We start off with Luke and Femi discussing Neuter Boy and how he turned on Bahston during last week's eliminations, thereby breaking up the Alex/Bahston budding Bromance. Poor Bahston is missing his cuddle bunny. He's not happy about those lonely nights in bed with nothing to rub up on but his own palm, no one to talk to but an anthropomorph and the unknown comic. He confronts Neuter who doesn't make any friends by being self righteous and coming up with excuses that would get him slapped by my seven year old neice, let alone a real man. He's the guy that argues for argument's sake and always has to be right. I had someone in my life like that once. That ended up in a little something called a divorce.

Brody interrupts this fascinating exchange by calling to inform our final three heroes that they have ten minutes to clean house because BJ's mom is coming over. The woman that spawned our prince and by doing so helped make hours of drunken stupidity available to our humble viewer, is going to make an appearance. And it's all about appearances, folks. You'll understand when you see her. She looks like she shares a plastic surgeon with her ex husband, who probably got the number from Jocelyn Wildensteen.

There's a flurry of activity, a hiding of panties and alcohol (Brody's mom doesn't know he drinks. You heard wrong, Brody. She said she doesn't know you think.), and a cleaning of a sink with a mop.

Mom arrives, looking like your average mother, if your mother was married to a botox needle and turned tricks in a parking garage in Century City.

She seems nice enough for a lady who can only move her face from the lower lip down, and she meets the candidates for her future son in law one by one. Femi really sucks up to her and comments with the stellar grammar we've come to expect from him, that she really "keeps herself to fitness." They sit down to lunch together where she tells this totally contrived story of Brody coming home with a wounded snail (really?!) that she helped him to heal by puting nail polish on it's cracked shell. I guess that geniuses really do run in the Jenner family.

But this visit isn't just about sharing how Brody Jenner is a friend of nature, we have some serious business to take care of in the form of a lie detector test. Momma Brotox informs the guys that she isn't as trusting as her son and will need to test them to see if they are here for friendship or just all the crap that comes with it. They are individually taken to a room with red lights and the aforementioned test, and a burly guy to administer it.

They are told not to make any unneccessary movements and to give yes or no answers. Luke seems surprisingly calm, Femi looks like he's about to get arrested and Neuter Boy looks like he just shit his pants. I am a little taken aback to how they answer her query of, "Who do you think Brody likes best?" I expect Femi to say himself but not the other two as well. He must give the best head or prostate massage because I thought that they would all say Bahston, for sure. It was fun to watch them squirm when she asked them if they found Brody attractive. They all said yes, and I have only one thing to say:

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Posted in Bromance by Twunty McSlore at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: setaroa on Feb 7, 2009 01:45 PM.