In case you were worried, fear not: we're back with another episode of Celebracadabra! I haven't decided yet if I love this show or not, mostly since the celebrities are kind of unknown to me, but maybe that's the joy of it. These people want you to know them for doing bad magic tricks! It really doesn't get any better than that!
We start off at the Magic Castle, where Kimberly is oddly dressed like a 50s greaser. There's a part of me that's shocked she's wearing clothes at all, so I guess I shouldn't judge, but this wasn't really the outfit I expected.
A real pussywagon!
This week's challenge is children's magic. Ant is scared because children sometimes act clownish, and you know that shit doesn't fly with him. He reasons that if kids hate you, then that's it, they hate you. Most people hate Ant so this is kind of unfortunate, that poor dude can barely leave the house from fear! Jonathan tells the celebs they need to create a character for their magic show, and since Hal was the best last time, he has a special power in this round. He can either swap his magician for another or choose the costume of his biggest competition. If he were smart, he'd make Ant dress as a clown just so he would make weewee all over the floor.
Hal loves Rocco, so they decide to remain partners. He decides to pick Lisa's costume instead, even though she probably isn't his biggest competition. His reasoning is that Lisa has kids, but Lisa seems dull as balls, although that's not saying much in this group. She has Silly Billy working with her, however, so that probably does give her an advantage. Lisa is super flattered that Hal finds her so intimidating, and then she realizes that's not a good thing for this challenge. Oh, Lisa, you so silly. Billy.
Everyone heads over to Hollywood Toys & Costumes, and C. Thomas Howell finds it difficult to pick a costume without knowing the tricks he'll be doing. It's not as hard for Chris, who immediately heads over to the pimp section for accessories. As Hal ponders on Lisa's costume, he's bedecked in a Harry Potter getup that he was never seen picking out, so I'm going to assume this is just Hal's everyday wear. His favorite options for Lisa are Thor, a sumo wrestler, or an instant nerd kit. As someone who has worked at a Halloween store (yet I mock Hal for having no career), I don't care what he picks but please God, don't open those packages and strew costumes everywhere. That shit is hard to put back together!
Lisa doesn't care what he picks because she'll be able to work any outfit, much like the streetwalker outfits she's usually rocking. Of course, when Hal actually presents her with his options, she hates them all. Thanks for being so open-minded, Lisa! Hal seems deeply hurt over this, so he heads off to find the worst possible costume in the store, a ketchup bottle. Lisa starts to hate her life all over again, which is really saying something.
Meanwhile, Ant is hovering near the store's doorway. Apparently he's upset about something, although I can't imagine what.
Hi, kids!
He's seriously stuttering and freaking out over clown masks. Masks! If real live clowns were trotting around the store, that would be understandable, but they're masks! Lisa shares my confusion, and C. Thomas Howell decides to be my hero and says, "He won't come in because of a suspended clown outfit that actually is in my budget range right now." Oh my God, C. Thomas Howell, please put on this costume and jump out at Ant. I would actually poop my pants, but in a different way than Ant.
Lisa asks if the costume can be taken down if she buys it, but since she's a good person or some shit, she doesn't buy it just to torture Ant. She actually wants to help him enter the store, blah blah blah. Playing fair is so 2007. She promises him the clowns have been removed from the premises, and then she leads him over to the blood and gore section, since Ant is so manly. It seems like all might be well, but as they turn a corner, another clown costume dangles from the ceiling. Oh noes! Ant literally does a backbend in his rush to get the fuck out of there. Meanwhile, Lisa's cluelessly picking out crowns, wondering where Ant could've gone.
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Comments (4)
I love how you can manage to milk 5 pages of hilarious recap out of such a fluff show. Bravo.
I can totally relate to those kids concerning Hal and his butterflies...scary as sh-- memories of the butterfly tent at the science museum when I was 8 floating back into my conscience. I'm surprised you didn't note Ant's claim that the show can't get rid of the villain this early. That's the one thing I liked about him, that he was aware of how this reality stuff works. Other than that, I'm glad he's gone and this show can continue to just be a goodhearted piece of cotton candy.
1 of 4 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on May 11, 2008 1:53 AM
I doubt I'll ever watch the show, but your recaps make good reading, BQ.
2 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 11, 2008 11:00 AM
I agree, the best thing to come out of that crappy show is this hilarious recap.
3 of 4 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on May 13, 2008 12:13 PM
This show is stupid but Lisa Ann Walter is one smart cookie. I don't think she's too emotional, I think she's just playing the game well. And her boobs are definately real. Trust me, you can tell one's that are....enhanced. And Ant is just an all around unpleasant person. I don't know why he keeps subjecting us to his reality show appearances.
4 of 4 | Posted by Bingo Blog Boy | Posted on May 14, 2008 6:42 AM