And then in what is the most bizarre sequence of the show, the jaunty “Antics!” music begins and we watch Zoe clumsily flee from the benefit to go to her daughter’s recital and she must be on some drugs because this bitch starts actin’ a fool. She can’t get in because she’s late, so she sneaks in through the backstage and without a care in the world, she barges in front of the girls waiting in the wings, waving at her daughter onstage. Then she trips over the set, knocks it over and when she sees her husband, waves to him from the stage and when she finally gets to her seat next to him practically shouts, “I MADE IT.” Is this what happens when Generation I Deserve finally makes you crack? Poor Zoe. Whats-her-tits really did look good in that lingerie.
Finally! Friday has arrived! And now for the results of Survivor: Barnstead Media Island...Mia won! Surprising no one, not even BB, who comes in with the idea that he’s retained his dignity, but he lost the first time he went out with Bossy Boots approximately one year ago. But, here’s the curve ball of the day, at least for Mia, he’s dumping her! These two have the same level of passion as I do with model trains and antique doll houses, so I’m thinking these kids can wrap this up pretty quickly. Mia gives an unconvincing “But it’s not winning without yooooouuuu” line, but I’m already mentally casting a new, vaguely familiar looking actor for her next unsuccessful relationship attempt.
He should be free soon.
So back at Girls’ Power Lunch, Mia muses over whether or not she really did win, because now BB is gone forever. Like, did he go kill himself? What relationship, especially one on the fast track to marriage, ends in a two minute conversation at the office and then the person disappears forever? (Granted, I can’t seem to make relationships ever end, but still this makes no sense.) Doesn’t it merit at least ONE more conversation to split friends or something? I’ve stopped trying to understand this show because it makes my brain hurt.
So, once again Frenemy Cilla pops over and says, “The Cashmere Mafia. That’s what they call you, you know.” And...What’s your point, Cilla? Are they supposed to be insulted? Are they supposed to go make hoodies now with their team name? And she signs off with, “See you around campus, girls” confirming that there is some sort of unspoken rivalry and each clique is a “school” and they have their power lunches at “the Peach Pit” and getting to be publisher is like getting a gold star for the day! I get it! Well, here’s to hoping the Hoboken Hos come over take all these bitches down next week. Can’t wait for that!
Oh, Lucy. No one won this round.
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Comments (4)
Since I am the owner/operator of a penis, I really had no business watching this show to begin with, but they had filmed a lot of it in my neighborhood so thought I'd check it out. Internet Sensation, I think you were actually too kind to this show. It was just awful. Amazing to see a show where not even one character acted in a remotely realistic or believable way the entire hour. I can't even recommend this on a "so bad it's funny" basis, it's just too awful to even laugh at.
However, with the writers' strike on and not having any real competition, this show may actually hang around for a while, God help us.
1 of 4 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on January 16, 2008 9:37 AM
Pretty good recap. I had tried to watch the show - mainly because Lucy was on it - but just couldn't force myself to stick it out. You recap was much better. I think I'll skip the show from now on (which, if there is justice in the world, will not be very long) and just enjoy your recaps!
2 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 16, 2008 9:41 AM
I agree with Fire@will. I couldn't force myself to watch the rest of it! It was such a sad wannabe of one of my favorite shows, SATC. I am quite happy to read the recaps though! great job...keep it up..you are too funny :)
3 of 4 | Posted by PinkTuTu13 | Posted on January 19, 2008 6:15 AM
InternetSensation,
Awesome recap! I actually watched this crapfest and I do think it merits the 'so-bad-it's-good' tag.
My favourite parts were the ridiculous lesbian daliance and the 'poor put-upon men are forced to cheat' speech.
4 of 4 | Posted by bdos88 | Posted on January 29, 2008 5:08 PM