Recap: Big Brother: Real Jenius

Previously on Big Brother, Jen was an idiot, Eric spoke in morse code to America with his wackadoo eyebrows, and Amber cried and begged God to help the bump on her head from that darned tether ball to stop swelling.

Amberhair-1
It's all fun and games til' someone gets head damage.

Jenius put Daniele and Dirty Dick up for eviction because they "cause negative atmosphere" and make living in the house awkward. Joe Blow is all up in areolas about it. He shrieks out as negatively as possible that no one would have any negative feelings if Jenius wasn't here, forgetting his leaky pee pee rant and the awkward suction cups on his chest.

Daniele knows that she's on the block because Jen's jealous of the suitcase key under her pillow and she doesn't seem to be too worried. Dick, well, Dick's shirt says it all.

Dickstshirt

Tis the season of wearing T-shirts that warn people about your shitty ass personality. I'm gonna get some iron on fuzzy letters to make a shirt that says "I'm Fat Because I Hate Myself". I'm trendy like that.

Jenius tells us that she nominated Dick and Daniele because she's here to crush the dreams of negative people. She doesn't want to be around anyone rude or crude. Hello, stomper of mom picture. To prove she's generous, she lets Jameka stare at her huge saline filled jugs. Jameka has already told us that she's hardly ever been around white people, and I can't help but wonder what she's gonna tell her friends when she's back at home.

Jenjinormous
So, Jameka, what were the white people like?

How do you feel about the nominations, Amber? She gives Daniele a hug and doesn't cry and make it all about herself this time. Good for you, girl! Oh, wait. There she blows.



God are you there? It's me. Margaret.

Dirty has already told us that he isn't going to stoop so low as to campaign against his own daughter. I know I give the guy a hard time, but I believe him. He may not be a good father, or a good person, or good looking...wait. I was trying to be nice. You know what I mean. Daniele, on the other hand, seems like a sweetheart, but she has no problem admitting that she's here to kick everyone's butts, including her dad's. Raaar, kitten.

Nick lays down on the floor next to her bed later on and works on a Beggin' Strip. He tells her about his alliance with Kail and the meat heads. WOAH!! What the hell has been happening on the feeds, people? Is he SERIOUS? Please tell me that she's at least put out a little. He looks in her eyes and sniffles. Oh Jesus no, not you too, Pomade Helmet! He says that he's developed feelings for her. I am offended, disgusted, and mortified.

Nickspillsthebeans
Step away from my man, bitch!

Daniele is so touched by his honesty that she admits to only being 20 and having webbed toes. They sniffle and look into each other's eyes. Which one's lying? I say her (even though Nick never squeezed out any real tears and I don't trust fake criers). People who don't eat are secretly really angry and bitter. I guess what I am trying to say is, skinny people are evil. Mark my words.

Zack lays in the hammock with Mike and agrees with me. A guy who works out as much as Nick is bound to be a sucker for girls with .01% body fat, and Daniele's blinding him with bones. He's afraid that Nick will bow out on their agreement, but he'll reserve judgment until he sees how Nick votes. "He better vote for Daniele". Harsh. Mike just lays back and nods. Hotly.

Brosbeforehos
I'm sorry...what were you saying?

America has voted for Eric to crawl into bed with Joe, and I think it's one of the most well-thought out decisions we've made as a country in a long time. I might even pull that dusty flag I bought after 9/11 out of the glove box and stick it on my antennae in the morning for the drive to work. I'm proud to be an American.

Eric paces around the living room. At first I wonder why he's acting so apprehensive about a little gayness. I mean, come on, dude. You're wearing a glitter shirt and two nipple rings. Then I realize that getting into bed with another man and getting into bed with Joe Blow are two very different things.

Ericbrowtalkh
Eric demonstrates his game plan.

Recap: Big Brother: Real Jenius Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4 

« Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Results: Cedric the Entertainer | Main | Recap: America's Got Talent: Operation: Pectoral Strength »

Comments (37)

nerrawllehctim Author Profile Page:

Great recap, Flipit. By the way, the llink to the Amber video don't work. But I may know what you are talking about. I found that video in YouTube.

Flipit Author Profile Page:

hey thanks! that video you found was the one i uploaded, silly. i just embedded it wrong. thanks for the heads up! how ridiculous is that clip?

c-rock Author Profile Page:

Hi! Why were they trying to convince Jen to nominate Joe?? My DVR recording was skipping around during playback of that scene. Just wondering how the group in the HoH room picked Joe as opposed to someone else? (besides the STD factor!)

Sowhat1234 Author Profile Page:

As always, flipit your recap was fantastic.

Let me just say this...I never liked Jen until this episode aired. Yes, she's stupid and she's also kinda falls into that gray area (mental retardation area to be specific) but she's not that dumb of a player.

This episode made me retaliate against Danorexic and Nick-a! WTF was that emo talk today? It was just incredibly awkward and to be honest, Nick isn't that hot anyway. That crying thing was the most UNCOMFORTABLE thing I have ever watched. I was trying to find out if I slit my wrist horizontally or vertically and I just bailed cuz even that was uncomfortable. Did anyone notice that his body is 200% bigger than his head?

My argument FOR Jen is simple. Jen got all "scarface" when she went up to Amber to explain to her that she was gonna put Dustin up if she would ever retaliate during the veto competition; that was a smart yet very stupid move. Jen pretty much gave her strategy away so it wouldn't be a suprise or the infamous line-- "backstabbing"-- if Jen followed through. Jen was, however, stupid enough to tell her what she was going to do. Obviously if one of your nominations takes themselves off...you're obviously going to put someone else to threatened another person's game! Jen was just stupid enough to tell them what she was going to do. She could have just kept it to herself...but of course, when your dealing with nick-a, Danorexic, Evil Dick (please flipit find a nick name for this guy), Amber (same for her too), you get people who's tempers flair up instead of a game plan. They completely overanalyzed everything. (Jen kinda falls into that category too).

Thats my two cents

LoLo Author Profile Page:

Yep. Totally choked on my morning coffee when I saw the screen grab of Eric. Good work, Flipit :)

nurseratched Author Profile Page:

wow, jen really blew up the house.

i think that nick is not all that, daniele is too skinny to even be a butterface, and i'd be really sad if dick went home.

i think it would have been wise to nominate nick because he's being a skanky ho-bag revealing his alliances and showing no qualms of being unfaithful.

and what's with jameka getting aggressive over adjectives?

the game is getting interesting.

lickitysplit Author Profile Page:

Finally the show begins! Jen has been my favorite from the start, and I'm so excited about the havoc she's causing. When one person can get the whole house screaming, it's the best ever. And her weirdo stare at Nick and Daniele was priceless.

I have a feeling that Amber's tears are going to get old soon, because they're already old for us watching. I hope Jameka slaps her.

And who is voting for Eric to do these ridiculous things? Having him go and campaign for Jess to go is the dumbest idea ever.

Love you BB8 and tvgasm!!

Foxbase Alpha Author Profile Page:

Too bad that Jen's new outfit didn't come with iron-on letters blazoned across the chest that said UNITARDED. CAMEL TOE BELOW would have worked too.

Lime23 Author Profile Page:

Oh, Flipit, hi-larious recap as usual. Particularly loved your moment of patriotic euphoria.

Just a thought: do you think maybe your obsession with where & how Nick lavishes his attentions is, I don't know, beginning to rival Jen's levels of Jenvy? Jenealousy? (Yes, yes, Daniele is one thing, but to be worrying about the length of Amber's hug?)

One correction (cause I can't help myself) -- I believe Jenius was actually attempting to be sarcastic in her "nice speech" speech. She apparently had an even nicer "nice speech" speech all planned, then kind of choked, cause Danielle wasn't as quite bitchy as she expected.

I don't know why they settled on Joe to go; I think they thought he was easy target, since no one really was aligned with him, and plus they knew that Jen was made him (Joe) because he's the one who outed Jen to Nick in kissgate. I hate her, but I think the reason Jen threatened Amber/Joe pre-veto competition is because she thought the competition might be one where the players could hinder or take out other players, and she wanted to convince Amber/Joe to take out/hinder Dani/Dick -- and not Jen/Mike. I am disappointed, though, that, after the veto comp, they didn't show Nick talking Jenius out of putting him up; that whole conversation was probably hilarious.

RachWho? Author Profile Page:

Kickass recap, Flip! Your screengrab of Kail and Amber was the best!

And as far as a T-shirt you might enjoy, might I recommend this one: http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/engrish-store_1954_5446968

I honestly bought it for my husband and he wears it with joy. He gets dirty looks from the haters, but those in the know love it. I think it should make an appearance on this season of BB, of course worn by none other than Amber.

miggs Author Profile Page:

Great recap! I like Tommy Lee- I mean Dick- more and more each episode. I hope him and Daniele have enough time together to fix their relationship.

dmbislove Author Profile Page:

Yet another hilarious recap Flipit!

Ok so why was everyone getting so mad that Jen made Amber cry? She cries about everything, all the time! I'm sure they must have noticed by now.

I actually kind of like Dick. It would be embarrassing to have him as your dad, but he doesn't seem like that bad of a guy and he seems genuine when he talks of mending his relationship with Daniele.

The America's Player missions are really stupid and they need to come up with some better ideas.

silverss396chevelle Author Profile Page:

First of all I hate Jen, but you have to wonder who the heck is feeding her all the information she has. The woman couldn’t figure her way out of a wet paper bag much less come up with all the damn shirts. I smell Dr. Will and Chilltown. Could there be yet another twist in the house? And what is with the colored mirrors hanging on the wall? Did anyone else see the faces that would come and go in the “Looking glass”? What more does Chenbot have in store for us mere mortals? Can we be so lucky to get Joe and his flaming magic nipples out of the house?


WOW this season is JENNERIFFIC JENNTACULAR and JENTERESTING

If Dick stays he needs the nick name The ExtermiJenator

slutty_whore Author Profile Page:

Flipit, like you called that guy from Top Design "Gay Dad", Nick should just be called "Gay Football Player."

slutty_whore Author Profile Page:

From a strategic point of view, however, doesn't it make MORE sense to eliminate people with alliances (Dick) earlier in the game than the people without (Joe)? I always thought the key was to nominate two-somes and if one of the two got POV, put up a member from another twosome, thus eliminating one alliance at a time and splintering house vote. In terms of Joe, his vote can be bought later in the game, by people saying they saved his ass and he owes them.

I never bought the "take out the floater" strategy offered by Kaysar during All-Stars, but then he got voted out three times in two seasons and was soundly manipulated by Treasure Troll Jennifer in Season 6, so what can you expect from him?

sparky Author Profile Page:

I get why all of you want Dick to stay, but I don't get why the houseguests do. I don't find him the least bit interesting. As for trying to be a father, he's obviously not going with the Good Role Model approach: screaming "bitch" at someone about the same age as his daughter, etc.

I missed why people want to get rid of Joe. Or does Jen think that this is a way to make sure Dick goes?

And PS: Nick is hot enough, people. We're not going to get anyone hotter this season. Don't wish him gone yet.

GIFFORDSAZ Author Profile Page:

Nice recap.... yeah, you made me laugh right out loud.....

This show is the best.. I wish it would have started in June.......

Jen must die though... we need to strangle her in her red unitard.

Wondermutt Author Profile Page:

Whoever told Jen (maybe herself) that she was hot has serious issues. Whats hot about a fat head with black eyes and gnarly nubby teeth. Her next gift should be a bag for her head. Even then...still not hot!

Good recap flpt!

Foxbase Alpha Author Profile Page:

Flipit, like you called that guy from Top Design "Gay Dad", Nick should just be called "Gay Football Player."

More like "Gay Former Pro". He played the pigskin in Finland according to Wikipedia. That's like saying you played professional basketball in Antarctica.

princesspeapod Author Profile Page:

"Mike just lays back and nods."

Yep. That seems to be pretty much his entire gameplan from what I can tell. Couldn't they at least force the eye candy to speak so we can get some screen time involving him?

Flipit Author Profile Page:

Amen, sista

chief113 Author Profile Page:

Flipit, I have two questions. 1. Are you a woman, or a gay man? I ask this because of the "Step away from my man, bitch" caption. And 2., are you really fat? I ask this because of the T shirt you said you were going to make up. PS You are hilarious. Love your writing.

Flipit Author Profile Page:

1. homo
2. i am in a constant battle with fat. i complain about it endlessly while i eat ben and jerrys
3. i love you, big chief. ty

chief113 Author Profile Page:

PPS
Your line in the last live blog about Kail hanging herself on a nail was the best line ever. Love you too. PPPS Not homo.

jampony Author Profile Page:

Great recap, as always, flip!

Tony A. Author Profile Page:

Hmmmm. Flipit: A fat homo that doesn't like Joe's over-the-top bitchiness. Excellent recapper and sneaky snarkiness. Hates Jen and thinks Amber is a wreck. Dude, you rock! But you do have the hots for pomade helmet, don't you?

Good God, these houseguests better start hiding all the knives from Amber; the girl's headed for a breakdown. What is this "I love them SO much" crap? She just met these people a couple of weeks ago! Watching her chained made me feel sorry for Kail, whom I don't like because she has the attitude of the nurse that won a couple of seasons ago. What the hell was her name?

Danielle's replaced Terri Hatcher as the reigning TV skeletor. The girl is seriously anorexic. Scary, even. No boom-boom for that baby san! And Nick was afraid he was going to cry? How old are these people, anyway? 12?

Still, I have to say the producers are off the blocks in record time this season, bringing out the looniness so quickly. Should be a good one!

slutty_whore Author Profile Page:

Tony A, I think you're referring to Maggie from Season 6.

Tony A. Author Profile Page:

Thanks, slutty. I could only remember the loud Yvette from that unholy group.

Flipit Author Profile Page:

sorry, tony a. he works out A LOT. can't help it.

hey guys! i'm making some jen-ism t-shirts today for the tvgasm store. submit yours! i don't want to use them without your permission, so if you want yours up, give me the ok.

foxbase alpha, you have a couple i want! let me know if it's ok, buddy.

LOVE

Foxbase Alpha Author Profile Page:

Flipit, knock yourself out with the tee shirts. Are you doing unitards and jorts too?

Wondermutt Author Profile Page:

Amber = another Ivette in the making!

Wondermutt Author Profile Page:

How about; Jender Reassignment

Yours if you want it, Peace.

Foxbase Alpha Author Profile Page:

Flipit, here's another appropriate one for you:

PREJENSTRUAL SYNDROME

slutty_whore Author Profile Page:

I've got one:

JENDER REASSIGNMENT

TinkerbellAPixie Author Profile Page:

Hey Flipit - we have a whole thread in the forums with all kinds of great "Jen-isms" you might find some t-shirt topics in there too buddy.

Oh and great job on the recap. You can have Nick, I'll take Zach when he's being cool - we can double. :)

Flipit Author Profile Page:

alright guys, there's a new section in the store full of Jen-isms! check it out. i will add more in the coming weeks. xo

c-rock Author Profile Page:

how 'bout "photojenic" ?!?!

Post a comment

Post a comment

3