evicted. However, Jessie has other ideas, ideas which involve Casey himself leaving instead. Ronnie is excited at this news, and gives them each one of his patented creepy hugs before calling them his, quote, "...brother from another mother and sister from another mister." Isn't the use of that phrase alone enough to make you want the guy off of your television? In mean, people who don't know well enough to be embarrassed when they use expressions like that, they make me feel like I just watched that video from The Ring, but in real life. That shit sends a chill down my spine, not even kidding. I keep waiting for my phone to ring, but instead of someone whispering "...seven days..." it's like, "...bling bling..."
Jessie tells us that he doesn't want Ronnie out of the house, so he's going to try and convince the others to keep him. We get a montage of Jessie telling various dolts in the house (Chima, Kevin, Lydia), that Ronnie isn't really a threat to them by making them admit that Ronnie wouldn't go after them if he won. Of course, none of these people even question why Jessie would try to convince them of this and make the connection that Jessie is aligned with Ronnie, they just sort of shake their heads dumbly in agreement.
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Comments (26)
Did anyone else notice CBS blur Casey's crotch during the POV comp???
And is it just me or does Ronnie look like he has downs syndrome when he smiles wickedly??? I dub the, Corky the Rat.
1 of 26 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on July 29, 2009 10:12 AM
I have to admit when I first saw Jessie was going to be on again this season, I almost didn't watch b/c I hated watching him that much last year. For whatever reason I was starting to warm up to him, but after this episode he just needs to go! Anyone that thinks they are totally awesome for scoring highly in a game that involved neither skill nor talent is an idiot. The truffles were simply the luck of the pick out of the mud puddle and Jessie preens and poses as if he's God's gift to Big Brother challenges. Funny how quickly he forgot how terribly he did at the spelling challenge which required at least a little bit of brainpower. HATE!
On a lighter note, I don't think I will ever tire of watching Robin Sparkles videos. Thanks Schoonie!
2 of 26 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on July 29, 2009 10:40 AM
Seeing a smoking banana made me laugh. I'm sorry...it was just funny.
What a coward Jessie is, that he can't even bring himself to answer Casey directly. If he thinks he's so manly and in charge, then he should own his actions. Good for Casey for being so direct. And good for Michelle for reading Jessie's plan. If only she would make it work for her...
3 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 10:48 AM
it's like the pot calling the kettle undignified. just made the o&w list.
4 of 26 | Posted by prissy | Posted on July 29, 2009 10:56 AM
I like the chloroform line and the double elimination line. Both of them made me laugh but the funniest words in your entire recap were, "...because Ronnie is a giant pussy..."
They heard me laugh out at the circulation desk when I read that.
I REALLY enjoy your recaps because there is an underlying hostility and anger to them that I can relate to.
I think the banana is done.
5 of 26 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on July 29, 2009 12:27 PM
So...the banana will split?
6 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 1:24 PM
booooooooooooooooooooooooo
7 of 26 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 29, 2009 1:35 PM
Yeah...I should probably apologize for that.
8 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 2:24 PM
Do you think he will make an a-peel to stay?
9 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 2:25 PM
Jesus, somebody get the hook!
10 of 26 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 29, 2009 2:34 PM
sorry. That last banana peel pun was just a slip...
11 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 3:12 PM
Let's see: Ronnie, Russell, Jesse, Natalie--is that it for the Athletes minus Jeff plus Ronnie group? And on the other side, Jeff, Jordan, Lydia, Chima (?), Michelle, Kevin. (I have already removed Casey.)
So remind me, why is it that the first group seems to be in control? The second group has two weeks to get it together, or they're toast. That is, if one of their lot doesn't defect.
One of them had better win HOH tomorrow. Jeff, Kevin, or Michelle, preferably. Lydia will probably side with Jesse, even though he is always dissing her and she hates Natalie.
12 of 26 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 29, 2009 3:19 PM
Chima is with the athletes too. As is Lydia, which means Kevin as well. Really it's just Jordan, Jeff and Casey versus everyone else.
13 of 26 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 29, 2009 3:37 PM
man, cattyfan sure has a bunch of banana puns.
14 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 4:17 PM
wth? that was me that left that last comment.
It's enough to drive someone bananas!
(sorry, schoonie)
15 of 26 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on July 29, 2009 4:40 PM
here4beer...how did you manage to use my name? LOL
And if ya think my banana puns are bad, you should here my apple ones. They're rotten to the core...
16 of 26 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 29, 2009 7:12 PM
Aww, you guys are all dorks what with your banana peel this and banana peel that. And I love you for it!
I have to admit that Jessie has, in an unwarranted fashion and without my permission, been growing on me as well. Ew, get him off, get him off!
As for Casey going home, last week I was on the "Ronnie-haters" side, but but apart from loving Jordan (every hilarious word and grope of her own tits makes me love her more) and thus, Jeff, the others are pretty much, meh, with no game play whatsoever. It seems like Mini Muscle and Ratalie are the only ones playing somewhat well, until they get out of power, that is.
Casey could have saved himself by winning the veto. Has he ever watched this game? He got the same treatment Jace from Season 7 got when James backdoored him for no reason. It was week three and everything.
Loving the editors cutting to Lydiot every time Jessie says Ratalie's name. Soo funny! Can't wait for that pentagon (I LOL'd lots at that one) of emotion to explode.
17 of 26 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on July 29, 2009 8:16 PM
has anyone in the house questioned Natalie on her age?? She claimed she was 18 the first day but no one has said anything about it since. She is actually one year older than Jessie (who spells his name the girl way)
18 of 26 | Posted by carol | Posted on July 29, 2009 8:34 PM
Glad Jessie's back because he makes me feel soooo smart. His abuse of the English language is just scary. What's going to happen to him when he's 34, flabby and still brain dead? Maybe he'll be standing outside Gold's Gym with an empty Muscle Milk can spouting " Hey, I won HOH on BB11 and almost won the Flying Pig Veto won't you help a celebrity out?". Can't wait for the Ratalie/Lydia/Russell/Chima implosion when they are finally on the block and being voted out. BTW is Jordan a real person? Thanks Schoonie for the LOLs.
19 of 26 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on July 29, 2009 11:36 PM
CAROL YOU BEAT ME TO THE PUNCH.
Also, does anyone else think Ronnie kinda looks like Susan B?
An ugly male version that has no talent whatsoever Susan B?
20 of 26 | Posted by Saueya | Posted on July 30, 2009 12:09 AM
Ok, you did not justify the stupid poses Jessie was making near enough. It drove me bananas when they camera would go to him, and he would make the 'Superman' pose after every tally. I actually liked him earlier on when he was toned down..now, he's beginning to show the idiocy of Jessie campaign again.
Oh, and also....he wore that outfit at the ceremony because he is a coward. He wanted to hide behind those glasses and hat. He knows he's being a rat lover.
Lastly, I really want to know from a male perspective..does Ratalie gross you out? Everytime she lifts her legs around the houseguests I always wonder about the smell on the bed. Not trying to be gross, but it IS gross to not take care of your hygiene.
Thanks for the great recaps..keep 'em coming. They are freaking high-larry-us. :O)
21 of 26 | Posted by alenewelkss | Posted on July 30, 2009 3:42 AM
Ratalie has zero appeal to me. I'd go for a showmance with the nerdy, wooden scientist chick before her.
Casey's a little annoying with his Vanilla Ice shit, but I'd rather see him there than most of the others. I hate it when BB gets involved with the gameplay - America's Player, cliques, etc. Let these tools duke it out and figure make their way themselves.
22 of 26 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on July 30, 2009 5:35 AM
Somehow my comments always seem to be following Dirty Sanchez's lately...sort of like the sloppy seconds of snark...ew.
Maybe the editors realized that Jessie was starting to redeem himself and almost seem likeable (at least in comparison to Ronnie), so they've generously thrown in plenty of reminders as to why he's a giant tool.
I really hope there's a BB reunion "where are they now" show in 10 years time, just to watch all the muscle turn to slop.
At this point I'm rooting for Jordan. And her adjustable tits.
23 of 26 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 30, 2009 7:03 AM
Delete me if you want but on the live feed Jessie just said he was put into special ed class, not because he was "special" but because he got into trouble alot. Yeah that's why they do it!Hahahahaha
24 of 26 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on July 30, 2009 11:29 AM
the best case scenario would be jordan winning HOH, because if jeff wins then none of the athletes can go up and if michele wins ronnie cant go up. so go jordan! i would have no problem with her going up because she is the only reason to keep watching this show
25 of 26 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on July 30, 2009 11:30 AM
I think that Kevin is starting to waffle about what side he's on. He made a comment to Jordan, I think, about Casey getting put up and it should have been Ronnie, or something like that. If Jessie and Russell stay true to Ronnie, it could lose them some of their allies.
I'm also getting the feeling that some of the athletes' allies are more loyal to Jessie and some are more loyal to Russell. There could be a split coming there.
(Bear in mind I was in the hospital with an ear infection and didn't watch the show tonight.)
26 of 26 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 31, 2009 2:09 AM