Jerry's back! I'm surprised he didn't pass out again when he found out Jillian was his trainer. With everyone back in the game, the contestants head out for their first challenge. I seriously wish I were a producer for this show - they are paid to think of these truly mentally challenged challenges. So here we are, on one side of a bridge in downtown LA. What's in the middle, preventing the contestants to just run (or waddle) straight across? Yes, a giant mound of sand. Yes, like at the beach...except on a bridge. Alison explains that this bridge represents their future in the game - where the end is their new life, but in order to get there, they must overcome obstacles (read: sand...?). And they're off! Since everyone's running at roughly 1 mph I'll speed things up. The black team wins, and with that win come immunity! Hooray!
The next day, the contestants head to Cedars-Sinai Hospital to get the results of their medical exams taken earlier in the week. To sum it all up - everyone's fat and unhealthy. Moving on. It's the last chance workout and Joelle is doing a whole lot of running...her mouth. Maybe that helps with the double chin. The workout ends, and the contestants are herded to the truck scale for their weigh-in.
Alison, in another shocker, states that there will be no elimination, BUT (and this is a big but/butt) the 9 teams who fall below the yellow line for percentage weight loss will have to choose one member to go home. That member may only return to the ranch if their partner is still in the game after 30 days. Is it just me, or is Alison looking a little chunkier than the start of the show? Someone get her a color tshirt, and throw her in the mix. Brown team wins the weigh in with an astonishing 54 lbs lost! Here are the rest of the pounds lost:
Black: -34
Silver: - 24
Orange: - 26
Red: - 35
White: -34
Yellow: -25
Purple: - 31
Pink: -25
Green: -34
My favorite line of the night goes to Ron - who says that winning the weigh-in was like "all the weight of the world is lifted off my shoulders." GONG! What a pun. Now the 9 teams have to deliberate. We see each team member talking, saying that they should be selfless and send themselves home, blah, blah. But then there's Carla who keeps it real, declaring "I WANT TO STAY." This is one hot bitch. Here are the individuals going home:
Pink: Shanon
Blue: Sione
Green: Laura (Thank God)
Yellow: Aubrey (In her hug goodbye we see she has a HUGE back tat...sexy...kind of...OK not at all)
Red: Nicole (Maybe we'll finally hear Damien speak)
Orange: David
Silver: Carla (WHYYYYY?? But she doesn't leave without threatening Joelle that if she's not on the ranch, she has to answer to Big C)
Purple: Cathy
White: Estella
I'll have the steak AND the lobster.
OK cue the hugs, tears, slow-mo, and Sarah McLaughlin. What are we in some sort of Senior Year Memories video? If so, then that could be the main reason why I'll still be watching. Next episode looks promising, because for the first time in 7 seasons...BOB LOSES HIS SHIT! Oh and in other news, Lindsay Lohan's entering a convent, Obama's actually a very tan white man, and they're now offering ice-skating and snow cones in hell.
Be sure to check this all out, Tuesdays at 8/7c on NBC.
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Comments (9)
How can NBC call it couples when they broke up 9 out of 11?
1 of 9 | Posted by Quean CeCe | Posted on January 9, 2009 9:04 PM
Nice recap! thanks for keeping it short and sweet.
Im really annoyed they claimed there was no elimination but then nearly half the contestants went home.
2 of 9 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on January 10, 2009 12:55 AM
I agree...lots of complaints that it's "couples" without the other half. What good is a ball without a chain?
I appreciated the brevity of the recap. The show tends to drag in a lot of spots while they put in product placement and sappy interviews. Reading this was like TIVOing the show and fast forwarding through the lame parts.
I just don't understand why people want Bob as a trainer. Besides the blatant homosexuality (not that there's anything wrong with that), I just don't see where the motivation would come from for someone that doesn't scare me! I won't work out harder because I like the guy. I'd work harder if I felt they were pushing me, or if I was scared that [she] would open her forehead to unleash hell-fire and demons if I didn't give [her] another pushup. Give me Jillian any day!
3 of 9 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 10, 2009 5:19 AM
I like the fact that they sent home half of the partners. I think that one of the reasons these people are here is that they give up on themselves very easily. At least this gives them the added boost of knowing that someone else is depending on them.
I thought that all of the more assertive people stayed at the ranch with the exception of Carla - what's up with that???
Loved the recap - very funny!
4 of 9 | Posted by Mrs J | Posted on January 10, 2009 9:11 AM
First Alison is preggers, that's why she looks a little heavier. She was on Ellen a few weeks ago and was about ready to pop.
I'm not a fan of them sending half of the contestants home. While they do probably give up easily, the whole point of getting on the show is to kickstart their weight loss. Plus it's biggest losers couples. Not happy about them going home!
5 of 9 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on January 10, 2009 12:24 PM
Yay! A Biggest Loser Awesome Recap!!!
Favorite line: Jillian's sign saying "I'll just flat out fucking kill you."
hee hee
6 of 9 | Posted by Clair | Posted on January 10, 2009 7:38 PM
Um, this is NOT the first time you've covered Biggest Loser -- the wonderful term "vaginankle" originated from these very pages some seasons past.
But welcome back, I've missed you!
7 of 9 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on January 13, 2009 2:21 AM
ok i am mortified at my mistake!! i changed the opening welcome! duuuhhhh. thanks killbond, you're my hero. and welcome to the family, curli! xo
8 of 9 | Posted by flipit | Posted on January 13, 2009 2:40 AM
That's OK, Flipit, I adore you.
9 of 9 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on January 13, 2009 11:35 AM