Keesha tries to be nice to April, telling her that she hates having issues with anyone, and that she's sorry they fight so much. April interrupts her to say that she thinks they actually "see eye to eye to much" which makes no sense, but whatever. Keesha jokes with April about wanting to borrow one of her designer outfits, and Libra does something totally normal by piggybacking on the joke and saying that Keesha only wants to be friends with her because of the outfits. Michelle tells us in confessional that Libra is a giant bitch who knows how to take the fun out of any situation.
Now, wait a damn minute. Jerry sits there and completely eviscerates Dan after Dan starts crying, and Jerry hasn't done anything, but Libra makes a tiny joke to try and back up her friend and she's the one responsible for making things awkward? Whatever.
Ollie talks more than he ever has at this point and still says nothing, noting that anyone at the table can talk to him one-on-one at any point. Libra takes him up on his offer right then, taking him into the storage room. She tells him that the night that Jessie got voted out, she got her feelings hurt when she called him a "scallywag". Wait, he called her a scallywag? That's sort of awesome. What is he, a pirate?
Again, Libra seems at least half honest as she starts crying all over the place and hugging him. He apologizes to her, and she uses it as an excuse to bring up the fact that it was Keesha who started the whole Jessie eviction thing. It all seems very calculated, once you watch it once or twice.
Meanwhile, upstairs Michelle is telling Keesha that Libra is still saying stuff about her, calling April up to back her up. Keesha tells them to go get Libra, and here you notice that Keesha is drinking beer out of a wine glass, meaning that she has switched since dinner, and also meaning that everyone in the house is absolutely trashed. Libra comes up and pretty soon everyone is yelling at each other, and Memphis, who has been leaning against the doorway wearing his onion necklace, "F this, I'm out" and leaves before shit really gets started.
Keesha wins honesty points by telling Michelle that she honestly thought Jessie was after her, and she was fine about him until April came to her. You remember, that one time when she was going to go "stand up for herself" and instead collapsed in a pile while everyone fought? April denies it, which is a lie that she doesn't know she's telling. Keesha calls April a skank and storms out, telling Michelle she can evict whomever she wants. Keesha (drunk as shit in the DR) tells us how much she hates April, talking about how fake she is.
Michelle follows her out of the DR and down the stairs into her room, almost straddling her in bed. It's kind of hot, in an odd way. Keesha lunches into a diatribe, talking about how April talks like she's so innocent, but she's actually responsible for everything that's gone on in the house. Keesha tries to blame April for the whole thing, saying that it was her information that caused them to get rid of Jessie. Keesha is my favorite, but that is a bit of a stretch. The best part is when Keesha says "Look at me right now! I look like a fucking crazy person!"
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Comments (29)
Jerry is an IDIOT!
Still reminds me of an old dog who has found road kill and claims it as his own.
I about choked when he said Dan has the ugliest body in the house. He evidently doesn't look in mirrors.
Your recaps are the best-better than the show!
1 of 29 | Posted by hoxharding | Posted on August 13, 2008 9:20 AM
Confession time: I was completely confused by Ollie's calling Libra a scallywag, as I only knew the original use of the word which was a white Southerner who supported Reconstruction policies after the American Civil War (usually for self-interest.)
Darn history classes and fancy book learnin'.
Could someone please kill Jerry, duct tape Michelle's mouth, and tell Dan to stop shouting at me?
2 of 29 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on August 13, 2008 9:29 AM
A scallywag? Why, she should be made to walk the plank and swab the decks. Arrrgh!!
And Jerry needs to f'ing relax. Go get a picture of Betty Grable and whack it in the shower or something. Jesus, what a petty little vagina he's become. I bet he's going to be fun in the sequester house after some JUDAS doesn't vote the way that he wants.
Meanwhile, Renny just quietly sails along.
3 of 29 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 13, 2008 9:56 AM
Not just a scallywag, but a scallyway and a HO! Yes, Goal Weight Rerun, preacher's son, who has to return to a Baptist Church that is 100% black, you called a black woman a scallyway and a hoe while defending your blonde hair blue eyed white girlfriend who you have been having sex with on camera while bragging about not wearing the condoms you bought. Let the Church say Amen.
4 of 29 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on August 13, 2008 10:15 AM
Schoon,
As I recall, Dan was in the pool when Jerry approached him about Jessie. (I think Dan was juggling or something.) Anyway...Dan NEVER agreed he would vote to evict Memphis. As you said, he just nodded politely like you do to let someone know you heard them.
I think what makes Jerry the maddest is the realization that his little speech to Dan had no power. If America had told Dan to evict Memphis, Jerry would've assumed it was due to his super persuasive abilities (and I'm certain he would have tried to build himself up in the eyes of the other houseguests.) Now poor, poor Jerry's got nothing (except boring speeches that no one listens to).
If the actual veto ceremony speech was even longer than shown...sheesh!
Schoon..the remark about April being like "a leech, but if a leech joined a sorority" was hilarious. (And right on the mark!)
5 of 29 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:03 AM
Jerry COULD have taken Libra off the block - but then Michelle would have gotten to put up someone (not Jerry) - and I highly doubt she would have actually put up Dan.
She wants Libra or Keesha out (obviously, mostly Libra), so I could see her putting up Renny. Because then Keesha would have left. Jerry didn't have near as much power as he was waving around, and I don't imagine it thrilled Michelle to hear him go off.
6 of 29 | Posted by lonebutterfly | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:14 AM
Thanks for the recap, and once again, I'm glad I watched the Olympics! Sheeesh!!! At least I saved my TV screen from all the things I'd have thrown at it. Did Jerry really say Dan has the worst body in the house, what kind of wha!!!! Of course, if I'd been there, I would have immediately started stripping and saying"that's why you want it"
Go Renny!!!
7 of 29 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:15 AM
love, love, LOVE drunk Keesha in DR: 'it's a good thing she doesn't have her cell phone' - HA! you know she's a serial drunk-dialer!
8 of 29 | Posted by aniglo | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:24 AM
Agree with everyone on Jerry. Still Colonel Dickbag in my book. Hopefully his wife doesn't have to watch this shit.
Also, why does Michelle always go into that corner by the toliet to talk to Jessie? It creeps me out.
9 of 29 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on August 13, 2008 12:59 PM
After listening to ED tell Jen all the disgusting ways he was going to violate her, I can't believe that this year's drama revolves around calling each other a "womanizer" and "scalliwag". Egads, I hope no one tells someone to "23 skadoo", or else there is going to be quite the gentleman's pistol duel.
10 of 29 | Posted by lagitha | Posted on August 13, 2008 1:03 PM
When Jerry told that dumbass story about the bulls, I was done. I'm sick of him and his foul mouth. I want his old wrinkly taint out. And I am so sick of people talking about respect. Enough!
11 of 29 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on August 13, 2008 1:21 PM
Did anyone else catch that Jerry said Dan would be a scumbag if he WAS America's Player? It was after his confessional where he said that would be the only excuse Dan could have. Think it was the first time he went to talk to Michelle. What an asshole. I would be embarassed as hell to be his wife/kids right now.
I'm ok with Libra going because she does annoy me, and I'm hoping April gets out soon. How NO ONE has brought up the couple in the house is crazy to me.
At this point I'm rooting for Keesha, Renny, and Memphis. The rest all need to diaf.
12 of 29 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on August 13, 2008 1:26 PM
Colonel Jerky's self-rightousness is ridiculous. Wonder what Brian thinks of him calling Dan a Judas?
13 of 29 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on August 13, 2008 1:39 PM
I can not stand Jerry. I truly believe that he is jealous that he's decrepit and can't have a showmance like the young guys can.
And WHY is everyone always bringing up Libra and her kids? Jeez, you'd think she left her babies at home in their car seats while she went shopping! (True story - happened in Ohio).
14 of 29 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on August 13, 2008 3:34 PM
I find it hilarious that for everyone in the house some people like them, some don't but there is no split decision on April, Ollie and Jerry. Everyone just flat hates them. HEH.
15 of 29 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on August 13, 2008 6:08 PM
Jerry was heard talking about how Dan needs to work out because he has the ugliest body in the house.
This coming from a man who seems determind to flaunt his body-(ugh)
Really,does he change his shirt? That hat has to be filthy with a yellow oil ring with smatterings of dirt.
Not sure why Dan yells in the Diaryroom. Is he pretending he is on the football field maybe?
16 of 29 | Posted by hoxharding | Posted on August 13, 2008 6:33 PM
Schoonie and other people commenting here - hysterical, I love it. Just some things I noted while I watched this past episode and would like to get it off my chest. If any of my friends watched this stupid show, I'd be drunk dialing them right now to vent. Alas, I just have you guys as comrades in this show.
Dan - stop shouting! Please! The booming monotone cadence is killing me. Seriously, please.
Keesha - stop screeching! Please! The loud shrill is killing me. Seriously, please.
Jerry - stop sounding like "Eric the Retard" on Howard Stern. The uncanny likeness is killing me. Seriously, please.
Michelle Pan Rosto - parar com a voz masculina! Por favor! O foghorn com esteróides é matar-me. Realmente, por favor.
Onions:
Keesha - yaaya like you're used to those onions every night biyatch - now go get me some hot wings, onion rings and a bucket of iced cold 'Rocks.
Memphis - oh, mixtenter, um, barologist - cut you up some nad-like onions from 'bout your red neck and make me a fuckin' vodka gibson. Pronto.
17 of 29 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on August 13, 2008 7:03 PM
lagitha....
best.
post.
ever.
18 of 29 | Posted by Wormfood33 | Posted on August 13, 2008 7:19 PM
bitchchristine: Jerry = gary the retard on HSS.. YES!! cannot believe I didn't put that one together.
I am so over Jerry's "Judas" ranting. And how did the noms go your first week again, dear? I love Libra's face at the veto ceremony when Jerry was saying all the Judas stuff to Dan.
I'm sorry, but I so love Dan. Despite his republican status. I might want him to win. I don't really care for anyone else that much.
And yes, Ollie is respecting the women how in the house? Maybe the ones he's not banging on tv, but April? Yuck. I am shocked that no one's brought up the April/Ollie alliance yet. In due time, of course.
19 of 29 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on August 13, 2008 7:43 PM
Warning: The following comment language some readers may find offensive.
HA HA HA.
Is there any way of smuggling 30 pieces of silver into the house so Jerry can give them to Dan and SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.
Oh, my God.
20 of 29 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 13, 2008 10:55 PM
I'm fairly sure I've made a "23 skadoo" joke somewhere, but yeah, I know something's funny when I read it and go "Jeez, I wish I had thought of that." and Lagitha: you win. Amazing, seriously.
21 of 29 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:05 PM
About the Ollie/April alliance...really??...you call that an alliance??? Hmmmmmmm...Let's see... Ollie will do WHATEVER April says. ("Somehow" I get the feeling he's not there for the money.) April, on the other hand, not so much.
What exactly has Ollie done in the house (other than April)? He's SOOOOOOOOOOO whipped. He's boring too...I have yet to hear a fresh idea/plan/comeback out of him.
22 of 29 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:09 PM
Did anyone notice that if Keesha had put all her onions in the veto box instead of putting almost a third of them in the prize box, she would have won the veto easily? I would think staying in the game is more important than some random prize. do these people think at all?
23 of 29 | Posted by Annieo | Posted on August 13, 2008 11:11 PM
I thought that Howie guy would be the dumbest person to ever get on Big Brother. How the hell did casting top him--like with pretty much every single member of this cast?
I keep trying to like Keesha...I can almost forgive her for being a brick. At least she's been showing more spine lately.
Jerry, on the other hand, disgusted me from the very first week -- who the fuck is he to talk about betraying anyone? Why doesn't Dan or anyone else call him out on this?
Who the hell are these people? Don't they ever think? Or do they all have an off button?
24 of 29 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 14, 2008 7:18 AM
bitchcristine:
"Michelle Pan Rosto - parar com a voz masculina! Por favor! O foghorn com esteróides é matar-me. Realmente, por favor."
Wal-Mart has keyboards on sale, you can buy me a new one there or I will be forced to sue you for 10% of your networth. BWWAHHHAAAHHHA. Seriously, please!
Also, am I the only one who thinks Jerry looks like someone in his life has accused him of "inappropriate touching"
25 of 29 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on August 14, 2008 8:03 AM
What a great episode! That fight after the dinner went on forever, btw.. I hope that CBS shows the rest on Thursday.
Jerry keeps digging himself deeper and deeper. The others are going to be so sick of hearing him bitch about Dan that they are going to take him right out. Dan's playing smart to just lay low, but I hope that he eventually just lets Jerry have it, and point out all the stupid things he's been saying--namely, the fact that Jerry takes credit for everything. I could make a drinking game out of the times he says "I saved you last week" to everyone.
26 of 29 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on August 14, 2008 9:19 AM
To Wormfood and Schoonie--My, you sure do know how to make a girl blush! Thanks!
27 of 29 | Posted by lagitha | Posted on August 14, 2008 12:53 PM
bitchchristine: when I attempt to translate your message to Michelle through Yahoo Babel Fish, I get this:
"Michelle Pan Face - to stop with the masculine voice! Please! Foghorn with esteróides is to kill me. Really, please"
Which is probably almost as funny as the intended translation. LMAO
28 of 29 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on August 14, 2008 1:45 PM
I think it might be funnier.
29 of 29 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on August 15, 2008 1:18 PM