Oh my goodness, I needed that laugh. Brilliant recap, Flipit.

I signed up to this site, just to tell you your blog is brilliant, and you are a Jenius!!!

I signed up to this site, simply to tell you that your blog is AMAZING, and that you are a Jenius!!

Enjoy your ego boost!!

I have gotten the live feeds for years. This is the first year I am embarrassed to watch. This AP twist is a joke. It is all for the D&D fans to get them to the end. That "horrible person Amber" said if she won money on POT she would give it to her mom. Dicklet said she wanted a car cause she is poor, uh huh. If she hadn't spent 20,000 on that boob job maybe she could have gotten that car. And then when she didn't go far on POT she announced to the live feeds late one night that if anyone wanted to buy her a car they could. and Jen is the shallow one?!?!?
Yesterday Dick had a hair dryer bag on his head. Will CBS show that with condescending music on tomorrows show? He looked like an idiot while telling Amber what a joke he thought she was. But CBS will never vilify that man!! Yet, they seem to enjoy making fun of Jem praying with background organ music. Somehow a Christian praying is funnier to CBS than Kaysar doing his prayers 5 times a day the last two seasons.
I have canceled my live feeds. God help us when we make people like the Donatos heroes.

I'm still rooting for Eric, but what a boneheaded move!!!! He had a golden opportunity to get rid of Daniele and blew it. This will come back to haunt him.

hysterical!!!. right on the money.

OK Flipit, that was hands down the funniest recap I've read all season. Scrootnie, Amber's like "God" and Jameka's all "The Lord", telenovela captions, and Mirriam Webster - well done. Very well done.

I am seriously hoping that Amber gets the boot this week. Can you imagine being laughed at on national television for not knowing a word that's probably on most 6th grade vocabulary tests? (Wait, what does "vocabulary" mean?) Maybe she'll show greater aptitude with Spanish . . .

And yes, CBS is inexplicably editing Dick in a good light. Maybe they know what they're doing as the ratings are up this year, but I still hate to see it. It's kind of like MTV turning The Real World into a booze-fueled orgy show instead of the fairly interesting "young people from different backgrounds living together" experiment that was the first couple of seasons.

As to the matter of CBS "making fun" of the Christians : I think that most people generally dislike hypocrites (I know I do). Big Brother has a history of showing that even though you may be wearing a cross or holding a Bible, it doesn't automatically make you a honest or even decent person. In fact the opposite is often the case. Some of the most reviled people on the show have considered themselves the "best" thanks to their faith.

Why didn't they show Kaysar's praying in a negative light? Well gee, maybe it was because he never asked Allah to help him win the POV, never told Allah to bless himself, he never wanted to "taste" Allah (still very weird), and never said that Allah had pre-ordained him to get to the final two. I guess maybe the producers have respect for people who simply have faith instead of making a show of it.

Anyway, so I've got this saucepan . . . . . .

I love that posts #2 and 3 lauding you for your brilliance were posted by "faker". Ha ha.

Don't worry - the rest of us think you're extremely adequate!!

LOVE

Awsome recap Flipit!! I agree it's one of the funniest this year.

Jessica prophesized (is that a word?) that her and Eric will feel mighty stupid when they're sitting on the block next week. And she's right poor thing. She's the only one left I can stand.

And there MUST be a reason why CBS is whitewashing Dick. Does anyone have a theory? I'm at a loss...

And still nothing about Dicklets Homely Boyfriend eh?

Pierce, let me tell you what you can do with that saucepan... :-P

Oooooh! Fun with saucepans!

Erik was such a tool with veto speech...so over dramatic. can this guy be for real? And I agree with sweetblondie up there, poor Danille boyfriend. Here the girl is crying on national TV because she didnt get to see Nick, and why big brother, why send Nick and not the boyfriend? poor guy.

"HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCRUTINIZE MEANS".

What a knob! What an absolute and utter fool. Yes, Eric should have put up Danile, but I will be very happy to see that fucking ignoramus leave.

Kris-watch update (since PDS refuses to help): Pierce, I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but I believe Dani has just commented recently that Kris "probably" has broken up w/ her by now.

Re: strategy: I think Eric resolved to keep his commitment to D&D for the following reasons: (1) he may not entirely trust D&D, but he certainly doesn't trust Amber or Zack either (he knows that Amber is actively trying to turn Jess against him, and that Zack has made the same kind of proposals to D&D about getting out E/J, etc.); (2) he knows America hates Amber & LOVES Dick (& by extension his Dicklet), and that America will likely get into Nick-levels of rage if Eric goes against America's wishes yet again (& will seek to screw him again & again, instead of just intermittently); and, finally, (3) he also knows that if he, say, takes off Zack or Amber & then Jess puts up Daniele/Dick, that America will nevertheless force him to vote to KEEP Daniele/Dick, and then everyone in the house will know it's him with the hinky vote YET AGAIN, and he will be left with zero allies and zero credibility. His current play is really the only viable one he has, I think.

Thanks for the acknowledgement Flipit,it made my day, but I really feel for Wamber's kid. She's probably wearing a wig and sunglasses today. Hey Lexie, was that your Mom on Tv last night?
Me a no a speak a engleesshh, por favor, please to call DFACS,Si Senior, someone a call a Angelina Jolie.............

"HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCRUTINIZE MEANS".

What a knob! What an absolute and utter fool. Yes, Eric should have put up Danile, but I will be very happy to see that fucking ignoramus leave.

"HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCRUTINIZE MEANS".

What a knob! What an absolute and utter fool. Yes, Eric should have put up Danile, but I will be very happy to see that fucking ignoramus leave.

Amazingly funny recap! You made my Wednesday, thank you!

"HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCRUTINIZE MEANS".

What a knob! What an absolute and utter fool. Yes, Eric should have put up Danile, but I will be very happy to see that fucking ignoramus leave.

All right, bitchchristine (# 12, 15, 16, 18) we get it!

I discovered what Wamber's necklace is! Look at the snippet from POT and you'll see her speak into it. It's her personal communicator to God. Either that, or a microphone. God bless you, God.

I have to agree with others, one of the funniest posts ever. As soon as I pulled it up and saw the first screencap it took me 10 minutes to catch my breath from laughing. When I finally (thought) I'd regained my composure I called a friend to tell her about it and it took me almost 5 minutes to spit it out because I couldn't stop laughing. My other fave screencap in this recap is Hooch of Household. That's some funny shit, Flipit.

I have decided I am going to root for Jessica (since Jen is gone) and I have a very bad feeling about next week. The Dicks are going to flip on her and Eric so fast their heads will spin. And if Zach stays this week, he's pissed so he will vote however the Dicks tell him to. I am so ready for Daniele to go home. I can't stand her whiny voice any longer.

America's seriously fucked up by cheering on the Donatos. What despicable, shallow and selfish people they are. I do hope Daniele wins it, if only to see her dump Dick the dick. How cruel of her to dump poor earnest boyfriend at home for a failed European US football ex-player. Hell, even Dustin probably has a better job than Nick has.

What does Eric do for a living? I think Jess is a good actress, feigning all that affection for Eric just to keep him on her side. Whoever commented on Eric being helpless at the moment because if he tries to oust the Dicks would provoke a reaction from America has it right. He has to get while the getting's good and there's a chance he can end up in the final two with Jess, where I would hope she'll pull a Charla on him. Wonder how much money he's made so far?

Zach's got no room to bitch. Amber'll probably be sent home and I recall his breaking his word a couple of times when it cane time to vote. He, too, had a chance to promote ousting Dick when he (Dick) was at his peak but chose instead to keep him.

I have the feeling Eric is also playing Jess for the alliance, but he won't stand a chance against her if they should be final two. But, he's beginning to set off my gaydar. Should I take it in for repairs or does anyone else think that?

I haven't commented here in over a year, but Flipit, that recap was pure brilliance. Thanks — brought back memories of the good 'ol days of B-Side.

I think Dick is being edited well because he makes for good ratings. He's a complete fucktard, but honestly: Would any of us be watching if he wasn't around? Laughing at Amber crying is a helluva lot of fun, but it loses a bit of its luster each time. So if CBS edits him any differently, we'd all probably have tried to have him ousted by America's Eyebrows by now. That would be a boner financial move by the network.

One more thing to consider: Dick is awful, no doubt. But he makes a lot of the same observations that our beloved recappers do. Amber is a fucking Jesus freak moron who equates her dog with her daughter, for instance. He's got a level of common sense and plain-spokenness in the DR (and sometimes outside of it) that I admire. But yes, he's a total asshole and every time I realize his whiny daughter is going to break his heart all over again when this show is done I get a good chuckle. It's his achilles-heel blindspot, and it's awesome.

I have a question and a comment/theory. First my question. What is the Charla reference about? I watched TAR and I assume it is in regard to Scmirna. But what's the story? Can anyone please explain? Thanks in advance.

Now my comment/theory. Does anyone else wonder if maybe Daniele's boyfriend was asked to be on POT but declined??? THAT would be hilarious. And justice.

oooooo Corri2! Love the Homley Boyfriend theory and I can only hope that's true!! (but I doubt it)

Tony A., I don't think either Jess or Eric are playing each other, simply because they would be talking about it in the diary room. Remember Erika and Boogie?

*shudder*

Who knows if it would last outside of BB, (not likely is my guess) but at least in the house it seems a real showmance.

Flipit,
It is very clear from your comments that you don't have a personal relationship with God or any knowledge of Him. I pray that before you leave this earth you receive Him.
However, in the meantime,it would be in your best interest not to put down things you do not understand or know. Less to repent later on. Capece(sp)?

I'm thinking that Nick is a stalker. All I've seen from him since his eviction is how he obsesses over Daniele.

Cajah --

I don't think Jess or Eric are playing each other either, but -- hang on to your bandanas & your saucepans -- Eric's former(?) current(?) unclosured (?) girlfriend is going to be on tomorrow's show & she says "it's just strategy." Oh my.

Doesn't she know the wedding (& the post show reality show "we're not in kansas anymore") has already been fully planned?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WiPjaiL9JA

In other news, California's version of NOW is trying to get Dick kicked out of the house. HahaHA. LIKE CBS is going to let THAT happen.

All right. Gotta say something about the mspeaay comment.

With all due respect to your beliefs : One of the reasons that some people grow weary of religious folks is because of the doctrine of proselytizing and their general disdain for those who dare disagree with them.

I mean really, to come on a board dealing with reality TV and telling someone you've never met what is in their "best interest." That's pretty freaking arrogant.

I think by now you probably have a pretty good idea of the tone of the recaps here at TVGasm and if they're not to your liking it may be in your best interest (sarcasm people) to not keep reading them. Less to complain about later on. Capisce? (correct spelling)

Pierce...WORD!!!

Flpt...totally bitchin' recap!!!!

This has become the most religious season we ever had. Three cheers for the Bible!

HOLLA
Thanks so much for the props, gasmii! You gave me a great day!! xo

As far as my relationship with God...Meemaw is that you?

I would like to think that God is as annoyed as me that people are using him as (as saff from abfab put it) some sort of cosmic cash machine in the sky.

I can remember being a kid and suffering through my tortuous first week at Catholic school where I was told I was going to Hell for everything from getting caught with a Liza cassette (I swear that is no lie) to wearing thick glasses (also true. Beware of Catholic School).

Finally, after a week of being beaten up, made fun of, and judged by a bunch of devils in white robes, I cried my eyes out and railed against God. He must be a real jerk if He wanted his people to act like that. It was that afternoon that my father gave me this beautiful piece of advice that I carry to this day:

"Flipit, don't blame Christ, blame the fakers who call themselves Christians. They're the real assholes." Amen.

Peace

Flipit that was not Amber's sister on POT it was her cousin from Ohio. I wonder why they didn't bring her sister or her mom? Or Dani's grandma? Weird choices for both girls. I am over food competitions and wish they still had to compete to get the padlock removed from the jacuzzi & weights and stuff like past seasons!!!

Props to Flipit for the MOST excellent recap - funniest of the season. I was so looking forward to your screencaps & snarky comments b/c I just knew 3 would be on here ---- Eric with the banana in his mouth in the gym, Amber's lady-like pose on the HOH bed & Eric and Zach simultaneously landing on the tree post during the veto...all 3 screencaps were great!

Whoever posted all 3 reasons why Eric didn't use the veto -- I totally agree with what you saying but only to a certain extent. I don't know if Eric is smart enough to think of all that while weighing his options. I kinda wonder if he didn't put up Daniele b/c he's so flippin' scared of Dickster coming after him making his life a living hell. I don't know - just a thought.

Also, does anyone know why we haven't seen the HGs in the sequester house yet? Every season, they showed their arrival and everyone already there craning their necks to see who was walking down the path. What up with that?

Flipit, that was fucking brilliant. Maybe your best ever.
-JR

Flipit,

My mom grew up Catholic and was told that if her friends weren't Catholic, they weren't going to Heaven. Can you imagine a little girl thinking that?

Then when I was going to Sunday school a nun made a big deal about my father being "Not Catholic????!!!"

I totally know where you are coming from.

Hypocrites in religion are everywhere....AND ridiculous (and I consider myself a Christian)

People who get on their high horses to belittle those who don't conform to THEIR beliefs need to get a life.

MY God, isn't that uptight.

GREAT recap!!!! Not only one of the best, but also so fast.

Keep up the good/SNARKY work. :)

I certainly do not mean to offend or sound arrogant, I apologize if I did. Flipit your father was right, christians are not perfect people. Christian simply means you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour. It in no way means you automatically become perfect. I do not intend to proselytize but you make a lot of comments that can be construed as being anti-christian and I dont see any one standing up for that, so I did and I stand by it and God Bless You.

I think Eric figured out that America is tired of Amber. If he used the power of veto even on Zach, and put up D or D, and then his America's vote was to get Amber out, he'd have to go around the house campaigning for them to keep the D. It wouldn't make sense for him to use it at all! He would look dumb for using the veto and then trying to get people to keep the newly nominated person. He's not as dumb as we give him credit for!

I LOVED your "riddles!" Awesome! I guess everyone forgot that 1) Eric is America's player and they voted to get Amber out and 2) Eric only had power of veto. He had NO say in who would be put up.

"Also, does anyone know why we haven't seen the HGs in the sequester house yet? Every season, they showed their arrival and everyone already there craning their necks to see who was walking down the path. What up with that?"

Well, the reason for this would be...math. It is a bitter enemy, no doubt. No one has showed up for them to tape yet, if you think about it. They only show the sequester house on Thursdays, and until last Thursday, only Dustin was there and they would have had to show him by himself, but Dick's burning ass took up all the screentime. I'm sure tomorrow we'll see Jen arrive tomorrow (with tape detailing her eviction week in hand) and Dustin will act all surprised.

OK, the Charla I refer to was a totally useless piece of fluff from the Fox show "Paradise Hotel", a show with people so despicable it was hard to stomach. Charla was an even bigger mess than Amber, always whining and crying in her room. This nice Jewish boy (ugly as sin, though) from new York fell in love with her and literally carried her all the way to the finals, even giving up his chance to win so she could. As I recall, there were two other winners, a well-liked couple. The winner in that couple shared the prize money 50-50 with the partner. Charla opted to keep all the money and not share with the poor nebbish. Thus, she earned the "Most Selfish Bitch" award in reality TV history.

That show also featured the universally hated big mouth Toni Ferrari who became some sort of reality-show queen, making the circuit in various shows. Damn, I miss the good old days of truly awful reality doings!

Tony A - Thanks for the clarification. I did not watch Paradise Hotel so I was clueless.

Hi Schoonie! Are you excited for Survivor yet?

To mspeaay,
When you have people on a show using God as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want and claim it's because "I had a vision from God" or Jameka who keeps thanking God for being her lover and apparently wanting to taste him or have him taste her, that's not naking fun of Christianity. That's making fun of 2 people who obviously have issues with reality. I'm not an expert on the bible, but I am a Christian and I am not the least bit offened by anything flipit has said about these 2 hypocrit nut jobs. These 2 are easy targets because, well they are retarded and they give us all lots of usable material. If these things are offensive to you maybe you should A. Lighten the crap up or B. Go to Billy Graham's website.
Oh wait I'm getting a call.
Ok, I'm back. That was God, he said unclench the butt cheeks because he loves Flipit and thinks he's funnier than the time Jesus blew out a flip-flop and went ass over tea kettle into a pile of angel poo.
Now go forth and prosper....

CheriesTake,

That was almost as funny as Flipit's post. Well said! (and thanks for the visual of Jesus tripping over his flip flops! hahaahah)

CheriesTake,

That was almost as funny as Flipit's post.
Well said! (and thanks for the visual of Jesus tripping over his flip flops! hahaahah)

CheriesTake,
Yeah, that was hilar. I'm sure HE appreciated that.

mspeaay,
I would like to offer you an apology. You see HE just called back and he let me know that I told the story all wrong. It wasn't a flip-flop,silly me, it was a pair of strappy high heels and he didn't fall into angel poo,that was another story, I got confused, he fell on what was supposed to be your sense of humor. Crushed it to bits. So I forgive you for not loving me, after all, It's What Jesus Would Do!