We open to some highlights from last episode where Jonathan evidently was stressing people out at QVC, and his appearance on air actually drove down sales of product at one point. Booo, I always miss the good stuff! Anywho, we are back in LA. AHHHH! This show turned into a horror movie as we see a partially dressed, bare-chested Cro-Magnon man, Jonathan, rushing to be dressed and be gone. Oh, but he lets us in on a secret he carries around in his pocket. Yes, a small penis as we suspected. I JUS KEEEDING! It's really a small tube of his next latest and greatest product in development: Jonathan Silky Dirt. Yeah, I'm just as excited as you.

He applies it, checks himself out and exclaims "BANG-ladesh, how u doin, CHUNK, FUNK." Poor Asher is going to have such a bizarre vocabulary when he finally does start speaking. Well, this rush is all because Jonathan is running late for his first client, but that's ok, he doesn't like cutting hair when he's unhurried. On his way out he reminds us "you always want to carry silky dirt with you" which sounds oddly gross. Like I keep thinking he's saying you always want to carry lube around with you because as he says "you either want to be dirty or you want to be silky or you want to be silk and dirty at the same time." Eww, he had to have sex with a woman to have that child.

Finally he's in his $130k car and is expanding on how he's excited to get into the studio, and FINALLY he mentions he's curious if anyone in his salon watched him on QVC. Ok, he's already been on Good Morning America and he didn't care if people watched, but QVC? Oh puh-lease. I think the last time I watched QVC was a year ago for three minutes when I was with my grandmother and I had to fight her for the remote to keep her from buying more of the Joan Rivers Jewelry Collection -- or is it the Jewry Collection? I don't know French. Walking in the Beverly Hills Salon saying wassup to his people, some sucking up occurs "we missed you boss" and Jonathan lays it out: So Kiara, did you watch QVC? HA, so busted. Drop those extensions girl because you 'bout to be bitched at.