When Kaysar won Head of Household this past Thursday, we here at the TVgasm offices found ourselves presented with almost the perfect scenario for this stage of the game of Big Brother. The house was one large conglomerate of an alliance whose only bond was the persecution of the outcasts. Those outcasts included Kaysar, for his friendship with Michael and any number of reasons the mad midget Eric came up with, and Janelle, for her closeness to Michael and the fact she wanted to get back at everybody for voting out her secret partner Ashlea the first week. Now that the outcasts are effectively in power, they had a chance to stir shit up or play it safe. It looks like Kaysar and his crew decided on option A, and that is a wonderful thing.
Michael's eviction from the house was really no surprise. I still think that he got a raw deal for his behavior, but he didn't fight his battle to stay in the house correctly, even if it was because he was up against his newfound love interest Janelle. He isolated himself and basically sealed his fate. I don't know if people noticed, but when he left, it was one of the more tense exits from the house that we have seen the last couple of seasons. A lot of people were diplomatic and hugged him and said goodbye, but Ivette and Eric did not. Ivette "kept her happy butt in the chair" and Eric walked away because Michael "never apologized" to him. I guess all of that time he was telling Michael that they were all cool was just a bunch of bull.
And what exactly does Eric want an apology for? He never tells us. Was Michael supposed to say "Uh, Eric, I'm sorry that some people came and told you I was talking about your family and you used that misinformation to plot against me, accuse me of being a sexual predator, and then physically threaten me. Cool? Sweet." I guess you could say that Michael never apologized for saying Eric is a midget and has a small penis, but let's be honest - he is the shortest man in the house, and all of those steroids more than likely gave him a small penis. Truth hurts.
Other than Kaysar, Janelle was the happiest person in the house after the HOH competition. Janelle has not made a huge effort to make friends, and until she can form some sort of alliance, she would have looked forward to being on the block for a long time. Since people have picked up on how skilled she is in the game, there was no doubt she wouldn't have lasted long. With Kaysar in the position of power, she could at least try and get one of her rivals (she mentioned Ivette and Jenny) to go before she did.
Since people know Janelle is probably Kaysar's closest friend in the house, it's fun to watch people suck up to her a little bit as well. Take April, for instance. As she and Janelle are having a smoke outside, Janelle mentions that she feels like she has no friends, to which April responds "I always liked you!" April then goes on saying that she might not have liked the way Janelle was in the house, but would surely be friends if she saw her outside. When Janelle said she thinks she is the same outside the house, April's "I like you, but I don't like you" story is destroyed. Janelle loved it too, saying she relished the look on April's face because "she was busted." Well, I wouldn't consider April busted, but she is very old. Every time I look at her Michael Jackson nose, I think it is going to fall in.
There were a lot of people who weren't happy with Kaysar winning HOH, including Ivette, who was upset because she said Allah must have been looking over Kaysar and must have given him HOH. Well, no shit Ivette! Do you think Kaysar prays so many times a day because he is asking to get screwed over? What's her next complaint? "Oh, that bitch April, she's always like 'Give us this day our daily bread.' What's up with that? I HATE PB&J!!"
I have been kind of going back and forth on what to think about Kaysar. I really hate his apparent pacifism, because they are always the most boring in the house. Maybe he was just laying low. When talking about his win, Kaysar said he wanted to make people kiss his ass a little bit, and that is a VERY healthy attitude in the house, at least when it comes to our entertainment.
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Comments (43)
I hate James more than anyone in the house (well, ok, except Ivette)! Ever since the first week when he showed his redneck stupidity by blaming Clinton for corporate corruption and Carter for CIA intelligence leaks/failures (no Republicans need apply), then his obvious manipulation of Sarah whom I doubt he cares about at all except to help him win, to his idiotic statement about the food, to his blatant lie to Kaysar (who I was worried almost believed him). I hope he's gone (if he should win POV, Kaysar should put up Sarah). Unfortunately, I fear Kaysar and Janelle will be nominated next week for revenge.
1 of 43 | Posted by museglet | Posted on July 24, 2005 3:37 PM
If either one is vetoed I hope that Kaysar puts up Eric. Promises or not, that man must go. Fingers crossed that Janelle wins HOH next week and puts Ivette's Cuban ass up. I'd rather watch J. Lo watch paint dry that have to sit through another week of her.
2 of 43 | Posted by ellen | Posted on July 24, 2005 3:42 PM
Personally, I was glad to see Kayser win HOH ... he has taken so much shit that was so uncalled for it was a nice turn of events. I think Eric needs to go .. he is such an instigator that he will wind up causing more problems then he's worth. Ivette also needs to pack up her stuff .. those two have got to get out of the house.
3 of 43 | Posted by floopeygirl | Posted on July 24, 2005 4:21 PM
Imagine being Eric's wife, and havingto support him, but knowing and SEEING what an ASS the man is in this situation.
And, I'm all for WOMEN'S LIB, but when Kaysar "STOOD UP" to Ivette, I was cheering "GIVE HER THE BACKHAND" like I was at a boxing match.
4 of 43 | Posted by ellen | Posted on July 24, 2005 4:27 PM
I thought that Michael did apoligize to him. What do ya know? Sappy Cappy is a scumbag! I never would've guessed. lol.
I don't like Ivette as much anymore but I thought the confessional about being a lesbian was sweet. Like her or hate her (most of you hate her), it was a feel good moment. Thank Goodness that Michael from Hell's Kitchen wasn't there to ruin it like he did on Monday.
Kaysar and Howie have seemed to be friends from early on even before Kaysar won HOH.
Janelle bringing in a vaporizer would be sweet. Too bad that she would kicked out of the house if she vaporized Eric!
I didn't order the live feeds but I think Ivette is afraid that the others will hold it against her. I know the feeling (except for the part about being gay). b.t.w. She would have blown the gay 'secret' to the world in episode one when she kissed her girlfriend(?) on the intro video. Oh darnit, just writing this has made me like her again. Her rude behavior entertains me.
I laughed so hard when Janelle said 75% or 2 to 1. This just in! Janelle failed math as a child. Details at eleven! In other news, Howie has gone crazy. But, seriously, what was with the jedi thing.
If there is a veto used, then I think Kaysar will put up Ivette. If anyone were to win and use veto, I think it would be James. I'm predicting it will be Ivette and Maggie and Maggie will go since she doesn't seem to be well liked.
5 of 43 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 24, 2005 4:45 PM
I don't know. I think I would have been MORE entertained if Kaysar beat the crap out of Ivette.
Howie.....UGH.....He is just PAINFUL to watch. If he were one quarter as funny as he THINKS he is....I probably STILL wouldn't laugh.
6 of 43 | Posted by ellen | Posted on July 24, 2005 4:59 PM
Even worse than Sarah's misspelling of "Cauliflower" was her excuse. She claimed that she missed it because she was too nervous. WTF? It wasn't like "cauliflower" was that hard, and it's not like there was a huge crowd in the backyard watching her. Why just not admit that you're a moron, Sarah?
And just when I thought that Janelle was smart, she demonstrates that she can neither spell nor do simple math.
By the way, Kaysar's nom picks were absolutely brilliant. I'm rooting for him to win, although I doubt that he'll get to the end unless Janelle or Howie win HOH next week.
7 of 43 | Posted by The Dogg Pound | Posted on July 24, 2005 5:08 PM
This was a brilliant move on Kaysar's part. Worked on so many levels. More people should be as cunning on this show.
Maggie and James were unlikely nominees and will certainly jar the house. Eric's alliances will be revealed, as will Sarah's. Plus, Kaysar keeps his word with Eric (by not putting him up) and might even stir up confusion in the house: why weren't Eric and Ivette nominated? Is there something going on between them and Kaysar that I don't know about?
Hopefully, rifts will form, and with any luck, Kaysar and Janelle will take advantage.
8 of 43 | Posted by B-Side | Posted on July 24, 2005 5:10 PM
I think Kaysar was holding true to his word with Eric not to nominate him, and with these nominations he can see the alliances crumble. Especially between James and Eric, because Eric will fight harder for Maggie. He will also get some hard evidence that James and Sarah are working together by their reactions to the nominations.
9 of 43 | Posted by ellen | Posted on July 24, 2005 5:40 PM
Hey J-Unit excellent recap, surprised you didn't mention......
Ivette and GF's pet names for each other , "Tushie-pie" ~GAG~
And Maggie's 10 year old girl hairstyle at the nominations
10 of 43 | Posted by Retroqueen | Posted on July 24, 2005 5:58 PM
...and the irony in Howie not being given the word HAM to spell.;)
11 of 43 | Posted by ellen | Posted on July 24, 2005 6:02 PM
I think Howie's jedi stuff was actually pretty funny. He and Kaysar are my favourites, so I'm obviously thrilled Kaysar got HOH. James is a fucking idiot for lying to Kaysar. Chenbot is coming James and you're about to find out about her other pair of loose lips. You're fucked chief.
12 of 43 | Posted by GNARKILL | Posted on July 24, 2005 6:09 PM
All I can say is they are editing the hell out of it. You have to take my word and pay for the live feed. It is worth every penny. I have been watching April crying for the last hour to Kaysar about what a great guy Cappie is and what a SOB James is. She is boring the hell out of Kaysar. That was probably the longest hour of his life. She swears like a sailor.
You cannot get the whole story without watching the live feed. Kaysar is a real gentleman, and smarter than any other player.
If you are the least bit interested in psychology, this is highly entertaining.
13 of 43 | Posted by Lola | Posted on July 24, 2005 6:38 PM
I forgot to mention that the reason Ivette did not reveal that she is gay is because she thought the rest of the house would judge her for it. She said something about them not accepting her if they knew. One of the funniest things that happened today was a ***SPOILER REMOVED***.
If you need to talk about the live feed, use the forums:
http://forums.tvgasm.com/forum.php?req=main&id=24
14 of 43 | Posted by Lola | Posted on July 24, 2005 6:49 PM
Lola got off light!
15 of 43 | Posted by GNARKILL | Posted on July 24, 2005 7:48 PM
Excellent recap J-Unit, as usual. I am so hooked on this season. I'm with all of you, brilliant move on Kaysar's part. I'de been worried he was falling for James and Sarah's lies.
Did anyone else notice our say's he's straight buddy Howie, give Michael a kis on the cheek, before the hug and goodbye. That boy sets the gaydar off something fierce.
16 of 43 | Posted by PDX Hobbit | Posted on July 24, 2005 11:04 PM
Howie kisses EVERYBODY all the time.
17 of 43 | Posted by GNARKILL | Posted on July 24, 2005 11:16 PM
Well, Lola got off easy because it wasn't a crazy spoiler that revealed results of a competition or whatever. But since we're trying to encourage live feeds discussion in the forums, we simply removed it from the comments without our customary yelling and shouting.
18 of 43 | Posted by B-Side | Posted on July 24, 2005 11:22 PM
So I'm the Chris to lola's Elsie were TVgasm Hell's Kitchen?
19 of 43 | Posted by GNARKILL | Posted on July 25, 2005 1:10 AM
Exactly. Although, maybe we knew you had a thicker skin, so J-Unit ratcheted up his tough-love for you.
20 of 43 | Posted by B-Side | Posted on July 25, 2005 4:54 AM
great recap. I loved Kaysar's move. From now on I'm calling him Kaysyrup because he's soooo sweet. Now all Kaysyrup has to do is sit back and watch the teams tear each other apart. By this time next week Eric and Sarah's group will be so fractured Kaysar & Janelle will be afterthoughts for the next HOH nominations.
Howies implosion is only a matter of time. The fuse is set Mr. Elimidate. When he was on Elimidate he not only talked Star Wars-ease but got verbally violent with the woman who dismissed him. I hated him on Elimidate but kinda like him on BB. No matter...when the liquor starts to flow and he commands one of the girls to "kiss him because he has the force", the shit will hit the fan. I only hope that shit comes in the form of Ivette.
Weeks to Howie's implosion. 1.5 weeks.
21 of 43 | Posted by America's Next Top Fan | Posted on July 25, 2005 6:12 AM
muscleglet, you forgot to mention that James "redneck's stupidity" (which I guess to you means he is Republican) was deftly and cleverly countered by Eric's liberal response.
22 of 43 | Posted by SaveFerris | Posted on July 25, 2005 8:06 AM
I find it interesting that Kaysar used Janelle's suggestion of nominating Maggie and James. Shows you who the brains are in this operation (inability to spell and figure ratios aside).
That Jedi shit with Howie was retarded. Seriously. What the hell were they thinking? No. One. Cares.
My prediction is that James will get vetoed. Too many people like him for some dumb reason, whereas Maggie is expendable. Not to mention really ugly.
But the most important question here is: when are people going to start having sex?
23 of 43 | Posted by Mary | Posted on July 25, 2005 8:31 AM
Eric and James are not friends. When Eric chose James for that veto comp, he said in DR that he did so only so James would think they still had an aliance. Which i think is in direct conflict with one of the many- MANY, selfrighteous speeches he and Maggie resit on a daily basis about how honest and upstanding they are.
>
24 of 43 | Posted by E. | Posted on July 25, 2005 9:34 AM
Mary~ (#23)
"Retarded" persons everywhere would balk @ being compared to Howie the Jedi King...
25 of 43 | Posted by bb6fan2 | Posted on July 25, 2005 10:13 AM
per usual, the annual spelling contest tells us all we need to know about the division of brain power in the big brother house.
thank goodness kaysar turned out to have a spine to match his superior intellect. for a while there, it wasn't clear whether his attempts to mediate between michael and eric indicated shrewdness or cowardice, but it looks like all of those chess matches with janelle are paying off. kaysar's noms will also likely set off this season's first balls-out campaigning war, as it has become evident that the pairs twist is out of the bag. i can already hear the cap'n's next sports cliche-ridden rationale for abject hypocrisy. and when he finally gets the boot (which, allah willing, will be soon), we'll be guaranteed an adria-esque self-righteous diatribe to remember.
26 of 43 | Posted by jack | Posted on July 25, 2005 10:32 AM
It's now official, the game is on. I was worried that my favorite players would be going home soon, (Kaysar and Janelle), but since he won HOH and he nominated James and Maggie (smart move!), I an so excited to see how the chips fall. Whether its 75% or 2 to 1!
27 of 43 | Posted by megstar | Posted on July 25, 2005 11:21 AM
Mary's question: Maybe it already happened. Maybe they will reveal that after they reveal that everybody has a pair. Summer Of Secrets (Okay that secret was just lame). My guess is either Sarah and James, someone with Janelle, or Ivette and Sappy Cappy (if he can swear about his family then he can cheat on them, right?)
28 of 43 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 25, 2005 11:46 AM
Oh, rifts will form . . . and advantages will be taken. It's about time for some alliance splitting. The house has been a few people against a large group for way too long.
I HATE JAMES! Sarah, he is not "the hottest boyfriend *ever*!".
29 of 43 | Posted by EROSion | Posted on July 25, 2005 1:06 PM
I think it is going to come out to a 4-5 vote, in favor of maggie. Which sucks because I totally like James, is that so wrong?
I think the reason Ivette didn't tell everyone that she was gay was so people wouldn't automatically put her together with Beau. I don't think it will has anything to do with her being worried about what other people would think...
30 of 43 | Posted by smithie | Posted on July 25, 2005 1:20 PM
Also for the record steroids do not give you a small penis, they shrink your balls. That being said, I'm sure Cappy Pants has a small penis...
31 of 43 | Posted by smithie | Posted on July 25, 2005 1:20 PM
Yes, SaveFerris, actually the ONLY thing redeeming about Eric's megalomania was when he took on James. And no, not all rednecks are Republicans or vice-versa, but the outrageousness of James' comments (blaming everything wrong in the world today on the 2 Democratic presidents of the past 35 years) merited my sarcasm.
32 of 43 | Posted by museglet | Posted on July 25, 2005 1:23 PM
SPEAKING OF JASE...
Look for Jase to rear his ugly head in tonight's premier of Kill Reality on E!, he doesn't get cast in the movie/show which makes me realize why he went back to Ohio...If Steven Hall (RR Vegas) is considered the best "actor" of the bunch it really says something about Jase's skills...
I am however fairly confident he will be at the premiere party tonight...
33 of 43 | Posted by smithie | Posted on July 25, 2005 3:56 PM
Amen museglet.
Where does that idiot James get off blaming democrats for every ill in the world when they've only held the presidency 12 of the last 35 years?
I read that while in discussion with Eric, James blamed the dems for 9/11. Seriously, WTF??? Hello, how about blaming those 19 guys on the planes?
Obviously I'm liberal, but I don't blame Bush or other republicans for everything that's ever happened to this country. Nothing's black and white. How can you have your head so far up your ass to think like that?
34 of 43 | Posted by James is an idiot | Posted on July 25, 2005 4:03 PM
Kaysar should of slapped Ivette's nasty vile face, then beaten that bald headed troll with his new pipe. Yes, and I agree, Smithie, Cappy must have tiny schlong. I think Howie is tiny also.
35 of 43 | Posted by katieshole | Posted on July 25, 2005 4:11 PM
EXCELLENT episode, EXCELLENT recap.
The only thing that would make me laugh harder at what Kaysar is doing to the house would be for one of the two to get POV, and watch the others get PO'd that they might get nominated next. The fight that would ensue would be noteworthy.
Kaysyrup... love it.
Ahhhhh... summer of secrets....
36 of 43 | Posted by Eric's Miniscule Penis | Posted on July 25, 2005 5:02 PM
I don't know if someone mentioned this before, but Chenbot said that she is going to reveal the secret pairs to the houseguests on Thursday. So come Thursday, James and Sarah are busted and will have to do a lot of damage control to explain lying to Kaysar (if James isn't evicted).
37 of 43 | Posted by Jeremy | Posted on July 25, 2005 9:35 PM
i think they're already busted--based on michael's exit interview with the chenbot, it's safe to say that everyone in the house is on to the pairs twist and are just waiting for the right moment to bring it into the open. it seemed like kaysar's nominations were clearly designed to force eric's hand, since eric will have to turn on james to save maggie.
what'll really change things, though, is when they find out about the half-million dollar bonus for winning the game with your partner in second place.
38 of 43 | Posted by jack | Posted on July 26, 2005 4:16 AM
I'm just afraid that if James or Maggie get POV, they'll put up Janelle. I don't want Janie to go home yet!
39 of 43 | Posted by Lyndsay | Posted on July 26, 2005 9:25 AM
Lyndsay, the HOH picks who replaces the person on the block if someone uses the POV, not the person who won POV. I don't think you need to worry about Kay putting Janelle up.
Rick D.
40 of 43 | Posted by Rick D. | Posted on July 26, 2005 12:23 PM
Oh, Darnit! I forgot to watch Kill Reality.
41 of 43 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 26, 2005 1:15 PM
You missed out tv freak it was horrible! So naturally I loved it.
42 of 43 | Posted by GNARKILL | Posted on July 26, 2005 7:53 PM
Actually chenbot is to reveal that each person has a partner in the house. She is not going to reveal who the partners are.
The prize is $1 mil not a half a mil for the winner if their partner makes it to second place. If that happens then the second place person will also get $250,000. The catch is the pair has to be kept a secret. Seeing that is now down the tubes the prize reverts back to the same as the previous seasons.
43 of 43 | Posted by kent | Posted on July 27, 2005 2:40 AM