THEY BETTER SPONSOR MY CHIROPRACTIC APPOINTMENTS AFTER THIS SHIT
They play about 4 shows in one night, bopping around from the Playboy party to the Tommy Lee party to the Snoop Dog party. If I were these guys I'd be hoping for the Have Some Gatorade And Then Take a Nap party. But I guess that's why these guys are (almost) famous and I'm the lame ass who's sitting here writing about them.
WEE! IT'S NOT ENERGY, IT'S DRUGS!
At 6 a.m. they conclude their marathon evening by cramming a dozen girls into their Hummer.
AND SPEAKING OF HUMMERS...
Three hours later, the boyz wake up from a good night's sleep, pour themselves bowls of generic corn poof cereal and begin discussing the day ahead. It's not long before Warren asks if Shwayze's lawyer was able to move the court date. "Umm, uhh. I forgot about that." Commence freakout.
Warren decides that the first course of action in remedying the situation is to inform Cisco of their current predicament. Because, if nothing else, Cisco is a man whose got his shit together.
I WISH I HAD SOME SHEET SHEETS RIGHT NOW
"Cisco Cisco! Shwayze doesn't know if his lawyer moved his court date? What should we do?"
"Maybe you should call his lawyer."
"Great idea, Cisco! Just superb."
But when Shwayze actually does get in touch with his people, he learns that he is still due in Malibu at 8a.m. He's got less than 24 hours to make it back, but he can't leave until he performs his show that night.
LORD GIVE ME A SIGN
Alright men, let's put our heads together and think of ways to get home.
Ooo! Ooo! What about a plane?
It was a good thought, but it turns out that all of the flights leaving Phoenix after the Superbowl are booked.
Just when they start to think there's no hope, Warren proposes they...drum roll please...drive home!
Oh thank goodness you solved that mess, eh boys? And just in time because now you have to go to yet another party. This time it's the BIG ONE. The one with the ominous Pontiac Sponsors.
The minute that Cisco and Shwayze arrive, Jordan gets on their case about what a vital evening this is. "You better not leave after your performance. You better stay here and meet the sponsors."
AND THAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS HOW YOU ESTABLISH A CONFLICT
Shwayze and Cisco do their little show and then the second it's over with, Warren approaches them with The Plan. They're going to get in the Hummer right now --right now?! you crazy!--and drive home. Say what? But they've gotta hustle before Jordan finds out. And they've gotta get Jordan's lackey, David, out of their way.
The boyz all pile into the car, but David stresses "It's really important that you meet the sponsors." Okay, okay they get it. But dude, give it up. They're clearly leaving you right now. Shwayze has a deer in the headlights look the whole time, and is still desperately trying to cover up his little legal snafu. As he sticks his head out of the Hummer window he's like "Tell Jordan we had to go...but don't say anything about court."
TELL HIM IT WAS A TRENDY HAT EMERGENCY
And off they drive into the night. They make it to the Malibu court with just minutes to spare.
Finally, it looks like Shwayze is getting a break. No, make that breaksssss. He gets off with just 30 days community service.
Crisis averted.
Wait, they haven't dealt with Jordan yet. And homeboy is pissed. He turns up at Cisco's house, dropping F bombs so fast that he doesn't even have time to take off his sunglasses.
I GUESS YOU CAN TAKE THE TRASH OUTTA THE TRAILER BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE TRASH OUTTA THE TRASH...OR SOMETHING
Jordan takes Shwayze outside for a private talking to, during which he informs the wee lad that his record label has a team of lawyers on hand for emergencies such as this. Aw, there's no place like home. They make up and all is right with the Team Buzzin' once again.
Oh yeah, and Shwayze has to pick up garbage on the beach.
AH TO BE YOUNG AND FAMOUS
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Comments (8)
Man this show just makes me miss Rob & Big even more. They better get funnier or so help me... haha
1 of 8 | Posted by eightyschica | Posted on July 27, 2008 5:35 PM
Man, I should have videotaped me and my buddies getting stoned back in the day. We could have sold our stuff to MTV and shown ourselves as the complete idiots we were on international television too.
Wait...they didn't have MTV back then. Didn't even have (affordable) video cameras.
Another reason to celebrate being older.
2 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 27, 2008 11:45 PM
ONE SHEET'S FITTED AND THE OTHER ONE'S THE NORMAL KIND. HOLLAH
Awesome. Thanks for keeping me entertained and trying not to laugh out loud in my cubicle with yet another fantastic tvgasm recap!
3 of 8 | Posted by becca5782 | Posted on July 29, 2008 10:21 AM
I have zero plans to actually watch this show, but hilarious recap :) Will definitely look forward to next week ...
(sorry MTV thats officially the closest I'll get to anything associated with ugly balls on the internet!) :)
I think I'm actually a fan of DJ Sheet Sheet ... now that guy, Skeet Skeet, not so much
4 of 8 | Posted by chelle | Posted on July 29, 2008 12:28 PM
If I buy the gun, the ammo, and notarize the document saying it's alright to shoot me on site, will someone put me out of my misery for know this information. But didn't that Cisco guy once date Mischa Barton and have really big nipples and/or testicles? Or something of that nature. Am I the only one who remembers that? Bless my heart
5 of 8 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 29, 2008 12:51 PM
At first I thought the DJ's name was DJ Skeet Skeet, and I was like that's not a good name to have. Anyone that doesn't know what that means needs to look it up.
This show is definately not as funny as Rob & Big. I wish MTV would pay me to get stoned out with my friend and then videotape it.
6 of 8 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on July 29, 2008 2:00 PM
It looks like filth is still fun for some people... and Jesus-hair NEVER goes out of style (just ask Jesus!).
Maybe the DJ's name was really DJ Cheat Sheet, or DJ Cliff's Notes or DJ Dum Dum... what's a Skeet, and why does it repeet?
Ugh, please someone tell me the next time these guys are in town, I want to leave first.
love, J-Mo :)
7 of 8 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 30, 2008 2:16 PM
To Skeet Skeet means to ejaculate on someone. That's why I was so worried that his name was DJ Skeet Skeet, but it's DJ Sheet Sheet.
As a DJ, he should've known better to name him something so close to skeet skeet, hopefully this will helpful to anyone who wanted to know what skeet skeet meant.
8 of 8 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on July 31, 2008 11:25 AM