Immediately after Jen and Parker's eviction last week, all of the houseguests rush to the memory wall to find that the two evicted houseguest's pictures were already grayed out. Matt comments that the producers don't wait two seconds since Jen and Parker left less than two minutes ago. Two minutes is more than two seconds. He does know that right?
In Beeg Bruhta, yer eizah een or yar aut. Later Heidi.
Allison continues to conduct the crazy train stating that she is glad that Jen is gone since Ryan deserves better than Jen and she will now have a chance to work on their relationship. She states this while stroking a furry white cat and wearing a monocle. A lot of other houseguests make comments that it was really sad to see Parker go since he was a good guy with some killer chronic, however no one seems to miss Jen.
"It doesn't say 'Ryan's partner' on my right boob for nothin'. No not the writing you see on TV. I carved it in with an old fork last week."
With mallternative couple James and Chelsia in control we can be sure that there will be plenty of Hot Topics clothes and non-stop rocking out hard core to Blink 182. Alex isn't happy about the HOHs and blames Amanda if he gets nominated since she made everyone hate their team with her constant gossiping and horse-faceyness. Amanda admits that when James and Chelsia won the HOH competition she threw up in her mouth a little but doesn't mention that she also let a little pee slip out and cut one and blamed it on the dog.
The entire situation is no no bueno. Natalie feels safe that she and Matt won't be nominated, for no other reason than blind trust in God and bikinis. Allison assumes she is safe because Chelsia still thinks she is a lesbian and lesbians have never been targeted or subject to persecution. Josh thinks he's safe because James and Chelsia's dads are still alive and that's A-OK in his book.
Nothing's more punk that jazz hands.
The houseguests come into the house to find all of the cups missing as if someone were building a very small fort. The houseguests discuss what kind of flatware can be used as an alternative and after everyone votes no on plates and forks they decide to use bowls for drinking. Matt has the epiphany of the evening when he states, "cups are a very essential part of life. We use them for drinking and what not." That's very good Matt. Now what do we use a chair for? Cha-ir.
"Ch.....ch......cha.....chair!"
Later James assures Matt that he will not be on the block this week. Chelsia and James both give Matt their outsider, tattooed, punk word that Matt and Natalie are safe but Matt obviously doesn't completely trust the two since he looks into the camera and says "You got that right?" They got that Matt. They also got you picking your underwear out of your crack, kissing yourself in the mirror and checking out Alex's boredom woody.
"I see all as well. You're all gonna die in this house. DIE!"
Josh wants Sharon to trust him so he wants to be honest about everything. He tells her that dishwater blond is not his natural hair color, that he's actually a top and also shares the fact that Allison and Sheila are lesbonaunts.
Like everyone in on the fake secret Sharon thinks that it all makes sense now and double negatively states that you can't trust no one in the house, meaning you can trust someone in the house. She also states that she don't want none unless you got buns hon, which means that she in fact does want some.
"O god, I just pictured the scissoring. OOhh and they're both eating cold cuts. Make it stop."
It's time look at the HOH room! Chelsia is thrilled that there is no chance she will be put on slop and the fact that she gets a bubble bath in which to cleanse her infected belly button piercing. Once in the room James and Sharon both get pictures of their loved ones including Chelsia's family and cat and a pictures of James' big, black sex cop from Immoral Oral 6. Natalie mentions that James' sister looks like a model and wonders what the hell happened to James.
« Make Me a Supermodel: Snakes on a Frame | | Survivor: And Now, a Special Announcement »
Comments (13)
Fozzie I love your recaps! Always make me laugh. And you're so right about it being Blanche Devereaux's bathroom lol. Who styles that house??
After two seconds of watching the drunken hook-up of Chelsia and James I felt so dirty that I had to burn my clothes, my couch, my tv, and my poor cat who happened to see it too. Between that and the talk of Allison and Sheila being 'lovers' my sex drive is gone for a long time.
Honestly there's no one in that house I want to see hooking up. Except maybe Ryan and Amanda, they'd be cute and at least Amanda would let Ryan keep his manhood, unlike Jen.
I hope Matt and Nat don't win the PoV and are out this week. He's a raging sexist and she's a dimwit, I can do without that.
1 of 13 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on February 25, 2008 12:22 PM
awwwwwww I thought the Chelsia and James thing was cute. He looked so happy cuddled up next to her. I like them, even w/ his shady past...
2 of 13 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on February 25, 2008 12:57 PM
Doesn't Chelsia have any self-respect? James is ick-y. I would date one of the pretend lesbians before James. Chelsia is going to end up with a social disease. Step 1) She should spray LYSOL over her entire body.
3 of 13 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on February 25, 2008 1:33 PM
Why was James's right arm blurred out? I feel like this was the first episode where this was the case. Judging by the picture above of his boy-on-boy action, it doesn't appear to be anything offensive.
4 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on February 25, 2008 1:39 PM
DP Hooker, I was wondering the same thing. What the hell is that tatoo? Based on the screencap, doesn't it look like a priest dreaming of gay sex or something? Any live feed or Showtime watchers wanna enlighten us?
I'm sure Chelsia will be thrilled when she gets out of the house to find out what preceded her tongue in James's mouth. Gag!
5 of 13 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 25, 2008 2:39 PM
"it doesn't appear to be anything offensive."
really?? it's a tattoo of a priest about to shoot himself because he's thinking homosexual thoughts about what could be construed as a much younger (maybe too young?)person...gee what's not offensive about that?
6 of 13 | Posted by spike22 | Posted on February 25, 2008 2:52 PM
Spike -- haha ok maybe i am a moron. to be honest, i didn't study the tattoo like the zapruder film, i just glanced at it in the picture above and saw a guy and a cross and didn't look closely at the little thought bubble.
but wasn't it not blurred out in earlier episodes? maybe cbs examined it as closely as me at first and then realized what its implications were.
7 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on February 25, 2008 3:02 PM
ok at first i liked chelsia, but then i realized she has dumb hair, a dumb name, and she is always yelling, ALWAYS. but i LOVE amanda, and i hope she stays, even though alex is the creepiest of creeps
8 of 13 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on February 25, 2008 7:33 PM
The recaps are better than the entire season so far. Matt being distracted by something shiny -- funny. Is it me or does he look like a lost member of New Kids on the Block?
9 of 13 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on February 26, 2008 6:52 AM
What was with the freaky, squeaky voice James was using to try to lure Chelsia into bed and to cuddle? TOTALLY weird, unappealing, and unattractive. I feel bad for Chelsia.
Also, as to Matt and Natalie -- didn't they already mess around quite a bit, if you get my drift? (I read that somewhere -- maybe on realityblurred).
Can't wait for tonight's episode!
(I also think your trashing on Sheila's age is pretty damn funny ...and I'm 40!!)
10 of 13 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on February 26, 2008 1:54 PM
Eww, James and Chelsia....she's gonna freak when she sees video of his past, uh, encounter. LMAO!! I hope all those people got checked for STDs because from what I've seen and read about what is going on in that house.... but it seems so forced and fake. Like the 2 chicks(Chelsia and Natalie I think) making out with each other, like duh, who cares, it's so common now. They are totally just trying to be the "wild free-spirited girls" Gag. I mean we've all gotten drunk and crazy, but to do it on national TV?
11 of 13 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on February 26, 2008 2:17 PM
"Later Natalie goes to take a bubble bath in Blanche Deveraux's bedroom..."
OK - I almost spewed Diet Coke all over my monitor when I read this! That has to be one of the best lines ever used on TVgasm!!!!!! I think I just fell in love with you, Fozzie! If someone else has already talked about this, sorry, but I had to react. I haven't even finished reading the whole post yet, but I had to give some love to my Golden Girls!!!!
Lova all you Gasmii!
12 of 13 | Posted by WillWorkForGossip | Posted on February 27, 2008 6:30 AM
See that Fozzie, your words have killed WillWorkForGossip, just liked they killed me when Gabby brought issues of Black Inches to the hospital for her visit with Felicity!
This is a very strange show to experience by only recaps--But I so love you and Flip it, I would read your shopping lists!!!
13 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 27, 2008 5:16 PM