Previously on Big Brother, HOLY CRAP, DOES CHENBOT HAVE A PENIS?
Very funny, guys! Someone call the parts department and get Zach's penis off the bot!
It's not just me, right? There's camel toe, and then there's baby foot.
Good lord, woman. Lower that card.
OK, on with the show. Tonight we get a "Special Live Veto"! The season's almost over and our friendly Bank of America Teller Bot gets right down to brass taxes. It's the Dicks VS the floaters, evil vs plain ignant, and for six dollars extra with new accounts you'll receive checks with bunnies on them!
Flashback to Zach's highlarious nomination speech. He hates having to choose between his "two best friends" in the house and Jameka, who, he earnestly claims, has restored his faith "with God". Yay, Jameka! You caught one! You may not have a shot of Hell in winning this show, but you'll get like thirty virgins when you land in Heaven. No one seems to really buy Zach's instant conversion. The Dicks laugh and snicker and Jameka exhales and raises her eyebrows in a decent attempt to hide the "WHAT THE F SHUT IT, BLOCKHEAD!" rant you know is boiling beneath that calm exterior.
Zach goes on to say that Dick's tactics were disgusting, but they worked and they were incredible. Teamed with the biggest competition winner in the house, the Donato family is unbeatable, and it's just not fair. The Dicks giggle and snicker "nanny nanny boo boo, your mommy smells like doo doo!" and do a pinky shake. Zach continues on like a bad imitation of Jimmy Stewart letting Mr. Potter have it. He says "No one's had the stones to try and muscle you out, but I'm the muscle and I'm gonna try to muscle you out." Dicklet laughs so hard she coughs up a chunk of a half digested Twizzler.
Alone in the kitchen, the Dicks talk about what a stupid speech Zach gave. They've been the most targeted players in the house and they have gotten to the end against all odds! Zach comes in to get a drink and Dick starts with the sniping "liar cheat pathetic disgusting weak hated loooooza" while Dicklet sits on her perch and watches gleefully. Zach is as bored with this pair as I am. He shrugs Dick off and saunters into Jameka's room, but all she has to say is "thank you, very much." What'd you expect, a coffee klatch? He has to walk back through the kitchen on his way upstairs to putter around the HOH suite mumbling the hours away. The second he crosses into the room, Dick is on him again with the taunting. The guy's consistent as hell. Zach nods and smiles as he passes and condescendingly calls Dick the "mastermind of season 8". Dick snaps back "we'll see who's in the final three, bitch." With a go-getter attitude like that, how can he fail?
And now it's time, finally, to check in on the jury house! It's a beautiful mansion, and the first one to arrive to dirty the pool slide is Dustin. It's inspiring to see that your eviction hasn't made you feel insecure, babe.
Oh, darn! You were outside when International Male called! Better luck next time!
Jenius is next to arrive, and when she catches the sight of Dustin posing with his cosmo, she giggles and calls him a silly nellie. He nominated her and she evicted him, so it could get pretty awkward...NAH! Before you know it, they're bumping butts and rolling balls around on the pool table. Amber's up next, and she...cries. She makes a toast and says she hopes a bad person comes through the door next. Does Jess fit that description? Amber's not sure. Jess was the one that got her and Dustin out, but she stamps her with "good person" and welcomes her into the house. There's only one "good person" stamp left, and that's for Jameka, so when Eric enters the kitchen, Amber just grabs a Sharpie and writes "dirty greedy Jew" on his forehead and calls it a day.
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Comments (22)
YUCK! I hate the Dicks. Seeing them next to one another on the nomination couch reminded me of the waiting room at a methadone clinic.
1 of 22 | Posted by sbm713 | Posted on September 12, 2007 6:36 AM
Love the recap, Flipit; although calling the cute baby a tree frog is just wrong. (And still I laughed).
2 of 22 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 12, 2007 9:16 AM
Jameka gets voted out and god causes it to rain for 40 days and 40 nights in the big bro house!
3 of 22 | Posted by nichalobeze8 | Posted on September 12, 2007 9:20 AM
I'm disappointed but not surprised that, other than most fans on this site and others who watched the feeds, America, assisted by CBS's positive portrayal, just luuuv Dick and Dicklet.
Look at who is running our country (with the full support of middle America) . . . a bunch of bullies who intimidate and name-call when they don't get their way. Critical of how we sucked into this clusterfuck in Iraq or are you critical of how badly we've made things worse since then? Then you get called unpatriotic and a supporter of terrorists.
Not that Zach isn't still an idiot doofus (his "samurai sword" mind notwithstanding), I pray he makes the final two. Even though he is manifestly undeserving of winning, I would love to see everyone in the house give him the prize as a big F-you to the surviving Donato.
I pray we never have another all-star season because you know CBS will subject us to these two again.
-JR
4 of 22 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on September 12, 2007 9:49 AM
Heh. So, our only prayer of screwing the Donatos is to cheer for the dummy that had no brains or a decent chance. Hm. So, then, all he needs is to win the final challenge and he's in the final 2. Hm. OK, I like the odds. That challenge of holding onto the key looks like a good chance for Zach. I don't see Dick going that long without a cigarette and Dicklet may be a whiz at memory games but this physical challenge looks like a better shot for Zack. That means (oh, this is delicious!) that the Dicks will have to fight each other in challenge 2. Oh, yeah, baby! Now let's see if Dick can cow the members of sequester house into voting for Dicklet to win. Surely Dick would let her win challenge 2, wouldn't he? How else can he earn her love? Oh, this is turning out LOVELY! Go, Zach! Maybe this will stop people from laughing at you!
5 of 22 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on September 12, 2007 10:18 AM
Au contraire, mon frere, Jason R. I would LOVE to see the Dicklets go against Chilltown and Alison and Jun. What a fuckfest that would be!
6 of 22 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on September 12, 2007 10:25 AM
JasonR said:
"I'm disappointed but not surprised that, other than most fans on this site and others who watched the feeds, America, assisted by CBS's positive portrayal, just luuuv Dick and Dicklet.
Look at who is running our country (with the full support of middle America) . . . a bunch of bullies who intimidate and name-call when they don't get their way. Critical of how we sucked into this clusterfuck in Iraq or are you critical of how badly we've made things worse since then? Then you get called unpatriotic and a supporter of terrorists."
JasonR... to quote that Geico Caveman commercial where the woman kinda rants a little bit on a MSNBC style talk show...
Caveman: "Yes I have a response. Um, whaaat???"
are you seriously comparing the Donatos on BB8 to George Bush and the United States' Foreign Policy???
PDS
President of "DON'T SPOIL THE SHOW" (edited by Schoonie)
7 of 22 | Posted by poor, dead shannon | Posted on September 12, 2007 10:48 AM
During the live show, every time Dick knows the camera is on him, he grins like he's really pleased with himself, and does this weird chewing movement with his jaw. Is he actually chewing something, or is that just another weird Dick affection? Whatever it is, looks really lame and annoying. Bah! Can't stand him.
8 of 22 | Posted by mmagruder | Posted on September 12, 2007 1:07 PM
PDS, I'm simply trying to figure out how Dick could be so popular despite his disgusting and abusive behavior, and a tone has been set in this country that allows stuff like what we've seen this summer to be "ok." That's all I'm saying.
BTW if your sign-off is some kind of spoiler then I'm really pissed.
9 of 22 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on September 12, 2007 1:18 PM
Er, "affectation" (not affection, Rob forbid).
10 of 22 | Posted by mmagruder | Posted on September 12, 2007 1:19 PM
great re-cap Flipit--i love the screencaps!
this episode was really hard to watch. the dicks aren't people i love to hate, i just hate them and i'm not really interested in watching them if they have another all-star season. i don't see what so many people like about them.
seeing the jury house made me realize how much i miss Jen, and how much easier it must be for all of them now that they are away from dick.
i love the way Zach deals with dick, especially when he points out the errors in dick's game. i don't think that Zach will win the final HOH, but i would LOVE to see dick's reaction when Zach sends dicklet out of the house. of course Zach would probably have to lock himself in the HOH room for the rest of his time in the house, but it would still be a beautiful thing.
11 of 22 | Posted by p.q. | Posted on September 12, 2007 3:32 PM
I would love to see Eric in an all star season without the AP hinderence. Of course Chilltown would slay everyone and win again. But it would be fun to watch.
Please Dear God (aka BB producers) let Zach get to the final two.
12 of 22 | Posted by cajah | Posted on September 12, 2007 3:50 PM
Do Dani and DICK! you guys rule! The others besides JEN SUCK!
13 of 22 | Posted by fr94114 | Posted on September 12, 2007 4:23 PM
GO Dani and Dick! You guys rule and have made Big Brother better than all pastseasons combined!
14 of 22 | Posted by fr94114 | Posted on September 12, 2007 4:28 PM
Ok flipit, that's IT! You owe me another keyboard. I was ready for "Earnest goes to Hell" but when you said they showed a picture of Jameka's "adorable pet tree frog, Daisy" I lost it. Iced tea all over the keyboard. I guess it's my own fault, I should know by now that you are just too damn funny!
Love, Love, Love
15 of 22 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on September 12, 2007 4:49 PM
I feel like a bad person for enjoying the sight of Dick and Dani getting doused with freezing cold water so very much.
I'm glad they decided to make this endurance comp so brutal. Seeing them punished for being on the show helps diffuse my anger and puts things into perspective.
16 of 22 | Posted by Anna Rain | Posted on September 12, 2007 5:32 PM
I completely agree with JasonR - the Donatos, primarily Dick, and to a lesser degree diklet, have attempted to rule the house with fear, and intimidation.
17 of 22 | Posted by alias_x1 | Posted on September 12, 2007 7:13 PM
You left out the best part! The extremely awkward hug. What did Julie say when Jameka said she was going to hug her? Something like "oh yes, please do" Love, love, love the Chenbot!
18 of 22 | Posted by isabell | Posted on September 12, 2007 8:02 PM
Hey, Does anyone know how to get tickets to the BB8 finale? Is it even possible?
19 of 22 | Posted by bbsocal | Posted on September 12, 2007 8:18 PM
What the heck is going on with the sign on??? It keeps getting harder & harder -- or is it just me?
Anyway, on a light-ish note, YOU BE THE JUDGE: Dick Donato: Saboteur? oui ou non?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBhFnknGqoE
??? why does he put something in his pocket? why does he palm a blue ball when he's supposed to be, say, using 2 hands to catch the green ones? and, why, days later, does CBS claim it "just bounced in"?? As Jameka would say, mmmmmmhmmmmm. (j/k, it is just silly & meaningless at this point, of course.)
20 of 22 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on September 12, 2007 8:57 PM
I just noticed that Dani is rocking the mandana to cover her roots.
21 of 22 | Posted by isabell | Posted on September 12, 2007 9:05 PM
I didn't watch it... I knew what was going to happen by reading updates and didn't want to hear skeletor squeal like a pig when things are going her way.
God I can't freaking stand the D's.
I bet the show didn't show Dick going around the house saying that they won huh?
Can't freaking stand that BB edits them so much to try to force us to like them.
22 of 22 | Posted by shollia | Posted on September 13, 2007 10:43 AM