Testimonials

So now that we’ve seen her in Power Pants mode, we’re switching back to Emotional Female mode. In fact, this whole show is an exercise in flipping back between the two. Because the first thing she does now that she’s in a competition to be publisher of a monolithic publishing company is URGENTLY email her friends to meet her for lunch so she can gush about the fact that she’s engaged! I so heart women and their non-linear decision making!!
So now it’s time to meet the coterie and put some nuance into the Bitchy/Crazy dichotomy Mafia sets up for us.

Juliet

"Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo!"

1) Juliet, a COO for a hotel chain, is Stone Cold Bitchy. While we will learn that Mia is Apologetically Bitchy, (Because doesn’t the average woman apologize like a thousand percent more than the average man?) Juliet is the unapologetic ice queen.

Caitlin

Like Blanche from Golden Girls, only younger blonder.

2) Then we have blondie Caitlin who is Slutty Crazy. In fact, in her vignette we learn that she only needs a man because her Blackberry doesn’t have a vibrator attachment. Bitch, please. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that.
3) And then there’s Harried Working Mom Crazy. Because, let’s be honest, there’s no way a Working Mom isn’t a little unhinged, y’all! We meet Zoe having a conference call on her bluetooth while hiding from her kids in the armoire. Say no more! Hiding from your kids in the closet means the same thing in every language.

Zoe

Mommy hates the sound of your voices.

So somehow these busy, power-wielding women manage to drop everything for a Girls’ Power Lunch. And now that Mia is with the gals, she’s not so sure that she wants to upstage her man. But Caitlin reminds us that this is 2007 and she should “Bring it”. I’m glad she reminded me that it’s 2007 because this has all of the relevance of a show from 1967. We also have a non-interesting exchange with a woman who comes over to their table named Cilla. She is not part of the group and totally brings with her the Frenemy vibe. Given the lack of content in the exchange this can only mean they’re saving her for something super catty down the line. Awesome!
Next up: “Intimate” engagement party for Mia and BB! Now in my world “intimate party” means me and two friends watching Rock of Love, but if you are a member of the “Cashmere Mafia”, “intimate party” of “nearest and dearest” means you get together fifty people at a restaurant/bar you rented out on Park Ave and have the most boring time ever.
The best part is when the husbands of Juliet and Zoe school BB on what it’s like to make a lifetime commitment to be emasculated everyday for the rest of your life. Never say the R-word, they warn. It’s like the C-word! Okay, so we all know the C-word and it does suck, and like Liz Lemon in 30 Rock lamented, there’s no male equivalent to use back. So what is this awful, verboten R-word, pray tell? What could possibly be on par with the C-word? Why it’s “Relax” of course! And I couldn’t agree more! I can’t even tell you how many necks I’ve snapped after some dude stepped to me about relaxing. And then in a deft comedic moment, as Mia and BB are stepping into the cab leaving the party, he unwittingly tells her to relax about something and immediately she retorts, “Watch it!”, causing him to chuckle merrily.

Oh, you modern women and your hatred of relaxation!

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Posted in Cashmere Mafia by InternetSensation at 12:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: bdos88 on Jan 29, 2008 05:08 PM.