The second episode starts with the players who are still in the game. Everyone's confident that they're going to work their ass off (literally) to bring back their partners...that is, everyone but Joelle. She is legitimately scared for her life if she doesn't get Carla back on the show. Honestly, I hope that happens, and I hope there's a camera crew set and ready in Michigan for my personal entertainment.
THAT'S THE HOTNESS.
I apologize for the late, low-fat version of a recap, but I have been SWAMPED at work - I know, Jillian...no excuses. But I really was busy...please don't kick my ass.
The contestants still in the game are beckoned by Alison to participate in their first Temptation Challenge. Let me tell you, these challenges are B to the S. You want a temptation challenge? Here's a temptation challenge: hotbox the gym and then put a buffet table full of Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, Oreos, Ho-Ho's and any other high fructose, low nutrition items ending in a vowel, in the weigh-in room. Here's the challenge, weigh in now...or weigh in after you attempt to quell the bottomless pit known as your stomach. That's known as a Friday night at my apartment.
The contestants are positioned behind a white line outside the gym. Alison motions them to look at the end of the driveway where a limo appears. What, are a chicken and a deep fryer going to exit the car? Well, Sione thinks so. Man, that guy will not shut up about fried chicken. I was starting to wonder if KFC bought ad time on the show. Side note - I have a calculation about the "natural/conversational" advertisements on the show:
> 3 mentions: The contestants ACTUALLY want the item
4 to 2,385,738,437,945 mentions: NBC makes bank, while we feel awkward as Bob attempts to tell us why "Wild Watermelon" Extra Sugarfree gum is his ultimate fav.
Alison has a proposition for them. By the way, apologies to Alison - I did not know she was pregnant, I thought she was just carrying around a baby of fat. She is looking hot at the challenge. Maybe she's Jillian's temptation? Back to the challenge. Alison says that any of them can leave now with the portion of the $250K. Check please! No, they're doing it for their health, and their well-being, and their mental state, and their (cue Charlie Brown's teacher). Why can't people just be up front about doing things for money? I mean, Elliot Spitzer's hooker did and look at her now - the truth set her free...to do Playboy.
Alison's first offer is ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. I know, please restrain yourself - this is getting crazy. A few contestants step far back from the line. Wait a minute...Alison throws another curve ball. If you take the money, you leave and your partner will not be able to come back. How is Joelle not RUNNING away from that white line? Actually she's the only one who's really contemplating taking the money. Alison then ups the ante: 5K. Alright, I'm listening. Well, it seems that every contestant has stepped back...except Joelle. Is this bitch for real? Does she not know if she took the money, Carla would probably paper cut her to death with every single bill?? I guess I'm the only one who sees Carla as the biggest threat in the competition. Threat to lives, that is.
What's this? Alison is now offering TWENTY-FIVE-THOUSAND-DOLLARS. (Please say every word loudly and with uber-emphasis for maximum shock and awe results.) Joelle's rationale as to why she should take the money and run is priceless...ok maybe around 5K. She explains that 25K is more than she would make in a few years. Is it just me, or does that seem slightly illegal? Is the show actually shot in Mexico? She also says that she could buy a house in MI for 5K. I think she has a higher risk dying in that neighborhood, than obesity-related health issues. That figure actually may be correct taking into consideration no one is the US has any money.
25K - going once, going twiiiiiiiiice, and...OH, SICK FAKE OUT JOELLE! She hovers her sneaker above the line until the last minute, than steps back. I'm kind of pissed. Carla's blowup would've been exponentially better than Bob's (which is soon to come in the recap).
"Here's a lovely 1 bedroom on the outskirts of Detroit. Actually it's maybe more of a 1/2...no, 1/3 bedroom."
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Comments (4)
I know, Curli, I cried too! But seriously, Jerry looks so great now, I am truly happy for him. Maybe passing out and being sent to the hospital on your first attempt at exercising is what all of us fatties need to keep us motivated. Unfortunately, I have myself convinced that just watching diet shows = physical activity.
Thanks for the short & sweet and hilarious recaps of this way tooooo long show.
1 of 4 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on January 18, 2009 12:47 PM
Somehow the BL producers always manage to give us the money shots ... this week, paddle boat/inner thigh.
I have to disagree with the assesment of the challenge. That looked like a hill to me, a steep ugly hill.
2 of 4 | Posted by Quean CeCe | Posted on January 18, 2009 1:33 PM
I was flipping through the channel the other day while baking and stopped when I saw one of the winners from the past seasons on Oprah. He has gained it all back plus some. Most everyone that has been on the show gains most of it back once the final live show is done. Did any one else catch in the last season final when the winner said she was spending 4 hours a day in the gym? That is crazy.
This show could be so much more successful in the long run (well, for the contestants) if they followed people in the normal world for a year and only went to the farm on the weekends. Losing 20 pounds in a week is not good and will never stay off.
3 of 4 | Posted by carol | Posted on January 19, 2009 12:07 AM
I hate to say anything bad about the writers on TVgasm because I know it isn't an easy job. But I really like this show and feel that it has a lot more potential than these recaps.
4 of 4 | Posted by areyoucliff | Posted on January 21, 2009 10:58 AM