This week's episode starts off with Bob talking to Andrea and Suzi about last week's Elimination Ceremony. Bob is shocked to learn that Andrea made it over Shannon. Not as shocked as Andrea, evidently, who says, "It sucks to be in the position that I'm in. Every time I turn around they're like 'Oh, let's keep her because she's not a threat.' But, the fact of the matter is that I'm still here and I'm going to make the best of it." Another fact of the matter: making the best of things is a $15 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!

Bob tells the girls "the game is on." Really? And here I thought it had been on the last two months. Bob is so Zen(thura!).

In the gym, Jillian tells her boys what she knows about the upcoming challenge: "Endurance. Strength. Balance. Focus. In a bathing suit." A bathing suit? Looks like she forgot to add nausea. To get the men ready, Jillian bases this week's training on balance and strength, which for obvious reasons (Vaginankle!) can't be good for Dr. Jeff. And he knows as much. "I don't go there saying I want to lose," he tells us. "I don't want to embarrass myself, but I'm a realist." He's also a man with a vagina for an ankle.

"'Vaginankle.' Doesn't matter how many times you say it, it never sounds like a word you want to say." -- Dr. Jeff

Suzi and Andrea, meanwhile, appear to be doing some yoga. Of course, it could just be gas, but the Asian music the producers have picked isn't exactly conducive to a gas montage. Bob is teaching the girls yoga because he feels "yoga's all about working your core strength. Balance. Kind of going into that, quote unquote, 'third eye' so you get yourself more centered, and that's what yoga is all about for me." Funny, for me it's all about the chance to fart in a room full of sweaty strangers. But at least I'm getting in touch with my third-eye.

Back in the gym, sparks are flying between Jillian and Matt, who is following up last week's 12-pound gain with a bad case of Mattitude. Jillian tells him he doesn't get to f*ck around this week. At all. "I haven't f*cked around at all," Matt shoots back. No, he just gained 12 pounds last week working his ass off eating steak and sleeping. Matt wants to hold on to the treadmill bar, which evidently is a big no-no in Jillian's world, and she chastises him for it. "Oh, big f*cking deal," Matt says. "I don't want to hear that." Other things Matt doesn't want to hear: take off the f*cking hat!

Jillian and Matt argue some more about his Mattitude. Jillian just doesn't feel like he's that into it this week. In the end, Matt walks out and leaves Jillian a broken shell of a woman. Looks like Jillian picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Later, Jillian puts on her Freud hat and tells us this is Matt's story. He has all the potential for greatness, then he sabotages himself at the very end. "He could've been a national champ (wrestler) he tells me all the time, and he could be the biggest loser, but he gets right up to the end, and then he shoots himself in the foot."

Turns out Matt is just freaked that he's going home in a couple of weeks. "I'm going to go home and have to face everything that got me here," he says. "Being able to walk into a bar. Being able to go into restaurants and see disgusting amounts of food." Bars and restaurants serving disgusting amounts of food? God, I love America. "I am terrified of going home now." So he's sabotaging himself because he wants to go home earlier... Jebus, my therapist could buy a new boat with the money she'd make off this guy. Although since she's already bought two boats and a jet-ski from the bittersweet taste of my tears, she'd probably end up buying a cabin in the woods. And probably the one I told her I wanted to buy. Did I mention my therapist's a bitch?

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Last Comment: ashlyn hallman on Dec 2, 2005 09:00 PM.