It’s finally here! The low-rent Sex and the City nobody ever cared about. This series comes as a complete surprise to me as I had no idea Americans had such an insatiable appetite for badly written shows about fashion crazy, career women in Manhattan. From the plucky, cavalier musical intro to calling in Pat Fields for wardrobe, this show wants to be SATC so badly it careens right past derivative and goes for straight-to-DVD sequel. Like if SATC were Bring It On, this would be Bring It On 7: Tore Up from the Floor Up starring Jamie Lynn Spears.
But if you like seeing women being broadly lumped into two categories (from L-R: crazy, bitchy, crazy, bitchy), enjoy being beaten over the head with the Can-women-be-powerful-AND-feminine? lead pipe, and have no interest in these topics being explored with any regard to reality, then this is the show for you!
And look who’s up to bat: Lucy Liu (I can’t believe she fell for the “Asian Carrie Bradshaw” line her agent gave her), Miranda Otto (still smarting from getting straight up de-nied by Aragorn), some blonde girl, and...awesome! Mary Louise Parker! (Oh, wait. That’s not MLP, just her low-rent proxy. Figures.)
So let’s get started, shall we?
Queue B-roll of glamorous Manhattan footage. Enter Lucy Liu and Beta Boyfriend. Equal parts power pants and whimsical girly girl, she confidently debates with him what day their anniversary was. Today or tomorrow? See how perfectly she melds power and romance? She’s always right and cares about relationship milestones! Whadda gal! Got it ABC. Let’s move on. But wait, not yet. Homeboy has to propose to her in front of the park musicians that they saw on their first date one year ago exactly. (or was it 364 days ago? WHO’S RIGHT?? Gah. We’ll never know.)

Who in their right mind would cast Lucy Liu as someone who smiles so much? It's creeping me out.

Hold up a sec. This is romantic to her? First of all, who remembers street musicians from a year earlier? Unless they are naked or harass you verbally/physically, I’m not buying this remember-the-buskers forever scenario. But, as noted earlier, this is not a show dedicated to realism. Let’s proceed.
We arrive at the office with Mia (Lucy Liu) and BB (Beta Boyfriend) and discover these two like to mix business with pleasure. Just my style! But not really. They’re just both executives for the same publishing company Barnstead Media. Boring. And now enter Boss Man, a stuffy dude with a British accent. And he comes bearing reality show analogies! It’s like now they’re in the show Survivor and at the end of the week one of them gets voted off the island and winner takes all. Seriously he says that. What he’s trying to say is that by Friday one of them is promoted and becomes publisher and the other becomes emasculated and is out.
Okay, I put in the emasculated part, because technically we don’t know it’s BB that’s gonna lose, but who are we kidding? This is a show about strong! sexy! females! Male whitey doesn’t stand a chance. (And again with the realism: Like you would esteem an employee enough to put them in your top two in consideration for publisher and then FIRE them if they didn’t make the cut? I didn’t even go to B-school and I know that would be a retarded business strategy. But clearly for the sake of story line, BB is toast.) And then the two of them joke about Mia bowing out of the competition, which is such a hilarious joke because three minutes in and we the audience have already gotten it that Mia is a total ball buster. Like she would step down. Haha. Funny!

I'm gonna serve you your balls on a platter by the end of this hour. And I'm going to be dressed like a twenty year old when I do it, dammit!

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Posted in Cashmere Mafia by IS | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: bdos88 on Jan 29, 2008 05:08 PM.