Back from the commercials and it's time for Julie to harass the houseguests. Chen tries to make Daniele feel bad about saving herself instead of her dad, but Daniele sort of doesn't feel bad, so good for her. Julie moves to Amber, who immediately grabs her necklace (HATE). She asks Amber, basically, why the fuck she cries so much, especially when half the shit she cries about has absolutely nothing to do with her. She tells Julie that she cries all the time because she's just a really "from the heart" person. So, basically, the gist is that she's such a good person that she can't help it! She's totally the most moral person ever! It has nothing to do with the fact that she's a spineless wuss that can't handle any aspect of the game at all and has to get other people to defend her because she's too busy blubbering/getting hit in the face with a tetherball to think at all. Whatever. I'm sure she's a nice person and all, but using God/your kids/private family stuff/every single thing that happens in the house to turn the attention onto yourself via massive crying jags is gross, and I cannot stand her. Next!
Julie gets her Eastern Bloc accent on as she attempts to squeeze more humor out of the strongman competition thing. That well never had much water in it in the first place there, Julie. Nice try, though! Julie goes to Jen, who completely freaks out over being harassed on the live show for the second week in a row. I'm sorry, but I completely love her, you guys. She has made this week so much fun to watch; she doesn't take any of this too seriously, she's so oblivious to everyone but herself that it ends up making her sort of awesome and hilarious to watch. If you haven't read her HoH blog on the CBS site, GO RIGHT NOW. It is gold. Here are some choice samples:
"For starts this is so much fun to even be able to type...like you don't even know."
"I am not sure if you have noticed but there has been a lot of yelling, talking, and just pure madness going on."
"While I am writing this blog I am not sure as to what to say and I am not going to be proofing it or anything just so you all know."
"I would also like to say happy birthday to my dad, who's birthday is tomorrow...June 20"
"Also If anyone could please just drive my car around the neighborhood for 5 minutes that would be great, the keys are in my car. :-)"
Her car is so totally stolen, you guys. Also, can TVGasm please hire her after all this is over?
Julie tells Jen that she really took the "uni" out of "unitard". I don't know who fed Julie that line, but her improvisation program is on point this evening. The Chenbot, afraid of another "It was..fun?" fiasco like last week, doesn't even give Jen a chance to respond and goes straight to Jessica to ask her about the unitard. Jessica (Who is looking pretty hot for the second straight week. And yes, I hate myself) is like, "Yeah, I'm straight up tired of looking at Jen's ass, Julie. Also, my hair is large!"
And now, my favorite moment of the evening: Julie introduces the man who came between Dustin and Joe by showing us photos in case we have forgotten which ones in the house wear jorts and overshare. They picked the best photo of Joe in history.
Nate ("The Man In The Middle", and also "Big Gay Alfalfa") talks about how Joe did "a grab bag" of things to Dustin. I hope they disposed of the bag. He also says that Joe could have "gotten gonorrhea from anywhere". Seriously, this is scary: I live in the same area code as all of these people. If someone could draw me a map so that I could avoid the gonorrhea laden areas, that would be awesome. Remind me to take a blacklight next time I go out. Excuse me while I go set an Outlook Reminder.
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Comments (17)
kail and jen are screwed.
1 of 17 | Posted by nurseratched
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Posted on July 20, 2007 11:10 AM
Julie looked suitably dressed for a robot-teacher meeting. She and hubby Les have got to be rearing a couple of grade school-aged circuit boards by now.
2 of 17 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on July 20, 2007 11:32 AM
Way to go, Schoonie. I loved the Goofus/Gallant screencap.
My favorite moment of the episode: Chenbot subtly calling Jen a "tard." Hilarious.
Also, love that Evil Dick is now known only as E.D., just like in the erectile dysfunction commercials! I wish he also came with a superfast side effects warning whenever anyone says his name ("medication for E.D. may cause vomiting, nausea, headaches, cramping, ulcers, etc.")
3 of 17 | Posted by MCH
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Posted on July 20, 2007 11:37 AM
OMG RANDOM! i just realized that picture of Jessica bore quite a resembelence to Kyndra from laguna beach 3 - I believe Kyndra herself also said her hair is full of secrets! she must have had a voice change! instead of sounding like a nasally whiny horse she sounds like...a different sounding nasally whiny horse!
4 of 17 | Posted by nurseratched
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Posted on July 20, 2007 11:41 AM
hilarious recap, schoon. you gotta love that kail was knocked out on the bible question. i stood up and cheered.
5 of 17 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on July 20, 2007 11:59 AM
If you take the uni out of unitard, you have TARD. And you gotta admit, Jen is a tard.
6 of 17 | Posted by bitchristine
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Posted on July 20, 2007 12:40 PM
"Big Gay Alfalfa"...ROFLMFAO!!!...same with Goofus/Gallant.
I thought the Chenbot was smokin hot too!!
Bitchin recap Schoon!!
7 of 17 | Posted by Wondermutt
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Posted on July 20, 2007 1:36 PM
Okay, how come you did not mention when the tv froze up and you could see the ChenBot frozen, but hear her voice! Did that not happene for everyone else?? I almost died because the ChenBot was outted!! Dang! I thought for sure you would mention that one! Great recap though! LOOOOOVE THEM...even more than Joes' Jorts! :)
8 of 17 | Posted by *ThE*mIsT*
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Posted on July 20, 2007 2:33 PM
*** (sound of my comment cherry popping...)
Okay, at long last after snickering thru TVgasm for years, I HAVE to leave a comment! Although Nate (the middle man) isn't a main character, I was hoping for a FEW paragraphs on him alone!
Did you check out the size of his "Gay love handles"? (his EARS) I would love to see a screencap. Obviously we know how he was used as a middle man tug-of-war.
AND...Even though Jen in a unitard looks, um, "over ripe", I'm glad it wasn't won by Joe. I'm afraid his guy-normous nipples would look like serving platters from Hell's Kitchen.
I DO wish Nick would have been in the unitard; tight enough so we could see his suitcase key.
9 of 17 | Posted by blackup15
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Posted on July 20, 2007 3:08 PM
Great recap Schoonie!
I actually cheered when Dick won HOH as well. For some reason I was really rooting for him this past week and I didn't want him to be voted out.
I can't stand Kail. I'm sure Dick is going to nominate her and I'm glad!
Also I was confused why Nick kept acting like he wasn't sure who he was going to vote for. I knew he would vote however Daniele voted.
10 of 17 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on July 20, 2007 3:28 PM
Great recap -- I also liked the Goofus/Gallant reference (& strangely cheered when ED won)
11 of 17 | Posted by Lime23
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Posted on July 20, 2007 6:27 PM
Schoonie -- you can find all of Eric's t-shirts at www.bustedtees.com
Happy Birthday!
12 of 17 | Posted by sbm713
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Posted on July 20, 2007 6:35 PM
Nate, the guy who came between Joe/Dustin = young Todd Oldham, from Top Design, big ears and all!
Schoonie = happy birthday, I look forward to catching your Remix episode later this weekend.
Joe = kind of disappointed to see him go, from a strategic perspective, because he was unaligned and could have been a wild card in the house. Oh well, so much intrigue now that ED can exact revenge. Can't wait!
13 of 17 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on July 21, 2007 8:35 AM
Ha! Thanks everybody; I'm actually not on Reality Remix myself, Marcellas was. He mentioned the 'Drink Everytime Amber Cries' game, so I thought I would mention it here.
14 of 17 | Posted by schoonie
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Posted on July 21, 2007 10:11 AM
Schoonie, I know you like Jen, and there IS something (scarily) amusing about her, but I so hope she doesn't win the veto on Tuesday.
The Mist, I saw the Chenbot freeze. it was awesome!
I am very disappointed in the directors of BB for not showing Kail's reaction when she realized "her boys" didn't vote with her. I sure would have loved to see that.
15 of 17 | Posted by geewits
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Posted on July 22, 2007 12:44 AM
Happy B-day ! Great re-cap Schoonie. I can't decide which I would rather be voted out Kail or Jen.. LMAO
16 of 17 | Posted by BB_whore
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Posted on July 22, 2007 9:45 AM
Happy B-day ! Great re-cap Schoonie. I can't decide which I would rather have voted out Kail or Jen.. LMAO
17 of 17 | Posted by BB_whore
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Posted on July 22, 2007 10:29 AM