Keesha calls them asses. Later, Dan tries to find someone to come fawn over his HOH room and see what ball busting pussy whipped prison bitch t-shirt his girlfriend sent over this time. There are pics of her everywhere, and Memphis tells us that Michelle and Rerun thought that Monica was fake, but he never "doubted the kid". Except for that time that "idiot" put him on the block. Everyone compliments the pretty family/girlfriend pics. Well, everyone but Jerry, who goes on and on about how fat Dan used to be. LOL. I wish I was there just so I could walk up to Jerry and flick his underarm back and forth.
It's just the gown. Or the tie. Or the fat.
Dan tells us that Jerry's a dumb shit and is terrible at getting on people's good sides. Aw, even butch loud straight guys get ruffled at the three letter word. The letter from home is from his parents.
Dearest Daniel Joseph Jesus Matthew Sam,
Please hurry up and win and get Monica out of our house. She's eating all our food and insisting we do her laundry, run her errands, and wax her back. One night we were trying to watch the show as she stood in front of the TV and screamed curse words and poked it with a branding iron, and when we mentioned how cute we thought Keesha was she turned the iron on us and we had to get a hotel room for two days until she calmed down. Tell Keesha and Memphis we love them and tell Jerry to stop wearing wife beaters.... Oh yeah. Your team lost. AGAIN. Love, Mom, Dad, and the Holy Spirit. Peace be with you.
As the HG's sleep that night, crafty PA's are putting the set together for the luxury comp, which involves a gorilla, a contortionist and a giant hot dog. Magically, Keesha is dreaming the exact same thing. The gorilla comes into the house and goes to the diary room, takes off his mask, and then starts putting all sorts of English words that don't go together in the same sentence. Jessie!!
Possibly sensing that he was a total dickwad the first time he was on TV, this time he's trying out a wacky, friendly personality complete with giant ears and goofy eyebrow positions. Good to see he hasn't gained back that six pounds he lost in the house, because I like seeing what his skeleton looks like under his skin. It's hot.
From the house. Not our hearts.
He tells us that it's time for a rude awakening, "and this time it's my turn! How's that sound...?" He almost nannyboobooed Renny, but she's gone. WAAAAAHHHHHH. We were robbed of our DISRESPECT montage. He puts on his mask and does a Walk Like an Egyptian dance, and then that "reinvigorating Microsoft" commercial with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates comes on where they're in a shoe store. Does anyone get wtf that ad is going for? I tried to Google info about it but then Windows crashed. Ah well.
Back from break, Jessie runs into everyone's rooms and wakes them up. Keesha jolts awake and asks where the hot dog is and then joins the other HGs in the backyard. Dan tells us how wacky the whole set up is but all I can hear are nipples.
Dustin is sitting at home right now feeling much less alone in the world.
Dan is openly turned on by the contortionist, and I hope he wins HOH one more time so I can hear Monica's letter. There are all sorts of clues in the yard. There's a diamond, an elephant, a statue, a spaceship...I imagine that this is how Renny's house is furnished. The game is to put the clues together to form a common phrase. When they guess, they ring a bell and go to the diary room and they get three hours. To the people who pay for the live feeds, I feel for you. The winner gets time out of the house and this challenge can possibly "change the game." The HG's start concentrating very hard on the clues. Especially Dan.
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Comments (12)
Great recap flipit! HEART!
I kept waiting for someone to scream "damn that dorky gorilla reminds me of Jesse" before the sound effect. Oh that woulda been great!
Daniel-San (ode to the headband) must of heard me screaming in my living room, "pick Meeeechelle! Pick Me-me-me-mechelle!" It will be interesting to see if this works and swings a bitter jury vote his way or not but this is his only way of possibly changing that girl's mind.
I do think when he told the houseguests he could take any of them and chose not to, he should not have even brought up the fact about a jury member going.
And thanks for the fauxhawk pics. I was distracted with Dan's big bedhead hair and thought he should of given Renny another go at the scissors before she left
1 of 12 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:24 AM
Ah, Flipit on a Monday. Better than coffee.
Is it just me, or does the idea of an actual gorilla in a Jessie suit seem funnier? And scarier?
As for that Windows commercial: While it is a dead-on impersonation of an old "Seinfeld" episode, that's like commending the winner of the annual Elvis festival in Collingwood, Ontario (I shit you not) for being just like the original.
And those "Dan as CK model" screencaps had me laughing out loud.
2 of 12 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:40 AM
Flipit, I love you so hard! The Windows commercial thing and Jerry's guesses for the luxury competition MADE MY DAY.
3 of 12 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:00 AM
Flipit, I'd love you just as hard! Wait, that sounds dirty... I am with you, fauxhawks MUST STOP NOW. It's out of hand and if Jerry shows up with one then I'm gonna hack all my hair off altogether... and something tells me that Jesse liked being in the gorilla suit a little too much (can you imagine how funky that thing was after he got done with it?... double-ew).
I'm gonna miss Renny forever. *tears*
love you, though..
xoxox
J-Mo :)
4 of 12 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:22 AM
Margaret Cho wishes her boobs were that big.
Why did they bother putting Jessie in a gorilla outfit? Couldn't he have lumbered around and made unintelligible noises just as easily without it? I guess you expect it when you're in the BB house, but if someone goes barreling into my bedroom when I'm sound asleep they're going to end up with an anus full of my foot. Or a dirty sanchez, but I think Jessie might like that.
I would pay a fair sum of money to watch Dan and Michelle on their little vacay together. So much for it being a luxury item!
5 of 12 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:39 AM
Thanks for the speedy recap, as always, Mr. Flip!!!! Seems the tennis preempted everything in my parts, and I only caught a glimpse of the epi upon returning home (like 11ish, thanks CBS!) And why isn't Tivo smart enough to know when somethings been preempted and tape it when it shows later, or even, when it goes over 3 minutes . . . they used to try and make you think Tivo was so smart it would tape things for you that you like, uh huh, that's why it kept taping PTL in the middle of the night, coz it knew I was a devout sinner and needed redemption, Smart Tivo . . . or not!!!!
Well, I did pop on AD for a hot minute, to see if I would find out what I missed, and it was Jerry stomping back and forth in the yard, over and over . . . . really glad I've got Showtime!
sob, sniff, Renny . . . .sniff . . .
6 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 8, 2008 10:39 AM
Uh, I like Memphis "now" more than "before."
I really liked the spider eating the moth. That was really cool.
7 of 12 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on September 8, 2008 12:42 PM
I haven't finished reading the recap (awesome job, by the way, can't stop chuckling) but I just have to suggest something:
Maybe guys copying each others' hairstyle is akin to women getting into the same period cycle.
Just thinkin' out loud.
8 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 8, 2008 2:35 PM
GD I love Dan.. he is adorable and just makes me laugh and laugh. Sometimes I even like Memphis. I would love to see Keesha win veto, then vote Memphis out. Oh! I hope she grows a brain and figures it out! But I do want Dan to win it in the end.
9 of 12 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on September 8, 2008 8:24 PM
The entire recap was hilarious, especially the Margaret Cho part, and the houseguests' inability to read subtitles.
Memphis can't afford to win P.O.V. tonight. Then, he would have to vote out an ally. I think Memphis has either set himself up to win, or dug his own grave.
10 of 12 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on September 9, 2008 2:12 PM
mrsc: I might not have watched as carefully as I thought I did, but I'm pretty sure Dan did NOT mention anything about his opportunity to take a jury house member. I'm fairly certain the remaining houseguests all think he'll be on that island alone. Well...except for Jerry who thinks the jury is sequestered on some island and that's where Dan gets to go.
I would love to see Dan win and Big Brother have Dr. Will hand him the big check and pass Dan his "crown." This is certainly the best game play since the days of Dr. Will. IMHO
11 of 12 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on September 9, 2008 3:08 PM
Flipit: I hope I am not too late for you to see this. Is it just me, or is there a very clever reference to West Side Story on the last screen cap of Dan....I gotta know.
I love your recaps....what else will you be doing?
12 of 12 | Posted by Rachel | Posted on September 12, 2008 1:42 AM