TVgasm Recaps

By EdHill

Wow, can you believe it's been only a week since the last Brat Camp? Yeah, well, it's acutally been two weeks because last week was a two-hour Peter Jennings retrospective. Thanks for paying attention. But in that two-week period we haven't exactly been brat-less (or is it Brat Camp-less?), because our troubled teens have been all over the news. First lovely Jada plowed a speedboat into a family in MA, and then "Angry Punk" Isaiah was caught scrawling racist epithets on a neighbor's home.  Something doesn't make sense here. I mean, they were given hippie names! What else could they possibly need!? Yeah sure, I suppose you could go the "traditional" route and say that "years of therapy" would work better than 40 days in a commune being followed by a camera crew, but that would just prove that you're a total square who just doesn't get it, man. Now pass the doobie.

By Ed Hill

So let me ask a question to all you loyal TVgasm readers out there. What were you doing 8 months ago today? I know what I was doing. Sitting in my family's living room opening presents. I can picture it now….

(wavy lines)

Well whattya know, I got the new God of War game for the PS2! And look, my sister Rosemary got that iPod she's been wanting! What's that Mom? Another Tanqueray and Tonic? You got it. Hey everyone, lets sing a song!

I bet we been together for a million years
And I bet we'll be together for a million more.
Oh, It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed
And I can't remember what I ever did before.
What would we do baby, Without Us?
What would we do baby, Without Us?
And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.
What would we do baby, Without Us?
Sha la la laaaaa.

(Wavy lines)

Ahhh, Christmas in the Hill household. Presents, liquor and the theme song to Family Ties. Pure bliss. But alas, not everyone's Christmas was as joyful as mine. Some of them downright sucked. And those people would be described best with one word: Brats!