Tonight's episode starts off with the announcer telling us "So far the teams have lost a total of 483 pounds. But The Biggest Loser isn't just about losing weight. It's about changing lives." Lives like those of Andrea from Season One, who's lost a total of 67 pounds since last year, and who'll be making a very special appearance later tonight. That's great, but what happened to inspiring a nation? So far, tonight's episode is leaving me totally unchanged and uninspired.
Hopefully, inspiration awaits after the jump...
The Blue Team's in turmoil without Ryan, who was voted off last week. Well, half the team is. Because as Suzanne tells us, "Ryan was the glue between Suzy and Andrea. They needed her. For me, that was just a strategy. I take her out of the equation and now these two girls are like, 'uh oh, what do I do?'" Standing in the hallway, Suzanne tells Andrea and Suzy she feels really bad for what's happened. Suzy calls her out though, saying, "Okay, I know you're lying now." Now? You mean Suzanne's lied before? Say it isn't so! Andrea tells us Suzanne is doing everything she can to manipulate the situation. "Everything that comes out of that girl's mouth seems to be a lie," she says. Including telling everyone she's really a blond.
The teams head down to the gazebo for this week's Temptation Challenge. Hey, where's Caroline? I needs me some twin lovin'! Instead, Bob and Jillian are waiting for the teams in the gazebo. I like B&J, but putting them in charge of the temptation is like having George tell the wannabe apprentices that losing weight is a $500 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY. It just doesn't have that same je ne sais quoi. Bob revealed a silver platter that held a double cheeseburger, french fries, onion rings and a chocolate milkshake. The sight of the shake reminds Suzy of this one time, at fat camp, when she drank 48 milkshakes...
Unfortunately, today's temptation isn't so much a temptation as it is a pop quiz. The teams simply have to figure out how many calories are on the tray. See what happens when Caroline's not around? Each team has five minutes to produce an answer. Here's the catch: The losing team has to do one stair on the Stairmaster for however many calories they guess higher or lower than the actual number. Shannon is not happy. Shannon hates the Stairmaster. Why the hate, Shan? Stairmasters have feelings too, you know. The winners, meanwhile, get to visit Universal Studios for a day. I don't know about you, but when I think diet and exercise, I immediately think Universal Studios.
The teams are a little flummoxed, as they've only been taught to count calories in healthy food so far. Suzanne thinks it's somewhere between 4,000 and 5,000 calories, which her teammates think is a bit high. 5,000 calories? What does she think the cheeseburger's made of, lard? After a bit of bickering, the women end up listening to Suzanne and guessing 4,249 calories. The men average their guesses together and get 2,950. The correct answer? 2,834 calories. Which means the women have to climb 1,415 stairs. To make matters worse, it turns out Shannon had guessed 2800 calories. So if the women had listened to her and not Suzanne, they'd have won. But who's counting? Oh, that's right, they are...
Shannon tells us it's really pissing her off that the guys keep winning and winning and winning. You'd think they were a bunch of weight-losing Energizer Bunnies or something. At this point, things are definitely looking blue for "Bob's Booty Crew" (as the remaining members have dubbed themselves) as they begin the long climb to the top of the Stairmaster.
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Comments (10)
Tell me you did NOT just say "buckets of placenta?" That's disgusting!!
I've got to find a way to use "Now tell me how you would mount fuji!" in my everyday interactions. Like this gem, "Hey, boss! I got those reports out a whole day before they were due. Now tell me how you would mount fuji!"
Yeah...I'm pretty sure that'll work.
1 of 10 | Posted by RealityTV4Me | Posted on October 12, 2005 1:09 PM
You put the caption "the pack circles its prey", but you forgot to include the photo to go with it.
You forgot to mention how HOT Suzanne looked in that bikini in the where are they now footage.SEXAY!
2 of 10 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on October 12, 2005 1:26 PM
>This one features Karen from Will & Grace again, telling us it's who you are inside that counts. Pretty ironic considering this is a show about losing weight.
Obviously, it's who you are inside all the fat that counts.
3 of 10 | Posted by sweetfortune | Posted on October 12, 2005 8:28 PM
The reviews get better every time! Thank you again, I still have yet to watch the show but I love to read what you have to say about it.
You've got style, I really enjoy this stuff.
4 of 10 | Posted by WebKittyn | Posted on October 12, 2005 9:23 PM
Blue Bob is HOT
5 of 10 | Posted by EROSion | Posted on October 12, 2005 10:38 PM
RealityTV4Me - not only did he say "buckets of placenta", he said "buckets of MOLDY placenta". Now what?
6 of 10 | Posted by realiTV fan | Posted on October 13, 2005 8:02 AM
great recap!
I have to say i really hate having "immunity" for the person that lost the most weight. I think everyone should be fair game unless they win an immunity challenge. I mean, how is that fair to the...um..."thinner" people?
7 of 10 | Posted by shelley | Posted on October 13, 2005 10:35 AM
Okay, you won me back with the whole "buckets of moldy placenta." That's some inspired writing, that is. Tell me this C-Godd, do we think that Mistress Red Team actually has a boyfriend? Or is it a girlfriend? And, is "it" allowed out of the box in her dungeon during daylight hours?
She scares me everyday.
8 of 10 | Posted by Corky | Posted on October 13, 2005 1:54 PM
kinda agree, shelley. While I think it's unfair for the skinny people, I love the idea of immunity. I do, however, think it should be that the person who loses the highest percentage of their weight wins immunity.
9 of 10 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on October 13, 2005 4:38 PM
I will miss the drama that is Suzanne... but there's always her fansite www.SuzanneMendonca.com
10 of 10 | Posted by biggestlosertoo | Posted on October 13, 2005 7:41 PM