First of all, Julie is dressed all abstract and deconstructed with all these wacky lines all over the place, and she's had her hair cut. Do robots grow hair? Or did they just replace her whole head? Mysteries, they abound.
Julie does that thing that's my favorite part of the show where she tells us all about everything we just saw in the previouslies, and I am out of ways to make fun of how dumb it is at this point. So I guess just take my word for it? Julie then tells us that there's still some sort of excitement going on in the house, which we all know is wrong, because we segue into yet another flashback, this one involving Ryan's use of the veto. Look, James is on the block! I love how they accidentally backdoored him. Natalie tells us about how she's pretty sure she can win against anyone but James. Are we getting a little cocky, Natalie? Sharon tells us that she's pretty sure she can win if she gets to the Final Two. That one is probably true, given that all her friends are going to populate the jury.
James tells us that he's sort of out of options, so he's going to have to resort to taking down Natalie and making the whole house think she's two-faced. Which means that we've reached the point in the season in which it is time to invoke the Howie Clause, which is that when all else fails, you should be as mean as you possibly can to the person you hate the most, in such a way as to think that you are being clever when in reality you are making yourself look like a dumbass. James starts making fun of Natalie, and it looks like everyone is laughing at his stupid comments about how pale she is (is that really something to make fun of people about? I've never understood that), but it's obvious that it's misplaced editing. Then she comes outside and James goes for the kill by asking her why she hasn't worked out since Matt left. Ouch! And also really mean. I was hoping Natalie would be like, "I just haven't had time!" because you know she would totally say that, despite the fact that her day planner is like "Yeah, I'm seeing a free hour right here on the 10th between 'Stare at Matt's memory wall photo' and 'Count all the ceiling tiles in the house, then divide by eight'.
James calls her "big", and I can't tell whether it's in front of her face or not, but he's dumb. This show, always classy, then follows Natalie into the kitchen and shows her chowing down on a meal in excruciating detail. It doesn't really look like Natalie's gained that much weight to me. But then Natalie starts bossing everyone around, all "Laugh at him and I will vanquish you from this house!" which is how you can tell what James did kind of worked. Sharon comes outside and sits down with James all "Mommy said we're not allowed to laugh at you anymore."
Later, the boys are sitting in one corner of the yard while the girls sun themselves on the other side. James is throwing comments at Natalie, and Adam laughs at him. Natalie is like "Your ass is grass if you egg him on!" Methinks Natalie might be a little too big for her britches at this point. How does Adam sit there and take that? Natalie doesn't call the shots. Various discussions about how each gender needs to take the other out ensue. This is how you can tell that there is nothing going on, because it's obvious that they're struggling to make this interesting. Natalie's all "Girl power!" then talks about how it would be the first time in the history of BB that the final three was entirely composed of females. But Natalie, you're forgetting Ivette, Maggie and Janelle! Well, there's a good chance that one of them could maybe be a tranny (AT LEAST), so I'm going to let you have that.
I'm loving how there is absolutely no intrigue surrounding the eminent departure of James at this point, fifteen minutes into the show.
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Comments (11)
Natalie is getting on my last nerve. Who died and made her boss? When she sat there and threatened the people laughing with James that she was going to put them on the block, I was shocked nobody spoke up. She needs to go and if they are smart, she will be gone this week. Unless she wins HOH, then they are all in trouble. The girl is totally delusional. Someone really needs to knock her down a couple of pegs. I am still routing for Ryan to win.
1 of 11 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on April 10, 2008 5:18 AM
CBS should start having live feeds from the sequester house. That place is going to 1,000 times more interesting than the BB house, especially after James shows up. Poor Matty. If Chelsia, Josh, and James were that nasty and revolting when they were in the BB house, what do you think they're like now that they don't have to worry about playing the game?
I realize this is like declaring that rain is wet, but I hate Julie Chen. Sure she's screwing one of the head honchos, but can't they find a host that won't short circuit when an unrehearsed or unexpected statement is made?
2 of 11 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on April 10, 2008 5:46 AM
Oh Schoonie, you're so obviously straight. Ryan may sweat like a whore in church but it's only because without it the hotness of Ryan would be thrown out of proportion with laws of physics and Chenbot's head would explode trying to upload images of him.
It was quite hilarious to come back from a two-minute commercial and it looked like a tsunami had swept through his container.
3 of 11 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on April 10, 2008 5:59 AM
Okay Scarlet:
that "tsunami through his container" comment was really funny. I laughed out loud at that.
Natalie shouldn't threaten people with eviction to keep them in line. I don't think that's a smart move.
4 of 11 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on April 10, 2008 8:32 AM
If these people were smart (meaning Ryan, Adam or Sharon)...they would make a deal with Natalie and let her carry them to the end. There is NO WAY she'd win...maybe next to Sheila, but that's Natalie's only option and that's a big maybe.
I think Sharon, Ryan & Adam would definitely take 1st place next to her. Otherwise, one of the boys will most likely go home...it's really hard to tell who these people are really loyal to since everyone has a deal with everyone else.
I really want Sharon to go home this week!!! Maybe her fuuuuriends will make that happen for me...come on Guinea Pigs, start pulling your weight around the house! :)
5 of 11 | Posted by smolls | Posted on April 10, 2008 9:41 AM
I think the exact exchange between Natalie and Adam was "Keep this on the DDL diggity down low" to which he replied "Doggy low." Natalie then countered with a "doggy down low" or something to that effect. It was without a doubt the dumbest exchange ever on TV and I am infinitely dumber for having remembered it and typed it here.
6 of 11 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on April 10, 2008 10:58 AM
The whole thing with Nat really trying to set up Sharon, and James trying to get everyone against Nat was mainly because they thought this week was a double eviction week, so they wouldn't have time to campaign or anything.
I really really cannot wait to see the jury house footage next week when James walks in, mainly becaues of Chelsia's comment about seeing Nat there after Josh lol.
Sheila won't win against anyone, everyone else in the house should try to get to the final two with her.
7 of 11 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on April 10, 2008 12:30 PM
Natalie thinks a lot of herself and someone needs to take her down a peg. Who the f. does she think she is? She's annoying as hell and I am tired of all the "God-talk". Enough, bitch.
A question: I only started watching this half-way thru the season, but is Matt really that into Natalie. That trashcan seems obsessed with him. It's always "Matty-this" and "Matty-that". Wouldn't he have asked Chelsia about her when she got there instead of trying to get in her panties? What's going on?
8 of 11 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on April 10, 2008 3:03 PM
The tsunami comment made me laugh, too... and julie chen uploading hawt ryan. He is a cutie. I'd slap bellies with him any time..
Reese:
No, Matt isn't into Nat at all, yet the whole season she's allowed herself to think that his not wanting to hook up or ever be near her for long is him trying to focus on the game. He's told her multiple times he just wants to be friends, but she still doesn't believe him. Also, he's a big mean jerk to her. But she insists. I just knew he would say he wanted her to win b/c she would give him some of it..!! Jerk!
9 of 11 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on April 10, 2008 4:16 PM
"Counting ceiling tiles and divide by 8" Hee-hee! So, Natalie is feeling drunk with power and figures she has Christ on her side and now she's calling the shots! That's what happens when you have a filing cabinet in your head and you fight the righteous fight for Mattie. I still don't think poor crazy Natalie deserves all the shit she gets from Josh and that skeez bag Chelsia, man that is one dirty, gross girl.
10 of 11 | Posted by michele | Posted on April 11, 2008 7:35 PM
Grr! I even hate her stoopid name," Chel-see-aah". Too many fucking syllables. Bitch.
11 of 11 | Posted by michele | Posted on April 11, 2008 7:53 PM