Wonderful recap! I loved the whole "I'M SO CURRENT" thing.
Laughed like crazy!
I didn't watch this episode, but thanks to your recap, I don't need to do. (Thank God -- your recaps are so much better than watching the actual show.)
:)

I watched the first half of this episode, but then my roommate started whining so I let him put on cartoons. Thanks for the quickie recap. You guys sure are punctual when it comes to Big Brother. And yeah, your recap was way the hell better than the actual show. I don't know why I bother watching it at all. I'm actually pulling for Michelle at this point, cause, well, she's a neuroscientist and us geeky science broads have to stick together. I don't actually LIKE anyone this season though... Sad.

Awesome job, now will the REAL Slim-Schoonie please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

I cannot believe what dumbasses Jeff and Jordan are. Exactly what about Kevin makes him trustworthy to them? Because he plays huggles with them? He was BFFs with LITERALLY ALL of the wackjobs who absolutely hated them and were trying to get rid of the two of them. Plus that stupid T-shirt made him look like he had silver bikini boobs.

Also, Ratalie is still annoying as fuck.

love, J-Mo :)

I think BB is taking a little artistic license with the editing, because there is no way that J&J are retarded enough to believe that keeping Kevin and the she-Russell will be beneficial to them.

Russell gave them a completely honest answer - lets get to the Final 4 and the game will begin. What's Jeff want to hear, that no one has ever thought about evicting him? I think his case of the blue balls is affecting his gameplay.

I totally agree with Dirty Sanchez. That show last night was an editor's show. It makes me very curious to read from the live feeds and see what really went down.

Awesome recap!!

this is kind of an inane detail, but i think russell won the poker game, didn't he?

i only ask because i was super confused and had to watch that part twice to reach that conclusion.

You guys already know I hate Jeff, so any moves he makes to actively lose the game are all-right by me!

Language City, Russell did win the poker game, but got mad when Nat made her comment about that not being how you play for real money.

Also, regarding the Natalie age lie, is that even relevant? I mean, it doesn't seem as if anyone really cares at this point and if they put the things together that she says, they'd probably realize she's been lying all this time about it. At this point in the game, it's just dumb and wouldn't impact alliances all that much. I'm not even sure it would at any point.

Great recap, Schoonie. Kevin is so current We're 1988, He's 1998. Ugh.

Jeff is a moron. A cute moron with nice pecs, but still a moron. He must realize that no matter how "truthful" Kevin and Natalie are, the jury is rigged with their friends and there is no way he could win the money. Hush Jordan and make cute kitten faces, hon, because you are confusing the poor man with your strange breasts and stranger logic. Why on earth would you trust Kevin and Natalie over Russell? B/C you knocked off all their friends one after another and managed to make Chima go up in a blaze of hair? These people scare me.

I'm with DirtySanchez, clearly Jeff has been deprived of oxygen to both heads for too long. Russell was completely honest with him. Of course he has a final four with Michelle. This house is full of fools.

Jeff won that poker hand, both Ratalie and Russell went all in. Neither beat jeff's but Russell beat Ratalie's. Ratalie was just pissed cuz Russ caused her to lose more than she would have if he hadn't been betting crazy. But Russ's hand was better than Rat's. That is what Russ was saying.

slutty_whore:
Ok I have to admit you are correct. Jeff has now become the biggest jerk in the house. He is really beng hateful to Michelle for no reason, and his new friendship with Ratalie is a bad judge of character.

I thought the porno gardener montage with Kev's comments was disgusting, it made me throw up my Monster drink and Swiss Cake Rolls!

thanks Schoonie for the 'cap.

I'm glad Jordan isn't giving IT up. Good for her.

I can't believe Jeff would get rid of Russell before Natalie and Kevin. That would just be stupid.

Thanks for the early recap.

My BB11 experience is incomplete without your recaps! THANKS!

Loved your reference to the Great Gazoo!

It's amazing how Jeff's niece captured Lydia's likeness in her drawing! Thanks for pointing it out!

Cute episode but I cringed when Jordan made the comment about being in Jeff's suitcase to go to Hawaii. Talking about the reality guy that killed his wife and put her in his suitcase. I think Jordan will cringe too when she gets out and plays catch up.

Soapboxxx.... it's just abundantly clear Jeff isn't thinking clearly and overthinking the game because too much power has gone to his head. Because this jury is going to be emotional and not reward gameplay (no gameplay this season should be rewarded, seeing how the season has shaken out), you want to go to the end with someone as equally disliked by the jury as you are. Jeff has to take Russell to the end because Russ is the only other person who has offended as many people. If Jeff turns on Russ in favor of Kev/Nat, you guarantee losing Russ' vote and possibly Michelle's vote. If you assume Lydia and Jessie's votes are already gone, there's really nothing Jeff can do to win. That's OK in my book.

Kevin for the win.

I love how BB didn't even bother using the full word "chitterlings," but instead spelled the word how people say it: "chitlins."

Jeff and Jordan are idiots if they take Natalie and Kevin over Russell and Michele. It will insure that even if one of them makes it to the final two they will lose, because those in the jury house that aren't friends with Kevin and Natalie will be enemies of Jeff and Jordan.

they are so so stupid. the only slight reasoning i can think is they want to get Russ out so that Jordon and Jeff can dominate the rest of the competitions...but jeff can't play next week and Kevin has come way more close to winning than russ has...so even when i try to make sense of it...it still doesn't make sense!

but maybe they're thinking win comps and they could beat kev and natalie at the end which means jeff and jordon would go to F2?

I still think they should get rid of KEvin this week and Russel next week. Then they can maybe dominate natalie and michelle...but michelle has won stuff too!!

i understand natalie to final 3 and then they will beat her, but they are making the russell move way to early.

I'm willing to give Jeff the benefit of the doubt, because unlike the other clowns, he never really gives away any of his strategy in the DR, or elsewhere for that matter.

There's just no way possible that none of them --especially Michelle or Russell -- haven't realized that they can't keep either Ratface or Kevin in the final two, simply because the jury house will be way stacked in their favor.

Even more so because I don't think they realize that HiroChima isn't in the jury.

It's definitely in both Michelle's and Russell's interests to point this out to J&J, just to make sure.

I'm still disappointed in Michelle...her floater strategy has gotten her this far (and she always seems to pull off an HOH or POV win when it's really necessary), but I still don't see her making the behind-the-scenes moves she could be making.

Also, I don't get where Jeff is treating Michelle badly?

And I'm still hoping that Jordan is only playing dumb -- she certainly went toe-to-toe with Michelle the other day, didn't she?

"And I'm still hoping that Jordan is only playing dumb ".

Itchy, the girl cannot tell time. If she's playing dumb, she needs to stay out in L.A. and start her acting career.

But...suppose all of that has been part of her act?

Look, she's smart enough not to bed down with Jeff on national tv.

You just know that Michele would have hit all the guys, and most of the girls, if she weren't married.

Anyway, Jordan's thighs are just getting too thunderous for my taste these days. While Michelle is almost becoming...attractive.

@itchy

Correction: Jeff doesn't give away his strategy...because he doesn't have one.

I see where your coming from but that numskull has been playing haphazardly since the beginning of this show.

1- Rather than aligning with his clique, he rather eye-fuck the silicone-ridden blond chick in the house. Note: his clique dominated the HOH competitions. They actually won 2 out of 3 or something like that.
2- He got the coup d'état because of America's infatuation over "pretty people". That's not strategy. That's pure luck!
3- Half of the time, he never really thought anything through and blamed Ronnie for half of his problems in this game plan.

We're not looking at the biggest strategist in big brother. We're looking at a tool who got lucky.

If anyone has a plan...it's Russell. Playing the bat-shit crazy card will get you to the end. Your so crazy people want to go up against you for the final 2.

Whatever...I'm just talking like this because I don't like Jeff.

There I said it.

I don't think it's her wedding ring that has kept Michelle from hopping in the sack, I think it's the 20 cameras in every room. Poor little nerdy girl can barely keep from wetting herself whenever Jeff or Russell give her any attention.

Props to Jordan for playing hard to get, although I don't imagine Jeff will have too hard of a time finding someone to head off to Hawaii with him. And to put out.

Loved the recap!!!
LOL-ed at the whole "Jeff's niece's picture is actually of Lydiot" AHAHAHA!!!
I feel I need to come to the defense of the bowl cut. I had one too and I looked pretty sweet for a 4 year old!

Well, even I would go to Hawaii with Jeff and "put out" but I really have no desire to talk to him or spend any time with him outside of the make-out sessions. So if someone is making a list put me down on the list as "willing" but "with conditions."

Tyra... ITA with your assessment. Now that Jeff has to think for himself, he is proving to be out of his league. But, if he chooses to side with Nat and Kev, he chooses to lose even if he makes it to the end. He will have turned on two alliances (the original clique and Russ/Michelle) and given those in the jury house an actual person to vote for, rather than choosing the lesser of two evils (Jun v. Alison BB4, Ivette v. that chick BB6, the Donatos, etc.) The list goes on and on.

This indeed was an editor special...that whole conversation in the HOH room and in the yard took place last week before they evicted lydia. I really hate when they do that and make it look like this is what is currently happening.

Russ did make a good point. Of course he is planning on taking out jeff when they get to the final four. Why wouldn't he? they didn't show a lot of that, but russ made a great point and really was the voice of reason. Now who knows though. I find it really strange that they are right on the edge of figuring out why it doesn't make sense (the "lie"), but they don't go the one step further by saying "the reason it doesn't make sense is because kevin made it up". I don't get it....they are right there...push through and see what is happenng.

I loved the dumb or dummer thing...on another site that recaps the feeds, that is the nickname for them...totally appropriate! LOL

Tyra, you're probably right about Jeff... I find him fairly uninteresting, personally, but since there's not a lot else to root for in this crew...

I've been on and off Russell's side a few times...he's another one who often seems on the verge of a decent strategy, then just blows it by being an idiot. I don't really believe he's trying for the 'villain' win though. Probably his inconsistency is the result of steroid withdrawal.

@tyra

2- He got the coup d'état because of America's infatuation over "pretty people". That's not strategy. That's pure luck!

I get that you don't like Jeff, but the majority of America does. He didn't just win because he was attractive, otherwise Chima/Jesse/Jordan could have possibly won it. It's because he is likable to a lot of people in America.

Just thought I'd put in my two cents.

@ Heygirl.... Jeff won the wizard power because he has gotten a favorable edit this entire season and he and Jordan are the only two HGs this season to have done so. While everyone has been shown with their shades of gray (acting good, acting badly), they have genuinely been given a positive edit. America (if we can even be sure since we'll never know the # of text messages all of the HGs got) voted for the "good" edit versus the "attractive" person. My guess would be Jordan came in second place, but was seen as too stupid to actually use the power.

Except, if you read the feeds, the edit theory doesn't wash, since Jeff (and Jordan) come off as the least obnoxious of all these people. And some of the others are actually far worse than their own edit revealed. Chima's edit, for example, was far more generous than it should have been.

Although of course someone has to get the good edit, what would reality TV be without that?

I could argue that Jeff has expertly played a "good guy" strategy, generally avoiding conflict, adopting a handicapped puppy (Jordan), creating a believable showmance, apologizing when he's done wrong (the fag comment) and not repeating that mistake, and building up alliances without overtly manipulating anyone.

And THAT'S why he was given the power. Why would anyone vote for a nasty character? (Unless, of course, you're a Republican...)

Since the Coup d'etat existed before this season, and Big Brother often uses external manipulation like this, all of the houseguests should have been equally aware that this 'power' existed and could have adapted their game play accordingly. None of them did. Except Jeff.

@ Itchy, I would agree with you if the last ep, where Jeff showed that his plans of taking Nat/Kev over Russ/Michelle was his eventual goal. He may be a nice and affable guy in real life, and I don't doubt it, but his strategy is horrible and now that he has to think for himself, he is proving that he can't. In terms of BB, it's fine to turn on one alliance (all of the people in the final 6 had to at one point) and those in the jury house expect that, but to turn on two alliances is basically signing over the $500k check to the other person you're sitting next to in the Final 2.

I enjoy reading all of your comments and would like to chime in, but all I am focused on is my distaste for that dirty little street urchin, Natalie. Oh my how I have hated her the most throughout the entire show. Please, please, please can she leave this week?!??! I can't stand how she looks and anything that comes out of her mouth is idiotic and childish. No wonder they don't question that she is 18 (even if they are all stupid anyway). If that pretty boy back-doors Russell and that human piece-of-crapalie stays, I will be so sad to have to see her for at least another week. Please be gone dirty hose-bag.

Will they show Jessie / cLamYDIA from the jury house this evening?

I'm with you on the Rathalie contempt. I suppose she'd be cute if she made any attempt at femininity (I've known bull dykes more feminine than she is). But she doesn't. And she's an idiot. And she has the high-pitched nearly non-inflected whiny voice that drives me crazy.

I decided not to read the feeds this week, since this show is so sorely lacking in interest, I might as well preserve what little suspense there might be.

So we'll see who's right about Jeff. He's definitely on dangerous ground -- no one should want to go to the final two with him either.

I think Jeff did a good job of playing the nice guy (and maybe he is one), but I think America voted for him because they knew he would nominate two of the people that America hated/hates.

The big thing I object to with Jeff is that he is acting so stupid. He is going to put people on the jury in a way that will make them hate him. First, Russell, then Michele. Kevin and Natalie will go next, and who knows what side they'll come down on. That will leave him with the cute li'l puppy dog who needs money to keep her family from getting kicked out on the street.

Of course, that's if things go the way he is planning. If Michele, Natalie, or Kevin win HOH (and Jeff can't compete this week) or POV, that could go out the window, though Michele might be dumb enough to do what Jeff tells her to do.