After the break we get a chance to chat with Jerry one on one. Mrs. Bot asks Jerry what prompted him to make a deal with Memphis after stating numerous times that he didn't trust him, nor did he find his slack-jawed yokel accent charming. Jerry replies, "well I'll tell ya, talking TV, I was running out of bodies." Mrs. Bot asks who Jerry would like to be sitting next to in the final two. When he is informed that his first choice of Lola Fillana is dead, he opts for Keesha. Jerry feels that he would have a good chance sitting next to Keesha and has a plan to win HOH and then POV after tonight so he can reach his goal. Of course neither of these things are going to happen for many, many reasons.

200809050150

Next up we finally get a glimpse into the Jury House. Keesha enjoyed her week of solitude, finally having time to catch up on her booty knitting and sassy head rolling classes, until April walks in. These two living together for an entire week would have made a great one-week sitcom, which is about how long it would last regardless.

The two wait with baited breath, (really, April ate some live bait to sustain her evil), to see who would join them next. Michelle flies through the door on her broomstick with a raucous "guess who got back doored?!" Of course Steven left weeks ago so they can only assume it's her. When Michelle pops in the DVD to show how she was able to shimmer into the Jury House, the first thing she says is, "wow I do look pretty on TV."

.....................

Yea, take a moment.

......................

I know, right?

Ioyhv

Anyway, the group watches the swinging vine HOH competition and never misses an opportunity to comment on how fat Keesha looks. It's good to see that high school never really ends, it just gets older and skankier. April reminds us that she has no respect for Keesha considering how well April maintained her dignity through the game while Keesha will have to live with her actions the rest of her life. Someone should tell April that she will also have to live with the baby that Ollie knocked her up with on national television for the rest of her life too.

April starts to tear up while watching her OlLEE-kins suffering while swinging on that rope. She states that it's a little difficult when you're in a relationship and the other person is still in the house. You know how that goes. When you're dating someone and you get kicked off the reality show but they're still on the reality show. You don't have to tell me. I lived it, honey. It was painful for me when I couldn't be with Puck anymore after he got kicked out of the San Francisco Real World house but we made it through. Puck, you're my rock, honey. I love you. I'll be home at 8.

After seeing Dan backstab Ollie and backdoor Michelle, all of the ladies are visibly angry with Dan. April can't stand his dishonesty, akin to plucking out all your eyebrows and then drawing them in to fool people into thinking they're real. Keesha can't believe his selfishness, something like taking a trip over a letter from your children. Michelle is flummoxed by his duplicity, like someone who would consistently change sides by screaming at an old man one week and then being his best friend the next.

200809050154
Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Hover through the fog and filthy air. Bwahahahahahhaaa!!!

When the next houseguest is about the arrive all of the ladies hope that they see Dan walk through the door so they can evoke the power of three on his ass, but are shocked when they get the complete and total opposite, Ollie. April is thrilled to see Ollie, although disappointed that she's stuck dating another poor guy. Ollie didn't forget the question he posed in his recorded goodbye to April, and immediately asks her for an answer to whether she will be his first girlfriend. April agrees since them cameras are on her. Ollie then makes side deals with Libra and Michelle making them numbers 2 and 14, respectively. Michelle and Libra are happy for April and Ollie but are also visibly upset that there won't be a dry spot to sit in the house for quite some time.

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Comments (23)

Baxter:

Great Recap! Loved April discussing how she is walking away with her self respect. If self respect is basically making porn on live TV then I want to live in her world.

Dirty Sanchez:

Wow, the Bitter Jury House did not disappoint. Yes Michelle and April, Keesha is an ugly, fat pig and no man would ever pick her over you two charming beauty queens. If having your dignity equals getting knocked up on reality TV and 20 Youtube videos of you getting spooged on, then you've got that going for you! Don't worry, those are tears of joy that your parents are crying every day.

It was Libra, not Keesha, in the BJ House with the other two.

cattyfan:

So Sumo Guy is sitting on the information they need. Just wait a few hours, then lay down a trail of doughnuts. I'm pretty sure Sumo Guy will follow them wherever they may lead.

tigercub:

I know you are in love with Rennie and all, but you didn't even mention that her veto speech was so rambling,long and incoherent that I had to flip to another channel and watch another entire show and when I came back she was still talking...

And some of us DO find Memphis' accent charming! But maybe that's 'cause I'm from Canada and we don't get to hear that sort of thing often.

fozziebare13:

I must be a smitten kitten because I didn't even notice. Every word was like a snowflake falling from heaven, being licked by kittens, on top of space mountain, while I was getting laid.

trink621:

"Before going to commercial Julie informs us that there is something surprising waiting in the living room before showing a picture of what I think is Amber from season 8." ROFL What makes it even funnier is that you're right!!!

Did anyone else notice that Renny practically jumped on Keesha to hug her during their drunk "I love you man" talk? It was a bit uncomfortable to watch. (but I still love you,Renny)

I think Renny should do a sitcom remake of Laverne and Shirley. She could play Shirley's cousin from New Orleans.

foxbasealpha:

Hope Jerry sticks around longer so the houseguests can hear more stories about Hissy the Snake.

JasonR:

Fozzie, every season, even a pretty good one like this one, when we get under 5 HG's it gets pretty slow, so your hilarious recaps are even more appreciated. So many gems in this one. It's obvious the producers hate April, given that out of all the hours of footage and interviews they probably did in the jury house they picked only clips that emphasize what a C-U-Next Tuesday she is.

God help Libra and Michelle, now that April and Ollie don't have 24/7 cameras to restrain them at all.

Dirty Sanchez:

Jason - I didn't want to be the one to say it, but C-U-Next Tuesday is the most appropriate adjective in the world for April. I put the over/under for the number of guys at her work that have banged her at 15.

Everyone says that Dan has no shot in the final 2, but I think if he can articulate how his gameplay got him that far he might be able to get the votes of the more stable jury members. Michelle, April and Jerry are a lost cause, but he might have a shot with the less psychotic and bitter voters.

Mr Dangerous:

PAGE 3: from the point where you start talking about what's happening inside the BJ House to the end of the page --- was very funny. I was laughing at that stuff.

Uh, I don't know why all you people are attacking my girl April? She was gettin' some luvin'. She has needs. There's nothing wrong with that. If we're going to call out people who've had sex in front of other people -- who amongst us wouldn't be called a whore, a skank or a skeeze?

And what's up with Jerry? I liked the old Jerry. The one who would get into a yelling match at the drop of a hat. The one who wasn't even sure someone had insulted him or not -- but was yelling just in case. Now, he seems like a prison b*tch. Somebody needs to slap that old man.

Go Dan. Go Memphis. Go Keesha.

juddfan:

Wow, everything is funny to me today, despite my desperate sadness at seeing Renny go . . . "I love you Man" made me weep, And Fozzie, your post here is hysterical, like all your recaps!

So glad to be spared anymore camera time with Ollie, and I loved the Keesha bashing in the JH, too funny!

My end got cut coz of the Hooter's hater--or was it her secret lover, ahem, I mean, running mate . . . I dunno, hate to be ignorant, but I can never ever watch a convention ever ever ever . . . no, it wont happen and you can't make me . . . . esp when there's so many educational choices like all the programs on gasm!

And lastly, whoever gets POV is in top 3 so Jerry could make it, Seems Dan is hated by all, can't see him winning. I suppose the best strategy in this show is to be side man to the evil one, let them take the hate and the heat, while you bask in the sidelines and settle for people's vote coz they hate your buddy worse! Who knew Memphis was on to something . . .

DP Hooker:

Michelle is delusional. I could't believe she said she looked good on TV. Watching her be a bitter bitch just reinforced the fact that she will always be single.

It cracked me up when she jumped into Ah-leee's arms before April did.

Baxter:

Mr. Dangerous I don't think anyone is attacking April. If she wants to dog out other people for having "no self respect" then she is fair game.

mikeleeuk:

How has nobody commented on that photo of Memphis? I mean, SERIOUSLY.

suckitbitches:

I'll happily attack April. She is a C-U-Next-Tuesday.

I feel sorry for Rennie having to live with those people for the next two weeks. She dosen't deserve that horrible fate!

cattyfan:

Even if they hate Dan, they should acknowledge his superior game play.

Oh...I'm sorry. I forgot the Bitter Jury House People we were dealing with.

Doesn't matter that he was the best player. Most of these egotistical selfish people will never admit that.

Evergreen:

Maybe it was just my brain trying to make sense of the Sumo wrestler but it seemed he was speaking pig latin. ook-lay under-ay y-may ass-ay.

Speaking of asses, I don't understand why the jury house folks still pretend to be nice to each other. You don't need their votes anymore. Libra should have slapped down Wolfman and Evil April (reminds me of the Cappie cult)for their jealous high school behaviour. Grow the hell up and act your age April. 45 is too old for those comments. At least Renny will add some class to the joint.

itchy:

The before and after photos of Memphis proves that he is in love and is faithful.

Dan would probably win if this were Survivor, but these people are too stupid to recognize that it's his superior gameplay that got him this far -- his only chance to win is to go up against Jerry, because there's no way anyone could possibly let that asshole win. Memphis and Keesha just don't seem hated as much.

bitchristine:

Nooooooooooooooo, I really wished Renny could have stayed, my favorite by far. She was kooky and funny and overall just seemed like a good person - even it's sappy - I would have loved to see her win because she at least seemed to be a decent human being.

Fozzie, the Sumo / Amber-flashback caption is hysterical!!!!

Yes Trink621 I did see how Michelle leaped into Ollie's arms before April had the chance to - it just goes to show what a self centered literal ass-face Michelle is - something we have seen all along on the show.

"Back at Julie, the Chenbot poses the question if there is more to Memphis than meets the eye. The answer is no." RIGHT ON FOZZIE!!! Even though I think Dan is a huge tool, my spite for Memphis is even greater. I hope Memphis does not win. I don't see a lot of Memphis-bashing here, which I find surprising because he is so vile and vapid. Love his best friend's matching V-neck and hat. What a fucking riot!

And April going on about leaving with her dignity as compared to Keesha, oh my. Perhaps April will realize someday that she asked a practical stranger to blow a load on her on a network show!

PanamanianPettingZoo:

FozzieBare: "Next up we finally get a glimpse into the Jury House. KEESHA enjoyed her week of solitude, finally having time to catch up on her booty knitting and sassy head rolling classes, until April walks in."

I keep thinking "Keesha" is the black name on the show too.

ffooter:

FozzieBare:

Brilliant as usual. You forgot to mention Rennie's comment about the tragedy in her life. What do you guys think that was? Does it have to do with her mother who died. The mother that is caputured as a 30 something 40's movie star?
Did Rennie have cancer?
I will miss her terribly! She was a class act!

itchy:

Oh, another thing...kudos to Keesha for the great cleavage this time out.

Although, of course there was no way in hell the guys would vote her out while wearing that getup. It's doubtful they were even able to hear.

Wonder what she'll be wearing for the veto comp?

Sigh. If only she weren't so thick. Sigh.

blazergirl:

ffooter - I was assuming the tragedy Renny talked about was Hurricane Katrina. I'm sure that for those of us that weren't living in the midst of it have no idea how horrific it really was. Anyway, that's what I thought of when she mentioned it.

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