Tonight on Big Brother, Memphis shows sick tendencies, Dan poses a lot, and Jessie sweats off even more weight.
RENNY'S GONNNNNEEEEE!!! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!! God bless her, when she got the news she acted like she won an Oscar.
Don't worship me until I've earned it, dowalings!
When we left off, there was a big fat sumo wrestler who looks very familiar looping Paddycake over and over again in Spanish. This show may occasionally bore us, piss us off, or thrill us, but it will always make us do one thing. THINK.
Keesha cries as she tells us how sad she is that Renny got the boot, and then she eats a cupcake. And a pot roast. Jerry, who has had a moment to readjust from Memphis' bitch slap betrayal, is patting himself on the back for not getting sent home last week because he was the HOH, even if the rest of his reign was unsuccessful. I know a bunch of you have the hates for ole Jerr, but I have to admit that I kinda like him. I appreciate long stories about cows and snakes and the Bible and I especially love when he starts nanny boobooing other countries with his hat.
If they'd a put me in a house full of gooks and I woulda had this thing won weeks ago.
And that time we got to see him work out with the rubber arm bands? Schwing! Memphis has peaked his fauxhawk as sharp as a razor today because he did what he set out to do. Congrats, you beat a woman with thirty years on you. Douche. Too bad Memphis wasn't on this show before he met his girlfriend, because I have a feeling I would have liked him a lot better. Let these pics serve as a lesson: stay single.
Before
After
Dan shouts at the cameras about having to get Renny out before the final two because there's no way anyone would beat her vote wise, and he's right. Unfortunately, he's right very, very loudly which means he will win. I watch Numb3ers and believe in percentages. Last year Moose won and before that was Evel Dick, two of the biggest mouths in TV history. One thing Groedner likes is a formula.
Keesha tries to cry as Renny leaves, but her jeans are too tight and if she moves her diaphram her head will pop off, so she just hugs her friend and concentrates on breathing. She tells us that Renny should never be in black and white because she's too much of a star and should always be in color. And wigs. And boas. Ok I seriously just need to let her go.
Memphis is glad that the Renegays live, but he's worried that his flighty parnter might put him on the block again and mess it all up. Don't worry, Cabbage Patch. I think when someone copies your hairstyle you are officially bff and they will never betray you.
Bad haircuts are thicker than blood.
Keesha is a little worried about Dan's win, because she's starting to sense that Dan might be closer with Memphis than with her. And you thought Hooter's waitresses were all morons.
After Dan wins the HOH, Jerry starts babbling about how it's a game and how camels only drink once a month and frogs wait patiently on a lily pad until something better floats by. He tells us that he feels like the whole house is always against him. Poor guy. Wait til he gets out and realizes the whole country's against him. His return to the local Luby's will be like that scene in Dangerous Liasons where Glenn Close gets booed out of the Opera House. Only hotter.
When the remaining HG's get back inside, Margaret Cho is sitting in the middle of the room without her shirt on to promote her new reality show.
I hope her mom comes on. She's hilarious.
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Comments (12)
Great recap flipit! HEART!
I kept waiting for someone to scream "damn that dorky gorilla reminds me of Jesse" before the sound effect. Oh that woulda been great!
Daniel-San (ode to the headband) must of heard me screaming in my living room, "pick Meeeechelle! Pick Me-me-me-mechelle!" It will be interesting to see if this works and swings a bitter jury vote his way or not but this is his only way of possibly changing that girl's mind.
I do think when he told the houseguests he could take any of them and chose not to, he should not have even brought up the fact about a jury member going.
And thanks for the fauxhawk pics. I was distracted with Dan's big bedhead hair and thought he should of given Renny another go at the scissors before she left
1 of 12 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:24 AM
Ah, Flipit on a Monday. Better than coffee.
Is it just me, or does the idea of an actual gorilla in a Jessie suit seem funnier? And scarier?
As for that Windows commercial: While it is a dead-on impersonation of an old "Seinfeld" episode, that's like commending the winner of the annual Elvis festival in Collingwood, Ontario (I shit you not) for being just like the original.
And those "Dan as CK model" screencaps had me laughing out loud.
2 of 12 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:40 AM
Flipit, I love you so hard! The Windows commercial thing and Jerry's guesses for the luxury competition MADE MY DAY.
3 of 12 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:00 AM
Flipit, I'd love you just as hard! Wait, that sounds dirty... I am with you, fauxhawks MUST STOP NOW. It's out of hand and if Jerry shows up with one then I'm gonna hack all my hair off altogether... and something tells me that Jesse liked being in the gorilla suit a little too much (can you imagine how funky that thing was after he got done with it?... double-ew).
I'm gonna miss Renny forever. *tears*
love you, though..
xoxox
J-Mo :)
4 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:22 AM
Margaret Cho wishes her boobs were that big.
Why did they bother putting Jessie in a gorilla outfit? Couldn't he have lumbered around and made unintelligible noises just as easily without it? I guess you expect it when you're in the BB house, but if someone goes barreling into my bedroom when I'm sound asleep they're going to end up with an anus full of my foot. Or a dirty sanchez, but I think Jessie might like that.
I would pay a fair sum of money to watch Dan and Michelle on their little vacay together. So much for it being a luxury item!
5 of 12 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:39 AM
Thanks for the speedy recap, as always, Mr. Flip!!!! Seems the tennis preempted everything in my parts, and I only caught a glimpse of the epi upon returning home (like 11ish, thanks CBS!) And why isn't Tivo smart enough to know when somethings been preempted and tape it when it shows later, or even, when it goes over 3 minutes . . . they used to try and make you think Tivo was so smart it would tape things for you that you like, uh huh, that's why it kept taping PTL in the middle of the night, coz it knew I was a devout sinner and needed redemption, Smart Tivo . . . or not!!!!
Well, I did pop on AD for a hot minute, to see if I would find out what I missed, and it was Jerry stomping back and forth in the yard, over and over . . . . really glad I've got Showtime!
sob, sniff, Renny . . . .sniff . . .
6 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 8, 2008 10:39 AM
Uh, I like Memphis "now" more than "before."
I really liked the spider eating the moth. That was really cool.
7 of 12 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on September 8, 2008 12:42 PM
I haven't finished reading the recap (awesome job, by the way, can't stop chuckling) but I just have to suggest something:
Maybe guys copying each others' hairstyle is akin to women getting into the same period cycle.
Just thinkin' out loud.
8 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 8, 2008 2:35 PM
GD I love Dan.. he is adorable and just makes me laugh and laugh. Sometimes I even like Memphis. I would love to see Keesha win veto, then vote Memphis out. Oh! I hope she grows a brain and figures it out! But I do want Dan to win it in the end.
9 of 12 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:24 PM
The entire recap was hilarious, especially the Margaret Cho part, and the houseguests' inability to read subtitles.
Memphis can't afford to win P.O.V. tonight. Then, he would have to vote out an ally. I think Memphis has either set himself up to win, or dug his own grave.
10 of 12 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on September 9, 2008 2:12 PM
mrsc: I might not have watched as carefully as I thought I did, but I'm pretty sure Dan did NOT mention anything about his opportunity to take a jury house member. I'm fairly certain the remaining houseguests all think he'll be on that island alone. Well...except for Jerry who thinks the jury is sequestered on some island and that's where Dan gets to go.
I would love to see Dan win and Big Brother have Dr. Will hand him the big check and pass Dan his "crown." This is certainly the best game play since the days of Dr. Will. IMHO
11 of 12 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on September 9, 2008 3:08 PM
Flipit: I hope I am not too late for you to see this. Is it just me, or is there a very clever reference to West Side Story on the last screen cap of Dan....I gotta know.
I love your recaps....what else will you be doing?
12 of 12 | Posted by Rachel | Posted on September 12, 2008 1:42 AM