This week on The Biggest Loser, Amanda realizes that she has no allies left in the house with Becca gone. And contestants get to chew the fat with Suze Orman. What does Suze Orman know about weight loss? Well, she knows that being fat = being poor. Apparently, she never met Henry VIII. And, trust me. She was alive back in the 1500s. I've always suspected that she is secretly celebrating the immortal.
At the beginning of the episode, we get to relive all that garbage with Rudy sending Becca home. What a crock of crap. He is just a big dumb oaf cleverly disguised as....well, a big dumb oaf. He should find a career tossing barrels or pulling trucks with his bare hands. Perhaps he can wage a war with some trolls under a bridge somewhere. Seriously, this man is like a dim-witted -- yet angry -- hairy giant from an epic fairytale. Sorry to let it rip on him, but I never properly berated his fake-dumb argument with Beckers. You know who else didn't buy his crap? Jillian!
Bob asks the group how the voting went, and Rudy regurgitates his whole argument about not trusting Becca. Jillian says that Rebecca was the #1 threat in the house, and it's okay to vote her out because of that. But don't lie about it. Rudy continues to deny that reasoning. Jillian doesn't buy it, but seeing that he's stubborn and it's pointless, she moves on. She will eventually stab him to death with her pointy bone structure, but now it's time to head straight to the gym.
We watch a lot of "Then vs. Now" segments. We see how hard simple exercises were for everyone in the beginning and how easy it is now. Rudy used to struggle with lifting 40 pounds, but now he chuckles when he lifts it. If you are laughing as you lift weights, by the way, then it's time to increase the weight! Danny notes how the bar used to hit his saggy belly when he did curls, but now the bar clears his belly with no problem! AND he trots out his young football pics YET AGAIN. We GET it, Danny! You used to be young once! You did not, in fact, magically materialize on Earth as a 40-year-old man. We BELIEVE you!
Ali meets the team at the house and congratulates them on making it to the final week on campus. Has anyone else noticed how .... spaced .... apart .... Allison's .... words .... are? She talks like a robot with an extra chromosome. After eight seasons of this show, you'd think she'd have the whole cue-card schtick DOWN. I just want to knock her on the back of her head and tell her to spit it out, already!
Allison tells everyone that Suze Orman is there to help them make the connection between health and wealth, and Allen is practically GIDDY! Financial planners are like rock stars for nerds! Suze will be joining them courtesy of Total cereal. Kind of ironic because if Suze were eating a high-fiber cereal like Total, then maybe she wouldn't always have a stick up her ass. Okay, okay, I jest. I've actually always really harbored a deep, affectionate love for that crazy beast of a lady.
Suze tells everyone that obesity is an expensive disease. Obesity-related health illnesses eat up lots of dough. For example, life insurance is more expensive. On a total side note, I think it's completely LAME that it IS cheaper to eat poorly in America. Yes, we all pay for it later. But when cash is tight and McDonald's is infinitely cheaper than Whole Foods, I can see why someone would choose the former. That, my friends, has nothing to do about anything. Just one of my personal annoyances.
Suze asks Liz if she's happily married, and Liz says she's working on it. Suze says people spend more money when they're unhappy. She makes Liz say, "I give 100 percent all the time to be who I am." Suze gets worked up and says, "YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO, GIRLFRIEND! AND DON'T YOU EVER COME OFF OF THAT. YOU HEAR ME?" This exchange is freakish and scary and makes me burst into a fit of giggles! This is exactly why I love Ms. Suze Pants! She gets so freakin' worked up about crazy shit and makes me feel halfway normal. What she calls "tough love," I call "borderline personality disorder."
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Comments (6)
I guess I'm rooting for Danny. Rudy is rudey, Liz is whiny and Amanda is just irritating. I can forgive her though for lack of life experience.
I really hope that one of the voted off contestants comes back strong at the finale and beats these final final 4.
Love your recaps Manda. You are freakishly fuckin funny-my lame attempt at alliteration.
1 of 6 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on December 1, 2009 1:43 PM
"Maybe living in the shell of our friendly giant is a teenage girl who he devoured whole back in the days of yore."
!!!!
I have to say: the Biggest Loser franchise pulls down more than $100 million per year just in ancillary merchandising. And the best they can do is donate $5,000 worth of gym equipment to just one school? Give me a break.
I'm waiting for the day when they'll sell sponsorships to contestants' fat rolls.
"This disgusting mass of fatty flesh brought to you by McDonald's Healthy Choice Meals. Now with only 3,000 calories."
2 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 1, 2009 2:55 PM
Flabulous is fabulous. It's my new favorite word.
3 of 6 | Posted by palm715 | Posted on December 1, 2009 7:00 PM
I have to tell ya, Liz cracks me up. And honestly, one of the reasons she doesn't do as well as the others is because she's a woman and she's almost 50. She's probably coming close to menopause and girl, when that happens forget it. It takes an Act of Congress to lose weight. Trust me. I speak from experience!!!
4 of 6 | Posted by Baffled | Posted on December 2, 2009 10:06 PM
It definitely seems unfair to pit younger folks (under 30) who are still producing growth hormones and therefore should have a much easier time shedding the weight against older folks who, with no growth hormones super-charging their metabolisms, will have a tougher time of it.
Maybe that's why nearly all of the older former contestants they showed the other week are still, well, fat. Okay, okay, still overweight.
Anyway, the only thing positive I can say about this show is that, when they're not hawking yet another unneccessary product, they insist on a diet based on organic, basic foods.
Because it's all of the crap in the industrialized foods that is making people fat. You really want to lose weight? Stop eating out boxes.
5 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 3, 2009 12:10 AM
Fun recap. I just had to object to one point. It's not cheaper to eat poorly. It's just easier to eat lazy.
1.5lb of chicken breasts - ~$5
1lb of broccoli - $1
2c of brown rice - $2
Total: $8. Feeds four at $2 per person. A value meal at McDonald's is $6+
You can eat like really, REALLY well for $6 per meal per person. People just have to get off their fat asses and cook it themselves.
6 of 6 | Posted by Damian | Posted on December 4, 2009 12:51 PM