With Moose and Sharon on the block this week, Natalie thinks she's is totally safe since Sheila promised to not put her on the block. What Natalie doesn't realize is that Sheila used to run with the Hell's Angels and during that time she learned a lot about the back door sneak attack. Natalie is so confident that she is safe this week that she tells Moose that she will be sure to vote for him to stay so he has nothing to worry about, thinking she will not be on that block come Thursday.

Natalie does her impression of a blow-up doll complete with the open mouth and dead eyes.

In Sheila's HOH room the ladies are having a taco fest, sausage not allowed. Sheila takes this opportunity for some first week Adam bashing but this time just for show as she wants the ladies to think that she's all about girl power. She actually wants to take Moose to the end of the game with her since she knows an uncircumcised man has never won Big Brother, other than Maggie back in season 6.

I WAS BORN WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO MODULATE THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE! IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE DEBILITATING!"

Sheila is hell bent on sending Natalie out of the house this week, and Moose knows that but he is still being a soggy little bitch about being put on the block like a sacrificial ham. He doesn't directly tell Sheila that he's angry at her but she can tell by the way he won't make eye contact, with either eye, and this frustrates Sheila since he's being such a big baby. Let's take a flashback to last week, shall we?

"I would never do that to him."

While Ryan and Moose stare blankly at the chessboard they receive a message from above. Not from God no matter what Natalie thinks, but from the television screen which warns them that the POV will be later tonight. Sheila states that Natalie can't win this POV to make sure that she gets her bubble ass out of the house.

"We should really learn how to play this."

"Word."

While getting pumped for the competition Natalie stops by to coach Ryan and Moose on the fact that Team Christ has to stay in power and therefore must win the POV. She states that she had a vision about one of them winning so it has to happen or God will have lied to her which will negate his existence causing her to rethink everything in her life, and she hates to think.

"If I don't abort them in time."

It'stimeforthevetocompetition!!! This is one of those POVs where each player has to enter the backyard separately and the times are compared later. This game consists of nine television screens placed Brady Bunch style and each player has to change the channel until the screens make one cohesive image. Natalie is up first and she is a complete and total idiot, which is like saying water is watery. She finally completes the task and cheers for herself stating that she is "a visual learner" like chimps and charmed cobras.

Team Chris T.

Each player gets his or her turn before Sheila brings everyone back out of the house to reveal their times. She comes in last place stating that she was distracted by the pictures of sexy Evel Dick on the screen, Natalie comes in second to last because she's so stupid she can't even lose best, Ryan comes in surprisingly fast for such a big, dumb idiot with 6:01, Sharon rates a respectable 4:56 but Moose takes the taco with a time of 3:20 making him the POV holder! Natalie is thrilled that Moose won since she did not want Sharon to win because she would have had to go head to mal-formed head with Moose on the block and wouldn't be assured safety in that situation. Little does she know everyone, including America, hates her and wants her to go anyway.

Adam: Glory Hole Enthusiast

After the POV Natalie immediately starts sweating her balls off beginning to fear that she will be stabbed in the back. She starts chatting up the boys, using every item in her artillery like her baby doll voice, boobs, and fake crying. Ryan is able to worm away from Natalie long enough to talk to Sharon and Sheila in the HOH room to assure that he is safe.

I'd still bang him. Moobs and all.

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Posted in Big Brother by FozzieBare at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: weasel dearest on Apr 17, 2008 01:09 PM.