He gets his finger in Zach's face and calls him a liar and a backstabber. Zach just calmly watches him and eats his sandwich. He says he's never lied to Dick and he's had his back the whole game. Woah, those guitars are really blaring now. Dick screams about him accusing the Dicklets of having thirty three percent of the power, and Zach's like "uh...you do." Duh again.
Dick doesn't like it when he throws a fit and doesn't get a reaction, so he blurts out a string of cocksucker dumbass shithead loser piece of garbage lying sack of shits and kicks the unfazed Zach out of the room. Drumroll guitar lick spit burp fart.
Zach's reaction to the bile never got more heated than "whatever." HA. He either just took a page from the book of Jenius by not letting Dick get a rise out of him, or he's just as desensitized to and bored with the old codger's ranting and raving as I am. You can't really top threatening to brutally ass rape a girl and then crush her throat. Learn some new tricks, old dog.
The Boy Who Cried Cocksucker Dumbass Shithead Loser Piece of Garbage Lying Sack of Shit
The preceding flashback inspired Dick to slide faster and harder, and he has almost caught up to Zach, who is stopping to try and fish the ball out of one of the holes in the top of the pot. That he's so much of a lug he doesn't ever quite get it into his head that his fingers and the ball can't both fit through one of the tiny holes at the same time just makes me root for him more. And he wins!
Eric takes losing very well, claiming he didn't want to be on the stupid football team with a bunch of meatheaded morons anyway. His mom made him try out. True modern athletes play Halo!
No one is happy with Zach's win, but he slides down the slip n' slide on his tummy and celebrates anyway. Dick is kicking himself for getting rid of Amber instead of Zach. That dumb heiffer wouldn't have had a chance against him in this one! Wait, are you really bragging that you could have beat the slow chunky girl? Wow. You're more athletic than Amber. Congratulations, Jack LaLanne.
Eric has the choice of using his phone call from home or giving it to someone else. He and Jameka are the only ones who haven't had any contact from the outside world at all, but he decides a phone call's the least he could do for Jessica after screwing her over by convincing her, against her better judgment, to stay under the Dick's thumbs so he could win some money. I really feel for Jess as she accepts the gift like a housewife tearing up over guilt flowers from her husband. OMG he totally loooves me! Sorry, nope. He drunkenly banged a hooker on a business trip and brought home herpes.
Enjoy the carnations, sucka!
Eric tries to act calm and quiet in front of the other HG's, but those Eyebrows don't lie. He looks like he's gonna cry as he tells us how bad he feels for convincing Jess that Zach wasn't a threat. She tells him it's ok, but he can't respond. Aw. That's sweet. I hope you plan on writing her a fat check when this is all said and done, boner.
The Dick's convene. Daniele says she isn't worried at all. Zach's gonna put up Jess and Jameka. She is convinced that she can grab him by his little knob and get through the week, but Dick isn't so sure. He brings up Amber again, saying she wouldn't have a fucking chance in hell of winning that one and they should have kept her instead of Zach. HA. Sorry to tell you this, Dick, but there are are no women left who are physically weaker than you. It's a fact you're just gonna have to try and accept. In the meantime, cheer up, mate. Next time you're on the block, I wouldn't put it past this show to make the Veto Competition a farting contest just to keep you in the house.
Eric finds Jessica and promises that he'll do whatever he can to save her. Unless he has a chance to win money by not saving her. He is positive that Zach won't put up Dick or Daniele, but don't worry, he assures his squeak toy, it'll probably be him and Jameka on the block! Jessica mutters that it's all ok as she stares at the fireplace, where her dead carnations sit in a dusty vase.
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Comments (15)
Janelle spinning across the backyard is the most WTF moment this show has ever seen. LOL every time I see her I get embarrassed for her.
1 of 15 | Posted by kitty
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Posted on September 3, 2007 8:16 AM
Oh Flippity-Do-Da you little minx! You are once again brilliant in your analogies. I love reading your recaps, they have a whole life of their own. I've never seen anyone take such disfunctionality and make it humorous so beautifully!
Muah Quidam
2 of 15 | Posted by Quidam
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Posted on September 3, 2007 8:16 AM
It still astounds me that no one is touching the Dicks (ew). They have to be all totally fearful of Dick. It's unbelievable.
Knowing they are 33% of the house left and still leaving them is just incredibly stupid. And you are right, he won't backdoor them either.
3 of 15 | Posted by DP Hooker
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Posted on September 3, 2007 9:14 AM
great recap Flipit! Even this duck is looking at you like you're a moron. sooooo damn funny!
i loved Dick's "fight" with Zach. i was glad to see Dick picking on someone bigger than him, but mainly i loved how Zach was totally unfazed by Dick's ranting. i want to be on team Zach, but he really should have put up one of the Dicks.
Danielle's little pity party when Zach was complaining about Dick was really gross. *yeeeeeeeah, my dad is soooooooo awful, now you know how iiiiiiiiii feeeeeeeeeeel. (sigh) but if you put him on the block he will make your life miserable, then you will be the next one out* wtf? i don't understand how Zach didn't catch that--she isn't going to turn on her dad until the end. she wants to be in the final 2 with him to point out how awful he is so she will win. it looks like that is exactly what is going to happen too.
i really want to like Eric--outside of the house i would--i find men with no game totally irresistible. i blame the whole AP thing for making him look like such a weasel. poor Jessica.
4 of 15 | Posted by pq
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Posted on September 3, 2007 9:35 AM
It's so disturbing that the Dick's are still in the house. I think at this point everyone wants to sit next to Dick in the final two.
Dicklet probably didn't want the phone call because she didn't want to get dumped by the boyfriend on national TV. Boyfriend if you are out there. I'll help ya pack up her crap and set it on the curb for you. She's a skank like the skank she came from.
5 of 15 | Posted by TheKid
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Posted on September 3, 2007 10:41 AM
I never thought I'd say this but I miss Wamber. That cute little habit she had of telling God to go bless Himself, that adorable obese duck walk of hers, the constant snot dripping from her lengthy nose. The way she randomly announces to everyone what a wonderful person she is and how everyone loves her...I could go on and on but my heart is just to heavy..........Why God? Why?
6 of 15 | Posted by CheriesTake
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Posted on September 3, 2007 11:23 AM
Dear Flipit:
Excellent recap, as usual. Don't complain about Schoonie getting tonight's recap: You get to do the double eviction one. I'm afraid the damned Dicks are going to win--both of them. I can't understand why Zach let that opportunity slip by and took Dick's abuse and now tries to be buddies with him. Sorry, I can't. All I can think of is that his pea-sized brain tells him "Danielle good, Eric evil" every time he cogitates his choices. If the holder of the POV keeps things as they are, then both Jameka and Jess go home. That leaves butt-kissing, simple-minded Zach with the Dicks and...Eric. Wanna lay bets on the winner? Shades of last year, when we had to choose between equally repulsive Erika and Boogie.
Y'know, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Dicklet is just as evil as Dick. And, damn it, Dick will still get $50K!
Re Eric: He did better than anyone else already. he's got $30K and counting, plus whatever the HGs get for being there, will enjoy a week in Mexico (at least), got to hang out with a cute girl that he normally wouldn't get outside the house and he played a pretty decent game as AP. As far as I'm concerned, the game's over.
7 of 15 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on September 4, 2007 8:47 AM
It actually made me happy when I heard that Janelle was going to be on the show. I then grinned from ear to ear when I saw that picture of her spinning!!! I love her. I also heard that that rat, Eric, insulted her. I really hate his ass. I als9o hate him for fucking up Jessica's game. He needs an ass-whooping right quick. I hope he gets the boot and is found out.
8 of 15 | Posted by ClariceStarling
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Posted on September 4, 2007 9:42 AM
Dear Amber's god, it's me, Lime23. Please don't let the Donatos win. Pleasepleaseplease. I really don't think they qualify as "good people". I don't even think they qualify as adequate people. Anyone but them, really. God bless you.
OK, here's the thing, now that Dick's rants have subsided (aside from his occasional comment about "if this had been real life, I would have killed her & buried her body in the back yard" -- yes, everyday dinnertime conversation, really), I shockingly find myself rooting against Dicklet even more. Can that be possible? Is that wrong? Probably.
And, Janelle. Oh, Janelle. What was that? Was that a Dr. Will twirl? I loved you in S6 & S7, I really did, and now this? plus, you're rooting for Danielle & Dick? what? WHAT? This is too much. I may have to go lie down now.
Tony A.: Does the double eviction mean both nominees go home? I assumed it would be another fastforward like last year (where they do all competitions in one live show); have you heard otherwise?
9 of 15 | Posted by Lime23
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Posted on September 4, 2007 11:19 AM
Janelle twirling was the highlight of my summer! it's just not a summer with out Janelle! maybe she can stay int he house and win this time!
intern nick
10 of 15 | Posted by ByeByeBitches
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Posted on September 4, 2007 3:26 PM
Flipit Dear.... stop praying, God went to the sequester house with Amber.
11 of 15 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on September 5, 2007 5:22 AM
Lime 23:
Hmmmm. I think they just speed everything up by telling people they have to make up their minds RIGHT NOW! So, Jess and Eric can kiss the house good-bye and...the Dicks win. DAMMIT!!! THAT'S JUST SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
12 of 15 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on September 5, 2007 9:26 AM
Lime 23:
Hmmmm. I think they just speed everything up by telling people they have to make up their minds RIGHT NOW! So, Jess and Eric can kiss the house good-bye and...the Dicks win. DAMMIT!!! THAT'S JUST SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
13 of 15 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on September 5, 2007 9:29 AM
If I remember correctly last year when there was a double eviction this is what happened. One of the nominees was evicted, HOH comp was played, winner of HOH had to pick 2 nominees right then and there, and then there was another vote and eviction.
14 of 15 | Posted by Corri2
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Posted on September 5, 2007 11:02 AM
For Jen fans, I don't know if this is old news, but just saw this video interview:
http://www.realityremix.tv/podcast_viewer.php?id=169
Aw, poor Jen. She seems kind of sad. It makes me want to give her a big hug & tell it's all going to be OK (just as long as she doesn't associate with Mike Boogie anymore).
15 of 15 | Posted by Lime23
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Posted on September 5, 2007 12:54 PM