Previously on Big Brother, Amber left the house early to concentrate on a career in print modeling.
Fiesta Used Cars loves you soooooo much!!
With Amber finally out of the house, Dick has instantaneously transformed into a sweet, charming, prince of a man. He tells us that he wishes Amber and her child the best and hopes that she continues to spread her helpful doses of sincere Christianity around the country and grows into a full fledged role model for women everywhere...er, I mean, he calls her a stupid self-righteous bitch. But I'm sure he meant well.
The only one upset over Amber's departure is, predictably, Jameka. She's sobbing. I'm sure that her tears have everything to do with sympathy for her friend and is not related at all to being completely, one hundred percent, SCREWED.
When we left off Thursday night, Zach, the Dicks, and America's Eyebrows were just beginning their butter slip n' slide relay race to fill ginormous "pots" using tiny cups of "tea". Dick knows that he doesn't have much of a chance, what with his scrawny, flabby, chainsmoking, brittle crack daddy frame, but he's pretty confident that his alliance will pull off a win. After all, it's three to one, and Zach's never showed aptitude for, well, anything.
Dick isn't doing great, but compared to Eric he's Oksana Baiul. Jessica is pretty amused by her boy toy's clumsiness and rolls her eyes and giggles with Jameka like "isn't he cuuuute?" as he falls on his ass every two seconds. Jameka, still wearing the huge flower on her head, shakes her head. That Eric is one Strange Fruit. For those of you wondering how this twitchy geek with a Caesar complex landed the cute sorority girl, check out this picture a couple friends sent me a while back:
I'll give you a hint. It's not the nipple rings.
Almost two hours into the competition, no one's pot is even at the half-way mark. A small vase is placed next to the pots and the players are told that the first one to fill the vase before the competition is over will win a phone call from home. Daniele considers going for it, but then realizes it's a dumb move. It's not like Nick has anything to say to her that can't be said with glitter and unicorn stickers in the next card he makes her if she wins HOH.
Eric, who knows he's getting whooped, decides he might as well play for the call. Being the only one going for it, he wins. Jess gives a bored, half-ass yay and Jameka starts a loop of encouraging shout outs to everyone. I have to say I was impressed that Dick didn't throw his tea cup at her head. I would have. We get it, you're a good person. Now make yourself useful and give us a song, Miss Holiday.
God bless the child that's got his own!
Two more cups are placed next to each players pot, and for each one used, the entire house will lose a day of hot water. They all take both the cups, giving up eight days of warm showers for everyone. Jess pouts. How is she supposed to take a relaxing bath after a long strenuous night of laughing at her spazzy bf? Jameka takes this as her cue to up the pep talk rhetoric. "Who wants it the most!?!" Surprisingly, this works on Dick, who picks up his speed and yells "I want my letter from that chick who was on Rockstar Supernova!" Aw, Meka! You helped Dick! Good move! Dick winning the HOH would totally be the best thing for you. (sad horns.)
Jess and Jameka clap and shout that it's anyone's game, but it's clear that this one is Zach's to lose. He has opted to use two cups instead of three and he's confident that he can make up for the missing cup with balance and speed, because, as he so humbly puts it, "I'm Zach!" LOL. Am I the only one starting to root for this douche?
It looks like Zach's plan is working, which worries Dick. You see, an hour before the competition...
Drumsticks! Synthesized rock guitars! Zach brings a plate of food into Dick's room so he can watch him spit, burp and fart during his dinner. Dick says he's pissed and wants Zach to go for telling Eric that his goal was to backdoor Dicklet the second he got the chance. Zach's all, duh. Of course he said that. He's trying to win. This pisses Dick off even more. You can tell cuz the guitars are all "dun-uh! Dun-uh!"
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Comments (15)
Janelle spinning across the backyard is the most WTF moment this show has ever seen. LOL every time I see her I get embarrassed for her.
1 of 15 | Posted by kitty![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 3, 2007 8:16 AM
Oh Flippity-Do-Da you little minx! You are once again brilliant in your analogies. I love reading your recaps, they have a whole life of their own. I've never seen anyone take such disfunctionality and make it humorous so beautifully!
Muah Quidam
2 of 15 | Posted by Quidam![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 3, 2007 8:16 AM
It still astounds me that no one is touching the Dicks (ew). They have to be all totally fearful of Dick. It's unbelievable.
Knowing they are 33% of the house left and still leaving them is just incredibly stupid. And you are right, he won't backdoor them either.
3 of 15 | Posted by DP Hooker![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 3, 2007 9:14 AM
great recap Flipit! Even this duck is looking at you like you're a moron. sooooo damn funny!
i loved Dick's "fight" with Zach. i was glad to see Dick picking on someone bigger than him, but mainly i loved how Zach was totally unfazed by Dick's ranting. i want to be on team Zach, but he really should have put up one of the Dicks.
Danielle's little pity party when Zach was complaining about Dick was really gross. *yeeeeeeeah, my dad is soooooooo awful, now you know how iiiiiiiiii feeeeeeeeeeel. (sigh) but if you put him on the block he will make your life miserable, then you will be the next one out* wtf? i don't understand how Zach didn't catch that--she isn't going to turn on her dad until the end. she wants to be in the final 2 with him to point out how awful he is so she will win. it looks like that is exactly what is going to happen too.
i really want to like Eric--outside of the house i would--i find men with no game totally irresistible. i blame the whole AP thing for making him look like such a weasel. poor Jessica.
4 of 15 | Posted by pq![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 3, 2007 9:35 AM
It's so disturbing that the Dick's are still in the house. I think at this point everyone wants to sit next to Dick in the final two.
Dicklet probably didn't want the phone call because she didn't want to get dumped by the boyfriend on national TV. Boyfriend if you are out there. I'll help ya pack up her crap and set it on the curb for you. She's a skank like the skank she came from.
5 of 15 | Posted by TheKid![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 3, 2007 10:41 AM
I never thought I'd say this but I miss Wamber. That cute little habit she had of telling God to go bless Himself, that adorable obese duck walk of hers, the constant snot dripping from her lengthy nose. The way she randomly announces to everyone what a wonderful person she is and how everyone loves her...I could go on and on but my heart is just to heavy..........Why God? Why?
6 of 15 | Posted by CheriesTake![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 3, 2007 11:23 AM
Dear Flipit:
Excellent recap, as usual. Don't complain about Schoonie getting tonight's recap: You get to do the double eviction one. I'm afraid the damned Dicks are going to win--both of them. I can't understand why Zach let that opportunity slip by and took Dick's abuse and now tries to be buddies with him. Sorry, I can't. All I can think of is that his pea-sized brain tells him "Danielle good, Eric evil" every time he cogitates his choices. If the holder of the POV keeps things as they are, then both Jameka and Jess go home. That leaves butt-kissing, simple-minded Zach with the Dicks and...Eric. Wanna lay bets on the winner? Shades of last year, when we had to choose between equally repulsive Erika and Boogie.
Y'know, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Dicklet is just as evil as Dick. And, damn it, Dick will still get $50K!
Re Eric: He did better than anyone else already. he's got $30K and counting, plus whatever the HGs get for being there, will enjoy a week in Mexico (at least), got to hang out with a cute girl that he normally wouldn't get outside the house and he played a pretty decent game as AP. As far as I'm concerned, the game's over.
7 of 15 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 4, 2007 8:47 AM
It actually made me happy when I heard that Janelle was going to be on the show. I then grinned from ear to ear when I saw that picture of her spinning!!! I love her. I also heard that that rat, Eric, insulted her. I really hate his ass. I als9o hate him for fucking up Jessica's game. He needs an ass-whooping right quick. I hope he gets the boot and is found out.
8 of 15 | Posted by ClariceStarling![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 4, 2007 9:42 AM
Dear Amber's god, it's me, Lime23. Please don't let the Donatos win. Pleasepleaseplease. I really don't think they qualify as "good people". I don't even think they qualify as adequate people. Anyone but them, really. God bless you.
OK, here's the thing, now that Dick's rants have subsided (aside from his occasional comment about "if this had been real life, I would have killed her & buried her body in the back yard" -- yes, everyday dinnertime conversation, really), I shockingly find myself rooting against Dicklet even more. Can that be possible? Is that wrong? Probably.
And, Janelle. Oh, Janelle. What was that? Was that a Dr. Will twirl? I loved you in S6 & S7, I really did, and now this? plus, you're rooting for Danielle & Dick? what? WHAT? This is too much. I may have to go lie down now.
Tony A.: Does the double eviction mean both nominees go home? I assumed it would be another fastforward like last year (where they do all competitions in one live show); have you heard otherwise?
9 of 15 | Posted by Lime23![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 4, 2007 11:19 AM
Janelle twirling was the highlight of my summer! it's just not a summer with out Janelle! maybe she can stay int he house and win this time!
intern nick
10 of 15 | Posted by ByeByeBitches![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 4, 2007 3:26 PM
Flipit Dear.... stop praying, God went to the sequester house with Amber.
11 of 15 | Posted by chooch850![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 5, 2007 5:22 AM
Lime 23:
Hmmmm. I think they just speed everything up by telling people they have to make up their minds RIGHT NOW! So, Jess and Eric can kiss the house good-bye and...the Dicks win. DAMMIT!!! THAT'S JUST SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
12 of 15 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 5, 2007 9:26 AM
Lime 23:
Hmmmm. I think they just speed everything up by telling people they have to make up their minds RIGHT NOW! So, Jess and Eric can kiss the house good-bye and...the Dicks win. DAMMIT!!! THAT'S JUST SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
13 of 15 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 5, 2007 9:29 AM
If I remember correctly last year when there was a double eviction this is what happened. One of the nominees was evicted, HOH comp was played, winner of HOH had to pick 2 nominees right then and there, and then there was another vote and eviction.
14 of 15 | Posted by Corri2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 5, 2007 11:02 AM
For Jen fans, I don't know if this is old news, but just saw this video interview:
http://www.realityremix.tv/podcast_viewer.php?id=169
Aw, poor Jen. She seems kind of sad. It makes me want to give her a big hug & tell it's all going to be OK (just as long as she doesn't associate with Mike Boogie anymore).
15 of 15 | Posted by Lime23![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on September 5, 2007 12:54 PM