Flat-Out Awesome - 
by B-Side
VH1 premiered But Can They Sing? last night, and I'll just say it. This show is amazing. Truly amazing. Just about the only detraction was the unctuous emceeing by host Ahmet Zappa. C'mon VH1. You can do better than that. Nevertheless, even though some of the singers pulled off adequate karaoke-level performances, the real stars of the show were wannabe crooners Antonio Sabato Jr., Kim Alexis, Myrka Dellanos (who?), and Bai Ling. Emphasis on Bai Ling. I still don't know whether I'm embarrassed for these "retro-stars" or impressed with their "bravery," as VH1 calls it, but honestly, I'm not sure if I care either way. As long as they keep spewing out the atonal dirges, I'll be more than happy to sit and listen.
Audio clips in convenient, iPod-friendly mp3 format after the jump...
Click on the singers or their names to hear them perform.
And last but not least, Bai Ling takes on Madonna's "Like A Virgin." This performance was so fantastic, we had to include the whole song. Instant classic.
Who was your favorite?
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Comments
Oh Boise! I hope that I have somehow received the Chipmunks versions of these MP3 clips. If not, whew. That is beyond horrendous. But can they sing? Answer: No.
Posted by: Lizardqueen | October 31, 2005 4:26 PM(#1 of 45)
I have to agree with Bai Ling's awe inspiring performance... but the audio doesn't do her justice! The public demands a video clip of her performance! I mean... come on... Madonna might as well retire and let Bai Ling take over!
Posted by: L | October 31, 2005 4:27 PM(#2 of 45)
L--
I tried to upload a video clip, but it was too big. I have to wait until technical guru J-Unit returns to the TVgasm offices before we get video up.
But I agree, Bai Ling's performance was a sight to be seen, not just heard.
Posted by: B-Side | October 31, 2005 4:28 PM(#3 of 45)
Oh man, last week I was driving down Melrose and passed Bai Ling in her cherry red Mercedes, singing her head off like the world's most passionate lounge singer. Now I know it had a purpose!
Posted by: Kat | October 31, 2005 4:39 PM(#4 of 45)
I guess this proves that no publicity is bad publicity.
Posted by: Mark | October 31, 2005 5:09 PM(#5 of 45)
This is my show. If u dont agree, ur deaf, blind, and stupid.
Posted by: Carmine Gotti | October 31, 2005 5:21 PM(#6 of 45)
I used to like Myrka Dellanos... until now. She kinda looked ridiculous.
Posted by: b | October 31, 2005 5:27 PM(#7 of 45)
Then again... Kim Alexis and Bai Ling...
Posted by: b | October 31, 2005 5:28 PM(#8 of 45)
And don't forget to vote for your favorites! I'm voting for Bai Ling, she definitely displayed a lot of heart and tried her best. Let's all vote for her so that one day she and William Hung can sing a duet at the finale! And you can vote as much as you want... is it wrong for me to have voted 10 times?
Posted by: L | October 31, 2005 5:35 PM(#9 of 45)
http://www.vh1.com/vspot/player.jhtml?name=shows&vid=64901
If you want to see the Bai Ling performance in all it's glory!
Posted by: E | October 31, 2005 6:36 PM(#10 of 45)
Hey B-Side-
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You- I would never have given this show a second thought (didn't even consider it last night, even though I knew it was on). But your audio clips made me an instant fan!!! I can't wait for next week. Does anyone know the line-up? will it always be the same people competing against each other or will there be different guests on each week? How does this show work?
Posted by: amygirl | October 31, 2005 7:24 PM(#11 of 45)
Woah, Kim Alexis. That was some bad stuff right there.
Posted by: Dave J. | October 31, 2005 8:28 PM(#12 of 45)
Ouch. I could only take a few seconds of each song. And by the way, that wasn't Bai Ling, that was William Hung's sister.
Posted by: geewits | October 31, 2005 9:43 PM(#13 of 45)
wow, id say its a three-way tie between bai ling, myrka, and kim alexis. I mean, I thought I knew tone deaf via Britney Spears, but obviously these three ladies are the wave of the future.
Posted by: mondo259er | October 31, 2005 9:45 PM(#14 of 45)
"You make me feeah, all sine-y and new...Like a verge-Gin..You're so fie, and you my...Like a
verge-IN..when you hahr bea neck to my...like a virg-IN...OWWWWW"
That's not Bai Ling, that's Yoko Ono.
Posted by: Fuzzbait | October 31, 2005 10:03 PM(#15 of 45)
x_Owwwwwwwwww!!!
Damn, man. Bai Ling's version kept spinning in my head for the whole day.
I had the urge to stand up during my meeting and go "OWWWWWwwwwwuuuuuuu"!
Posted by: Trumpoline | November 1, 2005 4:15 AM(#16 of 45)
I'm from Detroit and as of now I'm nominating Bai Ling to sing the national anthem before Super Bowl XL, to be played here this season. It'll be a perfect reminder that Detroit sucks and is about to be swept away in the river.
Posted by: Tony A. | November 1, 2005 4:20 AM(#17 of 45)
Tony A. -- as a fellow Detroiter, please do not give them any ideas. I was at the Pistons' playoff game where William Hung "sang". Sometimes, with the help of some sedatives, I can forget how awful it was...
Posted by: BigMax | November 1, 2005 6:16 AM(#18 of 45)
I'm another fellow Detroiter (three in a row - wow!). This show was awesome, made me realize how talented some of those kids on American Idol are. Even at their worst, they are better than any of these "celebrities."
Posted by: SaveFerris | November 1, 2005 6:57 AM(#19 of 45)
There is no excuse for Bai Ling. She needs to be slapped - repeatedly.
Posted by: Toya | November 1, 2005 7:40 AM(#20 of 45)
I see 9 agents being fired this week......
but God I can't wait until Sunday night!!!!!!
Posted by: rubyslypperz | November 1, 2005 9:40 AM(#21 of 45)
This show is fricking terrible.
I LOVE IT.
Posted by: Misty | November 1, 2005 9:43 AM(#22 of 45)
Okay, so I still have no clue who Myrka Dellanos is, but she does have her own website: www.myrka.com
All I can say about this show is: OUCH!
Posted by: Christy | November 1, 2005 10:00 AM(#23 of 45)
Wow. Did they actually instruct the audience to patronize as muich as humanly possible. I can't tell if they are cheering or laughing.
Posted by: Gill | November 1, 2005 10:00 AM(#24 of 45)
Once again, I'm punished for having a MAC: VH1 site/vspot doesn't work for me :(
Any other links to Bai Ling?
Posted by: ok_go | November 1, 2005 11:04 AM(#25 of 45)
I just listened to the mp3's.
They are kidding, right? This is not for real, is it? Who in their right mind would do this?
Posted by: is | November 1, 2005 11:13 AM(#26 of 45)
Well, Joey Pantoliano wasn't ...too bad.
He wasn't good though.
This may indicate exactly how much "tweaking" is done to the current raft of stars to get them to sound halfway decent.
Posted by: Jeff | November 1, 2005 12:16 PM(#27 of 45)
Myrka Dellanos used to host a show on Univision, the spanish language network, called "Primer Impacto", an "Inside Edition/A Current Affair" type of program. She basically gave up hosting the show when she started dating singer Luis Miguel, whom she met when she interviewed him for the show.
Posted by: Bea | November 1, 2005 1:47 PM(#28 of 45)
E -- thanks for the Bai Ling link. Truly had to be seen to be believed.
I dunno, Fuzzbait, even was Yoko wasn't as bad as THAT.
I mean, Bai Ling thought it was all about looking pretty (?!) and shimmying in the tragic ballerina skirt. And then she rips it off!!! Wha?!
Seems like she took Quentin's theory in Reservoir Dogs to heart -- "Like a verge-IN........ OOWWWWWWW(ch)"
ouch, indeed. we're all gonna need sedatives to dull this painful memory.
Posted by: Donna Martin Graduates! | November 1, 2005 2:56 PM(#29 of 45)
I wonder at what point during the taping the "stars" started to think, hey wait a minute, I was chosen because I suck...
according to imdb Myrka Dellanos was married to Dave Matthews? is that right? I know that there are plenty of pseudo famous people that can sing, couldn't they have gotten any of them? Even one? It's sad when the power ranger blew them all out of the water....
Posted by: smithie | November 1, 2005 4:45 PM(#30 of 45)
Ow ow ow ow ow, Bai Ling hurt my ears. Can I sue her? I think I see blood.
Posted by: Genevieve | November 2, 2005 11:23 AM(#31 of 45)
Now put them all together with the Casey-dilla and Gagging Mom head thump and you have - hmmmmm - song soup? Well, you don't have much to listen to but you sure know how to get those LOVELY sounds out to us!
Thanks B-Side.
Posted by: san diego bayside | November 2, 2005 11:46 AM(#32 of 45)
Hello? VH1? The answer is no. HELL no. Not a damn one of them.
Thanks for asking!
Posted by: happy_gal | November 2, 2005 1:14 PM(#33 of 45)
I watched a rerun last night and thought part 2 was even better -- then I realized it was R Kely's Trapped in the Closet chapters 6-8 (or maybe 10 I lost count).....sad to say even funnier
Posted by: me | November 3, 2005 12:59 PM(#34 of 45)
i think everyone involved with this show knows the only reason people watch is to make fun of them.
we all know they suck.
not really all that funny.
but bai ling is amazing.
Posted by: spunkrat | November 3, 2005 7:51 PM(#35 of 45)
Myrka, Myrka, Myrka ... Why did you do it? Especially now?
Posted by: Ruth | November 4, 2005 11:09 PM(#36 of 45)
Hey! This is the best damn show there all horrible but I love it!I love Carmine so my vote is on him! Can't wait till the next show.
Posted by: Daniella Salsone | November 5, 2005 5:53 AM(#37 of 45)
Bai Ling....awfully amazing. Seriously, that is brilliant and camp. She needs to win. Because she's the only one who's not taking herself seriously (I hope...?)
Bai Ling for President!
Posted by: rg | November 5, 2005 11:15 AM(#38 of 45)
I'd love to see Bai Ling and William Hung do a duet of Islands in the Stream for the grand finale.
Posted by: Diane | November 6, 2005 9:36 AM(#39 of 45)
Is it possible that anyone is more annoying than the singers on this show?...You wouldn't think so, but look no further than the host. He trumps them all.
Posted by: Big B | November 6, 2005 7:25 PM(#40 of 45)
Myrka Dellanos? Why is she on here? Shes releasing a CD in English. She is horrible. Worst type of publicity for an upcoming CD. And whats up with the gotti kid...rapping isnt singing. Now dont get me wrong there is talent involved in coming up with up rhymes but as far as just repeating what has been written that involves no singing ability at all. You reall cant mess that up..wait ...maybe just the gotti kid.
Posted by: Carlos R | November 8, 2005 12:57 AM(#41 of 45)
I voted for BAI LING !!! LOL
I LOVE HER!!!! :) LOL
Posted by: BAI LING FOREVER | November 9, 2005 12:42 AM(#42 of 45)
CARMINE GOTTI IS THA HOTTEST GUY ALIVE I HOPE HE WIN'S!!!
Posted by: Angelia Extine | November 14, 2005 6:49 AM(#43 of 45)
Thanks for posting this
Posted by: three way | November 15, 2005 6:28 AM(#44 of 45)
Carmine luv yah
Posted by: chelsie | November 16, 2005 10:44 AM(#45 of 45)