Testimonials

Back at home with Crazy Mom, the Juliet drama has prompted Zoe to get all insecure about her own man’s fidelity. He gives her a Paul Newman line about hamburgers and steaks and it sets her up to make a really gross comment later about how he wants his steak done. Listening to these girls be sexy is like seeing your parents make out. Like, no.
So all this grown-up talk is interrupted by Brooke, the new live-in nanny’s, club night alarm. I’ll admit I haven’t been out since circa 2003, but a club night alarm?? Will someone please tell me that this is made up and that there is no such a thing as a “club night alarm”?? She said it’s to give you that “extra strength” when you’re going out late. Clearly for the sake of the show they just needed something louder than coke to get Zoe out of bed. Because now Zoe can see whats-her-tits in lingerie and this drives home the error of her ways. Zoe makes a fuss about Generation Y and Generation ID to her husband, which in case you don’t know means Generation “I Deserve”. From the look she gave him, Zoe thinks her husband should have known what that stood for, too, and this makes me laugh so hard because when I say something really lame at least I know it.
So the Vanessa/Alicia and Caitlin first kiss scene comes and goes without any excitement, mainly because these two radiate the sex appeal of house plants. The best part is that Caitlin apologizes for her lack of experience by saying she is “flying without instruments”. This sounds like she’s apologizing for not having a cock and I feel like I’m the only one that gets how funny this is because Caitlin and Alicia just stand there.

Ow! My head!

Dramatic Intervention/ Benefit for Juliet night arrives. New York’s finest are all wearing black for the occasion and wouldn’t you know that Juliet totally knows her man cheats on her! Not with Cilla, that burns, but those High Class Couples totally have the don’t ask-don’t-tell arrangement. Duh. Amateurs. And then I take back anything I said about the show being offensive before this moment because Juliet mops the floor with those other scenes. Amateurs.
She defends her man by saying, “Look at what a man gives up to be with us. We make more money, we rise higher, we take up more space.” We take up more space? What’s that supposed to mean? Last time I checked these four women weren’t Roseanne Barr, Camren Manheim, Rosie O’Donnell and that girl from Hairspray. Lucy Liu is like eighty pounds soaking wet. And seriously, what year is this again?? Don’t keep throwing 2007 in my face if you’re going to use your Power Pants-ness to justify cheating like it’s 1957! I’ve snapped lesser mens’ necks before for way less, so watch it!
So to get back at her man, Juliet changes her dress to red for some reason. I think it may be mafia code. And then at the banquet table, right before Juliet gets her award for being a COO (wha?) she whispers to her husband that she knows about Cilla and is going to take a lover. Way to blow that stereotype that women are passive-aggressive right out of the water. Cashmere Mafia: trailblazing paths for women everywhere!

Don't cry out loud, honey.

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Posted in Cashmere Mafia by InternetSensation at 12:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: bdos88 on Jan 29, 2008 05:08 PM.