At the Last Chance Workout, Don starts taunting Jillian, who tries to get all ghetto on him. Unfortunately for her, she sounds so ridiculous even Zenmaster Bob makes fun of her. However, Don's playful banter seems to upset Otto's chauvinistic sensibilities. So, in order to defend Jillian's honor, he challenges Don to a race. No need, Otto. The Terminatrix is perfectly capable of defending herself. With one single low-level gamma burst she could kill everyone in the gym. Or, at the very least, sterilize them. Don and Otto continue to snipe at each other, thoroughly embarrassing their wives in the process. They decide to go outside and race, fatmano e fatmano. Of course, Otto's confident he'll win. And of course, he doesn't. Finally, the Samuels win something.
Time for the Almost Final Weigh In. Over the past 11 days, the Muhas lost 58 pounds, or 8.01% of their total weight. That means the Samuels have to lose more than 49 pounds to win the spa trip. On his way to the scale, Don says his palms are sweaty. Also, his knees are weak and his arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti. Sorry, I just lost myself in the recap. Okay, snap back to reality… Don loses 23 pounds, which is so overwhelming to him he says he can't even speak. Three times. Which kind of diminishes the whole "I can't even speak" vibe. The Samuels end up losing 55 pounds, or 8.91%, to pick up the victory. Told you Otto should've shaved down.
The game isn't over yet, though. Because now the teams have to go home and work out on their own. In a few months, they'll return for a final weigh in.
When the families arrived back home, they were surprised to see their living room furniture had secretly been replaced with Folgers crystals. And a bunch of new exercise equipment. They also got new appliances and a kitchen full of healthy food and snacks. So now, as a new DVD of Jillian tells the Muhas, they have no excuse not to keep up with the program. Otto says they're not afraid of Jillian; they're just afraid of letting her down. Otto is a liar.
The next hour is all about the family's struggles sticking to their fitness regimens. Here are a few of the lowlights:
Ravee complains about being around her friends when they're eating big old hamburgers and fried chicken, because she can't eat either of those. Nobody said she can't eat a big old fried hamburger, however.
Otto says between being a husband and a father, it's hard for him to find time to work out. Hey, that's the same thing I told my wife last week. If you substitute "father" with "drunk".
Melony goes to the doc to check on her cancer. He says she has a choice: she can either live or die. Where's Dr. Jeff when you need him?
Don says he wishes he could race Otto again right now. "You think I smoked him the first time? Oh my god, he'll be smoked…. like smoked ham, baby." He'll also be crushed. Like something easily crushable. A spinach can, perhaps?
"I yam what I yam.
Even a surprise visit from the trainers can't salvage this hour. Bob is being totally unZen tonight, and the site of Jillian in a bathing suit totally killed my buzz.
Bob and Jillian leave each family with a copy of their audition tapes to remind them of just how bad they used to look. Everyone was mortified by the footage. Especially Erica, who refuses to even watch. If only I had that luxury.
Time for one last montage before the final weigh in. Otto tells us he's wearing clothes that he hasn't worn in "six or seven years." My question is, who keeps clothes that long? Especially clothes that don't fit? Besides EdHill and the Weaver girls, of course.
At the final weigh in, friends and family of both teams are there to cheer them on. Caroline, Bob and Jillian are back too. What is with Caroline and final weigh ins? She looks like a goth Muppet. I hereby dub her Mistress Piggoth of the Eternal Lash.
Welcome to my nightmare.
Comments (11)
this Special Edition will be inspiring me...to change the channel.
what other good shows are on in this timeslot? anyone?
1 of 11 | Posted by sweetblondie
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Posted on January 6, 2006 1:28 PM
My resolution was to quit smoking, so if we can learn anything from Vince Vaughn, apparently my real resolution was to gain weight. But now when I get winded it will be because I'm fat, not because I'm a smoker. SO much healthier!
2 of 11 | Posted by scorpiella
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Posted on January 6, 2006 2:38 PM
Oh, and I forgot.
"fatmano e fatmano" Hysterical!
3 of 11 | Posted by scorpiella
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Posted on January 6, 2006 2:50 PM
The comment about keeping clothes for that long...my oldest sister is 37 & she still has clothes from high school. She needs an intervention.
What I want to know is what the hell was that gold thing around Caroline's neck at the end? Were the producers sick of her cleavage so they took an ornament off the Christmas tree & threw it around her neck?? Does she actually look in the mirror before she goes on stage?
4 of 11 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on January 6, 2006 2:51 PM
I agree with Scorpiella . . . "fatmano e fatmano" - Gold !
5 of 11 | Posted by Pierce
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Posted on January 6, 2006 3:04 PM
"Time for one last montage before the final weigh in. Otto tells us he's wearing clothes that he hasn't worn in "six or seven years." My question is, who keeps clothes that long? Especially clothes that don't fit? Besides EdHill and the Weaver girls, of course."
OH MY GOSH, freakin hilarious! I didn't even consider watching this, but the recaps will be more than enough to entertain me. FYI, the new That 70's Show is on at the same time on Wednesday, and its so funny!
6 of 11 | Posted by Ash
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Posted on January 6, 2006 4:00 PM
I'm a little upset there was no screencap of the Muha mom's face when they showed her final weight.
I enjoyed the ice cream trucks following them with Caroline saying "just so you don't feel alone" instead of "we're required by law to have paramedics on stand-by". Though I was waiting for them to start playing that annoying music over and over and over.
And because I know you people will enjoy this, Broadway.com recently asked actors what their resolutions for 2006 were, and this was the answer from a woman currently in Odd Couple with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick:
Resolution: "I resolve not to take The Amazing Race so personally. So many sleepless nights... agonizing over that hideous Weaver family."
7 of 11 | Posted by KateMcV
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Posted on January 6, 2006 9:03 PM
thanks all.
as for the bling on caroline's neck, your guess is as good as mine. brass-plated garlic, perhaps? unfortunately, i couldn't get a good closeup of it.
i thought i put that screengrab of mommamuha on there earlier. oh well, it's there for you now, katemcv.
finally, i didn't even think about the ice cream truck drivers actually being paramedics. what am i, on dope?
8 of 11 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on January 6, 2006 9:58 PM
Yay! Thank you!!
9 of 11 | Posted by KateMcV
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Posted on January 7, 2006 6:51 AM
Copygodd I am SOOO Impressed that you put up a pic for Kate. So often people suggest images from shows that were really funny (or disturbing) the idea that they can be added to the recap after the original posting is ... PURE GENIOUS and pretty darned thoughtful!
Thanks for the great recap!
10 of 11 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on January 7, 2006 9:02 AM
The funny part, to me, about her facial expression is that she "chose" to make that face. I mean, come one, she couldn't have been surprised about her weight loss.
Thanks for posting the pic!
11 of 11 | Posted by livemusicjunkie
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Posted on January 9, 2006 10:58 AM