It'stimetopickplayersforthevetocompetition! O wait, no it's not. It'stimetoshowthehouseguestswhowonAmerica'schoiceforwhogetsaphonecallfromhome!! O wait, no it's not. It's only time to show them that sometime in the near future they will find out who won. Everyone reflects on this opportunity but none is as reflective as Michelle who runs to the bedroom and flings herself across the mattress, weeping copiously. Most likely at the prospect of having to hear her dad talk about his goiter for the nine hundredth time. Luckily Mamma Bear Renny comes to comfort Michelle in her time of need, although Renny isn't quite sure what exactly is wrong. Renny offers up a platter of platitudes; "It'll all work out in the end. It's always darkest before the dawn. A stitch in time saves nine. Everybody goes through and awkward stage. They're just jealous, honey."
Or smile. It's even worse when you smile.
In the diary room Michelle continues her weepfest and implores America to choose her. I'm sure all of America is just dying to hear that conversation. "Wassup?" "Nuttin. Whatchu up to?" "Nuttin. You frickin' rock so hahd!" "Shut up!" "Yer retahded." "You aw." Papa Bear Jerry also stops by the bedroom for a little cold, clammy comfort of Michelle telling her that he understands how she feels since he would like to hear from his wife who probably won't live much longer and is suffering alone from Parkinsons, but no, Michelle, you should totally get the call. That's fair.
Jerry also reflects about how much he misses his wife and hopes that he gets to hear from her. I have to give Jerry props, mad props yo, for being so dutifully devoted to his wife. He may be a jack wad but he is a devoted husband to stay with her for 54 years. I could never do that with anyone. This season has only been on a couple months and I'm already sick of seeing these people's stinkin', stupid faces three times a week.
Some more than others.
The next day, while all the houseguests are busy gussying themselves up the long forgotten sound of a telephone ringing fills the house. Startled, everyone rushes to the living room to see one of those large-numbered telephones for the vision impaired next to the sofa. Everyone OO's and Ah's about the fact that there is a telephone there as it continues to ring. And ring. And ring. Michelle continually asks if they're supposed to answer it until she finally does, hoping to hear the sound of her sweet mother's voice saying, "Missy, ya look like a hooah!" but is saddened when the voice on the other end asks to speak to Jerry.
The first person to speak is Jerry's great grandson and we are treated to the most awkward telephone conversation since Mr. Brady accidentally called Alice's boyfriend Al when he dialed 1-800-MEAT-MAN. The kid obviously has nothing to say to Jerry, and the feeling is more than mutual. The boy quickly hands the phone over to Jerry's wife at which point Jerry breaks down in tears, as do I. Your Uncle Fozzie may have a cold, black heart that died when Buffy went off the air, but there's a little piece of me that still loves thinking about old people gettin' it on. Jerry and his wife share a sweet conversation where Jerry asks his wife if she thinks everybody has been behaving in the house, to which she answers, "well......" Well put darlin'. Well put.
"You wanna put your what where? Grandpa pa, you know this is Timmy, right? Yea, let me put Nanna on."
Keesha, Dan and Memphis all congregate in the HOH room to crunch the numbers to decide who should go home this week. It finally comes down to the fact that Michelle needs to go home to ensure all of their safety and sanity. Memphis realizes that should that happen Michelle would flip out and become loud, abrasive and shrill, so there's really no harm done.
It'stimetopick,........wait, is it? Yes! It'stimetopickplayersforthevetocompetition! Dan is sweating his smooth, peanut-like balls off hoping that Michelle's name doesn't come out of the Veto bag because should she win it, he cannot back door her. Dan chooses first and gets the Dahlin' from Nawlins, Renny. Memphis chooses next and gets the Skank from Burbank, Keesha. Lastly but not leastly, Jerry chooses and gets the player's choice button. Jerry wisely chooses the Old Cylon from Rhode Island, Michelle.
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Comments (24)
Fozzie, I read somewhere who uses the live feeds that Ollie had a meltdown after the veto meeting. It was bad. He was breaking stuff and cussing up a storm, just like you'd expect from a "preacher's son". I'm sure CBS won't air it, or edit it to make it seem more like a hissy fit. It was a stupid deal that Dan made with him, but if Dan was smart he would have put Ollie up instead of Michelle and got rid of him.
1 of 24 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on August 27, 2008 5:33 AM
I'm so upset that they didn't show any of the aftermath of Dan's decision to put Michelle up on the block. WOW, I really thought they'd show more of it! I hope they do on Thursday, but I doubt there is any time with the double eviction.
CONTENT REMOVED (NO SPOILERS)
2 of 24 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 27, 2008 5:35 AM
CONTENT REMOVED (Sorry guys, we have to to protect the readers)
3 of 24 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on August 27, 2008 5:40 AM
I am a little confused by Dan's remarks about the "bet." To me a deal and a bet are two different things. Was he just trying to make Ollie look like he had made a later bet, using Michelle as a pawn??
Dan's roulette game was brilliant strategy. He totally came out of that unscathed.
4 of 24 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on August 27, 2008 6:10 AM
"You wanna put your what where? Grandpa pa, you know this is Timmy, right? Yea, let me put Nanna on."
Seriously, between that and the Jews having magical powers comment, I've been laughing for the past 5 minutes.
5 of 24 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 27, 2008 6:47 AM
trink, I think he was using it to go with the whole "gambling" idea. As in, Ollie gambled Michelle's safety by dropping and letting Dan win HOH. He pretty much revealed who his strongest ally is in the house when Dan told him he can save one other person... Hence, he "bet" and lost. But yah, I know what you mean... lol
EDITED
6 of 24 | Posted by serjen | Posted on August 27, 2008 7:07 AM
Who said your recaps were TOO GAY?! How can anything be TOO GAY?! Tell me who said it and I'll go over to their house and kick some straightee butt. (Or do something to their butt.)
Uh, I would want Kaysar on the top of that ticket but Dan could be the VP pick.
Didn't see the episode because I was working but THANKS FOR THE RECAP and to SERJEN for the "inside scoop."
Maybe Ollie is behaving badly because he's sufferin' from "lovin' withdrawal?"
7 of 24 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on August 27, 2008 7:54 AM
OK, color me confuse-ed.
Someone explain to me why Dan did this. He has now seriously pissed off 3 people: Awwwh-Lee,(therefore)April, and Michelle. I don't watch the feeds so maybe the answer lies in what was not shown? Did he not try to convince Keisha (Yeah, Renny would of been a hell-no)that she would only have been there as a pawn and Jerry coulda been sent home- no probs??
Thank you Dan for all of the drama, this should be very entertaining to watch(thanks those of you who do get the feeds for sharing what happens when a Preacher's Son goes apesh*t)but Dan has played a very safe game so far, why stir things up so much now?
PS- flipit, your recaps are AWESOME, don't change a thing!
8 of 24 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on August 27, 2008 7:55 AM
speaking of kaysar, doesn't anyone who goes on big brother watch the previous seasons? if anyone watched season 6 (when kaysar got voted BACK IN the house and promptly got booted off because jen cried about wanting to get h.o.h. to see her family and then backdoored him after he took his finger off that button in the endurance challenge) and doesn't expect to get screwed when they make a deal this late in the game is a moron.
i swear, if i have to listen to michelle one more time, i'm going to scream. i LOVED when she said before p.o.v. "it's a puzzle. that's what i do at home ALL THE TIME!" shocker.
9 of 24 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:48 AM
Real World/Road Rules Challenge starts September 10th!!!!! But not with Evan or C.T. :(
10 of 24 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:56 AM
Fozzie, I think I love you. I don't even watch this show (I know, I totally would, but I'm just wayyy too busy) but between you and Flipit and Schoonie I've been able to keep up and kinda understand the whole convoluted process, and I love y'alls work.
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. In a world dominated by heterosexuality it is my opinion that nothing can really ever be "too gay"... LOL
P.P.S. Do you guys remember that Ollie and Jerry had a hit in the 80's with "Breakin' (There's No Stoppin' Us)" from the movie "Breakin'"? HA!
11 of 24 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 27, 2008 9:11 AM
I think Dan and Renny would make an awesome final 2.
The worst part about BB is that in the end you have retards and flunkies deciding the outcome of the game. Hopefully Ollie, Michelle and Jerry can respect the superior gamesmanship of someone like Dan and not vote based upon emotion. I still get pissed when I think back to cunty Chelseeuh grilling Ryan because he said he would use part of the prize money on his g/f.
If you don't want to get back doored (or back dooowad if you're Michelle), then win a f'ing challenge or contest once in a while. If you are shocked that someone doesn't keep their word at this stage of the game, then you're an idiot.
12 of 24 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 27, 2008 9:40 AM
Seriously, between that and the Jews having magical powers comment, I've been laughing for the past 5 minutes.
Shape shifting isn't a "magical power"...its just what we do. Dan wasn't planted by BB - he was planted by the Moussad.
- Shlomo
13 of 24 | Posted by oywhatnext | Posted on August 27, 2008 10:51 AM
Arg! How can anyone say you're too gay, Fozzie, I say you're deliciously scathing and I love it!!!!! You have such a disdain for all involved, it's simply bliss!!!
Rerun is a tool, f'in idiot, but I do think Dan should have backdoored him instead, lord knows, unless April brought toys with her, he hasn't had any backdoor action--could be just what he needs to chill out!!! I'm just sayin'
Would love to see Renny and Dan final 2!!!
Perhaps the double elimination will take care of him, but I can't believe Jerry keeps slipping by . . .
14 of 24 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 27, 2008 11:49 AM
The official TVGasm policy on Big Brother spoilers in the comments is that if it hasn't happened in show time (for instance, talking about anything that happened on the feeds after the veto ceremony right now) is strictly prohibited. You're also welcome to talk about stuff that happened on the feeds BEFORE the veto ceremony that may have been edited out. I'm sure they're going to show some of the meltdown first thing on Thursday, because that's how they always do it, so it ruins that segment too. Even if they don't because of the double elim, we still have to do it. Sorry, but we don't want to spoil our readers if they don't want to be.
We don't have many rules here, but this is one of them, unfortunately. The comments for BB recaps are to talk about the show itself and the recaps. The forums are for talking about the feeds. In the future, please refrain from talking about anything before it's aired on the actual show. If you want to talk about the live feeds, take it to the forums.
In the future, all violators will be stabbed by Fozzie in the heartwith a rainbow-hilted knife while he quotes La Cage Aux Folles and you bleed to death slowly from your very gayest internal organs. Like the appendix. What, exactly, does it do?
15 of 24 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 27, 2008 12:04 PM
The appendix does nothing. It just hangs around and looks fabulous, like all gays.
16 of 24 | Posted by fozziebare13 | Posted on August 27, 2008 2:16 PM
It's like an accessory for your digestive system!
17 of 24 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 27, 2008 2:51 PM
That's what I also call my belly button ring.
18 of 24 | Posted by fozziebare13 | Posted on August 27, 2008 3:13 PM
OMG!!! Dan is my favorite BB player of all time. He is friggin hilarious. And Renny is a close 2nd. This is one of the best BB seasons ever. I am serious. Its much more entertaining when they have a wide variety of people in the house. Last season sucked because they were almost all 22 year old, waitresses/models/ex models/wannabe models or rock stars/bartenders, not that there is anything wrong with that, but still, a little variety in age, lifestyle, intelligence, etc makes for a much more intereseting show. Dan is my BB hero.
19 of 24 | Posted by tracyintpa | Posted on August 27, 2008 3:26 PM
Spoiler alert!
Jerry and Renny have developed a showmance.
20 of 24 | Posted by foxbaseealpha | Posted on August 27, 2008 3:44 PM
friggin jerry. making me all teary when he got on the phone with his wife, AND then when he said twice that he wished the rest of the house could get a call, too. Aw.
I felt like Dan had more heat on him than he thinks he did. He should have let keesha go up to appease ollie and michelle, then voted out jerry. He, um, blew his wad too quickly at the veto, all his words ran together and I'm like, er, huh? Shoulda made it like, well, we have a tie, so I'll break it. Michelle, you're up. And why didn't he put Ollie up??
Okay, now to read the recap. Totally had to get out what I watned to say first.
Oh, and I do not think there is anything, ever, that could be classified as "too gay."
21 of 24 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on August 27, 2008 7:14 PM
After reading all this gay stuff, I tried to wash the homo off of me in the shower. I ended up having the best orgasm of my life. I'm sooo confused.
One thing Im not confused about...I'm changing my screen name to Amadore Spartacus.
Hellooooooooo Frisco!!!
22 of 24 | Posted by oywhatnext | Posted on August 27, 2008 8:25 PM
Yes Fozzie, I really hate Memphis's down home, Duke-boy, Clemson-lovin', Waffle-House-eating, hillbilly accent.
I don't understand the Dan love. He's a poorly educated, misguided, misogynistic, self-important, loud and annoying turd.
23 of 24 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on August 28, 2008 8:19 AM
Definitely one of the best BB eps I've ever seen.
Anyone catch Michelle's comment (in between the blurred mouth bleeps) that he's a plant? I'd almost believe it -- not even Dr. Will was this crafty. I totally believe Dan's a football coach now, I bet he even worked out a playbook.
Although they could have had Keesha win the veto comp, then she would have taken Memphis off. But this was is definitely more fun.
I'm a little worried that Dan's plan is going to backfire and the others will figure out that he's a puppetmaster. I'll miss him yelling at me.
24 of 24 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 28, 2008 8:38 AM