By The Qwertz

As the days passed and the depression set in that I'd have no further episodes of Blowout to see, I figured I'd treat myself to a bit of reality show "realism." A confluence of events came about: the holiday weekend approached, my hair was very long, I hadn't produced a final recap for my dear readers and finally the weekend would mark the first weekend of The Qwertz's coast-to-coast birth month celebration. Yes, I have multiple parties over the month, hell, if I'm steadily increasing in age, I ought to enjoy doing so! As a treat, my dear sister suggested I hop on out to Los Angeles and book a cut with one of the chumps from the Jonathan Salon.

What did I experience? Why were there hair terrorists at Prada on Rodeo? Would Jonathan and the bambino be present? Find out after the jump.

Continue reading "Blow Out: TVgasm Enters the Realm of Jonathan Antin" »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 4:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (25)

By The Qwertz

Well if you watched last week's episode of Blowout, you knew what would be next. Jonathan only continually browbeating the Baccardi execs and the viewer over his tight schedule since he would have to be in Hawaii, bro, after banging out some rockin' hair, bro. I'm masc, bro. So this week we saw Blowout: Aloha Edition. Nothing says masc like wearing a lei and giving a public lecture on how to combat the most unholy of terrors since the overthrow of Queen Lili'uokalani: frizzy hair in tropical climates!!!!

Continue reading "Blow Out: Hawaii Five-Blow" »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 2:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)

By The Qwertz

Hello, my dear readers. First, I must apologize for having missed the recap of last week's episode. The world of corporate law has wrought pain on my ass, and combined with traveling coast to coast (like our goldenboy Jason), it has left me unable to even WATCH television, let alone recap. In my hotel I saw three minutes of last week's episode where Jonathan lost it with the product packaging design guy, and try as I may, I still haven't had time to watch that spectacular blowup. Alas...back on solid ground this week I found myself confronted with one of the few episodes I actually liked. Yay! Will this signal a return of Blowout to its former glory? Only weeks will tell.

Continue reading "Blow Out: When Life Gives You Limóns..." »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 3:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)

By The Qwertz

Well its that time again for Jonathan to hit New York, climb up the Empire State Building with a woman in his grip and not come down until Jonathan Product canvasses the country from coast to coast. Yes, it is the Olympus Fashion Week episode where Jonathan promises to be more self-important and more a prima-donna than ever before! Will he get all those models prepped? Will he have aerosol in time? Will he have to use actual dirt when he runs out of Dirt? Most importantly, will we see Jason???

Continue reading "Blow Out: New York, Old Ego" »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

By The Qwertz

The sun is out, the clocks have sprung ahead -- it's time to settle in and enjoy the comforts of the changing seasons. Of course if you are like me and reading this from the inside of your office as you stare out your window cursing those enjoying the weather, well we can take solace in knowing Blowout has reliably produced another worthy episode of mockery and derision.

Continue reading "Blow Out: What's New Pussycats?" »

Posted by Guest Columnist at 3:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)