Previously on Big Brother, the showmance known as Jamelsia started to dissolve when people realized that it was a really stupid name.
Chelsames?
This week James and Chelsia are on the block and it may very well be driving them completely insane. Both nominees strut around the kitchen mocking themselves and their fellow houseguests using the Adam Sandler "shoobedahdoo" voice, in turn annoying everyone else so that they retire to the HOH room to get away from them. When James and Chelsia finally come down off their nomination high, or more likely, coke-high, they move to their secret love-pantry for awkward hugging making sure that their groins don't touch. Chelsia is very sad that she could leave the house this week, and more terrified that she will be stuck alone in a house with Matt.
Sheila is in the HOH room bitching about something irrelevant (thanks Schoonie!) and commenting on how Chelsia declined her offer for a hug. Natalie commends Moose on his smart thinking and for changing his mind about nominating Nader since that would be throwing his vote.
A little later James tries to convince Chelsia to throw the Veto game since he's already been evicted once. Just like their sexual games, they should alternate getting screwed. Chelsia thinks for a moment and then says that she wants to stay in the house but thanks for the offer. This whirlwind romance may be coming to a tumultuous, tattooed, annoying end.
Tempting, stud, but NO.
As you recall Ryan screwed the pooch last week and lost his dream vacation to a strip bar in Vegas. Moose calls everyone to the living room to inform the winners of the luxury movie competition that one of them will be receiving the trip in his stead. The prize ticket is in one of the boxes of stale popcorn before them so they grab frantically and dig in. Chelsia doesn't screw around so she just dumps hers out on the table revealing the ticket, in dramatic slow motion. So now it will be Chelsia who slips a 20 in a stripper's G-string right below her C-section scar. Now Chelsia will be the one who eats too much all-you-can-eat shrimp and has to be rushed to the emergency room for iodine poisoning. Chelsia will be the one sucking out her gold fillings before the casino bank can rip them out with a pair of pliers to recoup her debt. Congratulations Chelsia. What happens in Vegas can still be transmitted between flare-ups. All of these things are taped in Natalie's wishbook so she pouts and drowns her sorrows in floor popcorn while Sheila, Josh, Sharon and Chelsia go to the HOH room for their movie.
Sheila is thrilled that she is getting to go to the movie since all she does outside of the house is go to the movies with her son. A sad, sad life she has. We get an extended preview of the soon-to-be-hit movie 21 starring some kid and the guy that played the coked out day trader in Working Girl and try as they may it still looks just awful. After the movie the four houseguests rave about it, but after not seeing any movie for months even I Am Legend would be good.
It'stimetopickplayersforthevetocompetition!! However this time players are being picked at night as opposed to the morning as usual. This makes everyone suspicious that something big, evil and annoying is coming their way and they may just be right. Sharon and Josh are the players picked randomly from the bag, the bag being Sheila. Ryan is pissed that the players turned out exactly the way James and Chelsia would have wanted and everything seems to be going their way. He can't figure out why the horrible things that should be happening to awful people keep happening to him.
Downstairs James is doing a hodown to celebrate his adept skill in name drawing and his possible chances to stay. After everyone falls asleep we hear hardcore generic rock music indicating it's now time for Evel Dick to enter.
I suddenly realize that I have to poop.
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Comments (12)
A comment. Breathe, Fozzie, breathe!. I cab tell you're as bored with this bunch as I am.
1 of 12 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 26, 2008 5:18 AM
I meant caN, dammit!
2 of 12 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 26, 2008 5:20 AM
This group lost my interest weeks ago. I only read the entertaining recaps and watch the live show.
I didn't think there could be another group I would dislike more than the "nerd herd" - good work Allison G!
I think Josh sat home with a notebook last season taking notes during all of Evel Dick's rants. Not working - even with the CBS editing.
Here's hoping this summer's train wreck BB10 will be watchable.
3 of 12 | Posted by bbunkie | Posted on March 26, 2008 7:09 AM
i couldn't beleive how excited i was to see dick(hehe) but honestly, anyone new in this house is a welcome change. (although confession: I like ryan. i'm choosing to believe the racist thing was a lie)
when natalie was whispering to sharon about how her prediction abotu dick was right, i kept thinking about the suggestion that BB should make all of her predictions come true. that would be the most entertaining thing that happened all season.
even though this group isn't the best we've seen (by far) even a bad season of BB is a good one for me.
4 of 12 | Posted by beccs98 | Posted on March 26, 2008 7:15 AM
i couldn't beleive how excited i was to see dick(hehe) but honestly, anyone new in this house is a welcome change. (although confession: I like ryan. i'm choosing to believe the racist thing was a lie)
when natalie was whispering to sharon about how her prediction abotu dick was right, i kept thinking about the suggestion that BB should make all of her predictions come true. that would be the most entertaining thing that happened all season.
even though this group isn't the best we've seen (by far) even a bad season of BB is a good one for me.
5 of 12 | Posted by beccs98 | Posted on March 26, 2008 7:16 AM
I must agree that the large personalities left early this season. I mean, seriously, the producers have resorted to interviewing guinea pigs in the DR!
But, I agree, there is something about Ryan that makes you want to root for him.
And Sharon made a collosally stupid move by volunteering herself up (remember Dustin, dummy!). In the end, this game is not a team sport.
6 of 12 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 26, 2008 7:22 AM
I was really excitd about this season when it started, but the got rid of all the interesting people, all that's left is this ridiculously awful group.
i still can;t get on the bandwagon to support Ryan, the racist. I've watched BB After Dark and anytime Parker's name is brought up it's all circles around Ryan.
I hate to say it, but I'm rooting for Adam in this group, he's act stupid but he's probably is the only one worth rooting for in this group which isn't saying much.
7 of 12 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 26, 2008 7:54 AM
Good recap. LOL Sheila as the bag for the veto comp draw!
After 6 weeks people are at least TRYING to strategize and play the game, including the new naughty Nattie who no longer has Matt to obsess over. It makes things a little more interesting. However, it's still a pretty unlikeable group, although I kind of like Adam, Ryan and Sharon. Josh is a total a-hole but he is playing well.
8 of 12 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on March 26, 2008 9:41 AM
James is driving me nuts. I sorta liked him in the early episodes, but now I cannot stand him.
And WTF was he so excited about after drawing the veto players? If either Sharon or Josh had won the veto, I seriously doubt either of them would have used it because if they did, the other one would have been the replacement nominee. So as far as I could tell, it really didn't matter WHO the veto players were this week.
9 of 12 | Posted by aholic | Posted on March 26, 2008 10:20 AM
For just a few minutes when Josh was in the diary room explaining how he got Sharon to "put herself up" I understood why so many of you dislike him.
Thankfully, that feeling passed. Though he did kind of look like a serial killer when he was laying on the bed and Sharon was petting his hair.
Love my boy Josh.
10 of 12 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 26, 2008 12:59 PM
This is the saddest excuse for a Big Brother season ever. Why don't they just skip the next 6 evictions and go right to the Joshuah's inevitable win?
11 of 12 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on March 26, 2008 5:13 PM
Hey Fozzie! Next week, just do all screen caps of Ryan, K?
thanks!
12 of 12 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 27, 2008 1:27 PM