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Losers Never Quit. - TVgasm

by copygodd

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For some reason, I'm having a hard time coming up with a clever intro for this week's recap. Maybe it's the fact that I'm totally hungover. Or maybe it's that, for some strange reason, my Tivo decided to record the first few minutes of According To Jim before switching over to The Biggest Loser midway through the opening credits. According to me, my Tivo sucks. Whatever. Soy un perdedor, baby, so why don't you kill me... Or at least read the rest of the recap.

Bob meets with the Blue Team to cheer them up after another loss. Andrea feels a lot of pressure, and, in classic Zen fashion, Bob tells her to find strength in the pressure. He also tells her to pull his finger. Bob's funny that way.

Meanwhile, over at Team Stalin (you know, cuz they're Red), Seth tells us that ever since Mark lost 17 pounds last week, he's been a cardio animal. Mark's been working out an extra five hours a day. A day! I'm lucky to work out five extra hours a year. Hell, who am I kidding. I'm lucky to work out five hours a year, period. Jillian wishes Mark would lighten up a bit, telling us she's worried that if Mark keeps working out this much, he won't eat enough, which will slow down his metabolism and send his body into "Survival or Starvation" mode. I'm pulling for Survival mode, as we haven't seen nearly enough puking this season.

Time for this week's Temptation Challenge. If the contestants eat a piece of chocolate cake, they have a one-in-three shot at winning $2,300. cake101805.jpg Suzi describes the cake: "It wasn't a normal piece of cake. It was like four slices of cake in one. It was huge." This is especially impressive coming from a girl who drank 48 milkshake shots a few weeks back. Dr. Jeff is thinking about eating the cake. "I looked at the Blue Team, and it didn't look like any of them were going to bite. No pun intended." None taken, my dear doctor. None taken. However, since nobody on either team was biting (pun definitely intended), the producers slipped a note under the door. Pete tells the group it's another limerick, which, of course, it isn't. (I know this because there was no mention of a "man from Nantucket.") The producers make the challenge even easier, telling the contestants they now have a one-in-two shot at winning the prize. All they have to do is eat the damn cake! Mark fingers the icing, but that's as close as we get to any guy-on-cake action. Too bad too, as it turns out the prize also included a stationary bike hooked up to a video screen for a virtual exercise experience. No fair! I just ate a piece of chocolate cake and all I got was gas.


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